We are in a gay relationship...he is 21 and I have caught him several times now placing ads and corresponding with many others. We have been togther for near 2 years..each time he says he will get help and stop, but i've heard that many times before. He also claims he has never actually had sex with anyone else, and that he has the need for that feeling of being wanted because i don't show him enough affection. I say "gee, i wonder why". The trust is gone but i still love him, or at least care about him and am worried for us both...what to do??
2006-07-25 13:33:39 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hopefully you see the overwhelming consensus of the people answering your question. What he is doing is taking advantage of the fact that you continue to tolerate his unacceptable behavior. You need to ask yourself "How can I love someone I can't trust?". Love is based on trust. If the trust is gone, the love is sure to follow. You need to recognize that you can't change him and that he is going to continue to act in this manner. Next, you need to decide if you can live with his behavior. I would really like you to realize that you don't have to put up with this. Now is the time to exercise your freedom to quit wasting your time on a losing investment. Even though it may be the hard thing to do it is going to be the right thing to do. Remember people don't change.
Also, don't confuse your love or caring for him with the caring you have for yourself (more directly your not wanting to be alone). Sure ever body wants to have someone to be with. But don't let that desire continue to keep you in a relationship that, from your own words, isn't worth your time or effort.
Please be strong and want for a better life. The choice is yours to make that better life happen.
2006-07-25 13:50:11 · answer #1 · answered by mstang 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a tough situation to be in. You both need to sit down and have a honest conversation. You both need to sit down and address the problems and what you each want to see happen in the near future. See if you can compremise so that you both get what you want. If all else fails go to counceling and work through the problem that way.
2006-07-25 13:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by italian_swim_chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the saying goes... If you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be. If you love this man and he continues to hurt you then the best thing for you to do it to walk away. He may not be ready for the commitment that you are ready for. Last but most important GET TESTED!!!! Trust you heart honey!!
2006-07-25 13:37:35 · answer #3 · answered by ~daTexasPrincess~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe your spending time asking how to stop him when you should be spending time on how to trust and believe that your worth more than that, and don't deserve the treatment he's dishing out. Get some backbone honey and leave his *** alone, there are plenty of men in the sea, never settle, not when your worth more than what he's putting out.
2006-07-25 13:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by snowflake9540 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step, make him your ex boyfriend! There are more fish in this sea and you're exposing yourself to all kinds of diseases. You are worth more than that and you need to get your self respect back, no one has the right to treat anyone that way. He has a problem and you are helping him act out his problems as long as you stay with him. Love yourself!
2006-07-25 13:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him .Thats what you call a repeat offender,If he keeps looking ,and telling you he will stop ,He wants his cake and eat it to .We all know that dosent work,especially with so many deseases going around .If you love yourself ,Be safe even if it means being alone .Still better than dead. Cheaters suck! Good Luck to you.
2006-07-25 13:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a person who has been doing that for years, he is a male prostitute, and a psychopathic liar. If you value yourself drop him. he shouldn't even be thinking of anyone else if he loves you. Get counseling, I have the feeling that lots of things will be uncovered or dump him
2006-07-25 13:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by magpie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him and want to be with him... Maybe you can talk to him about BOTH of you picking a third person to bring into the bedroom with you... Maybe it is something you two can enjoy together... Just a thought.
2006-07-25 13:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Krystina P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its because you are a gay and he wants to have a relationship with a real woman! YOu have to open your eyes and see if he is just taking advantage of you and using your money
2006-07-25 13:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by Warren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to Maury to settle your mind then once you get the positive lie detector results, dump him and go to the nearest clinic for a rapid aids test! Good luck!!!!!
2006-07-25 13:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋