This bothers me a lot and I don't know what to do about it.?

Question

If I have a problem it always ends in my bf getting support and care. Like if I have a head ache or stomach ache he has one too and adds he's had one a lot longer. If I'm stressed or don't wanna talk he gets upset and comments that either hes had a rough and stressfull day because of something going on with his brothers, parents, whatever and says he just wanted to talk to make him feel better. Its like he wants me to feel sorry for him when I'm hurting. But it just bothers me that I've never been able to say I'll talk to you a little later without him adding something that makes me feel bad that I wont talk to him at that exact moment. He does comfort me just not without making me feel guilty in the process. Maybe I'm stupid to notice this or feel this way, I don't know.

Answer 1

You are not stupid.
There are a lot of people who like to play the victim. Sounds like this is what you are dealing with.
I'm wondering how you react when he does this to you. If you give into his behavior, that's why he keeps it up.
Next time, ignore what he says and just repeat what you are feeling like a broken record. He'll take the hint sooner or later.

Answer 2

Sounds like he is turning the tables around on you to make you feel guilty, so good call on that one. The best way to explain that to someone is to tell them what they are doing. Next time you comment on having a headache or something and he says the same about himself, point it out. If he denies it....point it out the next time again. But he might be doing it because its a scape goat or an easy way out.

Answer 3

Guess what: he is a typical male! My (ex) husband was the same, if I had a headache, he had a migraine, if I had a cold, he had the 'flu.
But you need to communicate your feelings with him: pick a good time when neither of you are feeling stressed, and have a 2-way talk about your needs in this relationship.

Answer 4

I think you boyfriend is just being selfish and wants to be the center of attention at all times. I mean sometimes he might not be exagerating but it seems like he does this all the time. I think you'd be better off without him. Find someone who actually want comforts you without the guilt trip, and do the same in return.

Answer 5

I can give a suggestion but I don't know if it will help or not. One thing he shouldn't complain about his self when U feel bad he should try to make u feel better insted of bitching. Talk to him about it if its really bothering u. U have to tell him for him to know how u feel. Hope that helps.

Answer 6

You are not stupid. He is one of a few things...
#1. insensitive
#2. self-centered
#3. a cry baby
#4. needy
#5. rude
#6. ignorant

But he is definitely in need of being replaced! You are intelligent & obviously compassionate. Find another man. One who knows how to treat a woman PROPERLY.

Answer 7

Some people are like that. They have no ability to set aside their momentary problems to listen to you. It doesn't make him a bad guy however he is probably not the one to talk to when you need to vent. Call a girlfriend or someone else.

Answer 8

Seems like he always wanna be the center of attention.. That doesn't sound too good girl..

Why is it always about him? When is it gonna be about you? And no, you're not stupid for feeling this way..especially when you're not wrong.

Answer 9

You are making some good observations. Don't turn a blind eye. He can't see past himself, and will probably always be that way. Don't expect any emotional support from that type.

Answer 10

Sounds like he's a total attention seeker. I don't think it's you. I mean, it's quite a coincidence that every time you're not feeling well, that the same thing happen to him.