god i hate my dad???

Question

i am at the point where i want to kill my dad. not really but pretty damn close. well heres the story. i am about to turn 18 in six weeks but i am still going to have to live at home for another year or so. i am a senior in high school you see. well anyway my dad does not understand that i am not his little girl anymore. i am an adult with her own needs and i just need my own life. ya know? its so difficult to be around him sometimes bc he is so controling on my life. he freaks if i do anything with out telling him even a trip to the movies is a big deal. oh and get this. i got an ipod for christmas and it broke so dad got me a new one but he wont let me have it because he thinks that since i broke the other one i should have to pay for the new one. i did not break the first one on purpose. i mean it was a freaken christmas present. oh well the point of all this drama is to ask how do i tell my dad to leave me alone and let me live my own life? i love me dad but damn ya know?

just so everyone knows i am greatful for all the love my dad gives me. i dont hate him and never will so dont think that please. i am just growing up and i am ready to move out and away from my parents. i am ready to get on with my life.

Answer 1

I think you answered your own question. Time to move out on your own when you are legal to do so untill then grin and bear it.

Answer 2

Well I know that parents can be overbearing at times. I moved out when I was 16 because my dad was messing up his life, but had room to tell me how to live my life. Well basically I'm doing better than him, but I had to go to the extreme to get his attention. I would suggest sitting down with him maybe the two of you going to lunch together or something, so that he can see that you are maturing. Also, depending on the kinds of responsibilities that you have you can use these as examples as to why you should be given more space. I think that if you have a job and go to school without his help and are on time that kind of thing then he should be able to understand that you are growing up and that you need some space to continue to grow. I would even tell him that you need this time now so if you do run into any problems he is there and you will be able to learn from your experiences now rather than when you're an adult on your own. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

The additional comment was helpful. I have a 20 year old daughter who I am positive has often felt like you do.
But here are the facts.
Your mind is ready to move out but your finances wont allow it. You want to be free, but you want your dads money and support, and you do not want his rules and regulations. Well the problem is as long as he is paying the bills (or parts of them) you need to be respectful, caring, and realize that you are indeed still his little kid. When you are paying ALL of your own way, then you will be an adult. At any point you do not like it at home, move out and pay your own way! Otherwise shut up and listen to your dad and try to kiss up a little more and respect the fact that in a year or two that little baby girl he has loved all your life will indeed be leaving and out on her own. Tears come to my eyes as I think about it. I love my daughter, but damn ya know.

Answer 4

I have so been there but with my mom. Anyways, I am a father now, actually for five years. I love my daughter to death. Your is the way he is because no matter how old you will be you are always his lil girl and sometimes its really hard to let that go. With the Ipod situation, he is trying to teach you responsibility. I know it was a gift but he is just expressing the importance of taking care of things. He is just being a normal overprotective dad.

Now how to tell him that you would like some privacy and what not.....sit down with your dad and just ask him for space. Tell him that you will let him know where you are going because you understand that it is his house and you are under his roof but that you need to get out and enjoy some alone time with friends. I bet if you just talked to him and stay calm even if he gets a lil testy you two might be able to meet on common grounds. Thats what I would want as a parent. Sorry for the long answer but I hope it helps.

Answer 5

You're lucky to have a dad that cares about u,let alone a dada that's around.You should view his controlling,belittling, and scrutinizing behavior as love and concern 4 u,'cause that's what it really is.Although you are an adult and fel he should trust u more,it's actually the older a child gets that a parent feels more and more protective.It's not that he doesnt trust you,he knows and distrusts the world around you.You should try to heed him.The world is a cold,****** up place,and the longer ur in it,you'll understand,value and appreciate his care more and more.By the way,if you're an adult why would he have to spend money on a gift you broke(accident or not)?Would u make a friend rebuy u a gift?

Answer 6

well i am the father of a 14 and 22 year old...both girls. It is difficult for us to let everything go if we feel you are doing something that could be harmful. Maybe not in your eyes but we want you to get a good stable start on your life before we let you experience some things that we know you are going to experience. Since we don't know how your relationship was growing up, or how resposible you have been, it is difficult to answer. But it can be a big ugly world out there and we want to make sure you are ready to face it. It is a lot different then when we were your ages, financially and socially. So don't be to hard on him, and try not to get angry when bargining, that shows maturity and that you can be responsible. Like tell him where your going and when you will be home..if you will be late, call. Let him meet your friends and maybe thier parents. It helps a lot if you show you can bend, he will bend to i bet....Good luck

Answer 7

If your dad is not physically abusing you and the biggest thing is that he is asking you to pay for your Ipod...be thankful that you have such a loving dad. Age alone does not make one a real adult. Maturity does. If you were alone and working and your Ipod broke, what would you have done? Paid for one, right? So do you see the hypocrisy? you want to move out and be alone, at the same time you want you dad to pay for the Ipod.

So step back and think about the love your dad is showing you by teachng you to be responsible rather than complaining. many kids would not have ruined their lives if their parents were more involved with them.

Oh...and many of us have gone through what you are feeling. Later on in life, you will appreciate the love and concern he is showing.

Answer 8

well unfortunately hun as long as u live in ur dads house u have 2 live by his rules. (as for the ipod hun if u want 2 be an adult thats whats adults have 2 do if it breaks they have 2 pay 2 replace it n in the real world u dont get a replacement 4 a present unless u do it urself) ur dad has ur best interest at heart,give him a break its hard 2 let go n watch ur child make mistakes n grow.

good luck n remember once ur 18 if u really want u can get a job n go 2 school n move out on ur own.just remember that means paying 4 it all urself n working I know a lot of kids that do it.

Answer 9

Look here is the thing, you are18 or close to it right?

I am only 6 years your senior i am 24 years old.
I also have a 2 year old. I rebelled alot and acted
like my parents where the biggest hindrance to my
life when i was about your age. But now that has changed
alot. When you have a child you will understand what he is
feeling.

Parents are people, and the first time they see their
baby right out of the womb they love them and it is unlike
any love they have ever felt. Especiall fathers with their
daughters. You watch them grow up and become their
own special little people, you cry the first time they say
mama or daddy and wrap their little fingers around yours.
He probably feels like he is losing you, and you getting
angry at him is making it worse for him. Try to understand
he has sacrificed his life for you, and to have to let
go a child is hard especially when they seem to want
to have nothing to do with you. It is like losing your
spouse. I am very sad for the way i acted towards my
parents. ..

One day I had a talk with my mother (whom always
said i hated and wanted nothing to do with) she told
me about the day i was born, you see i was adopted
and she was crying for weeks because they thought
they wouldnt get me. She said the moment they put
my tiny little body in her arms she loved me and would
never let me go. He just loves you , he loves you so
much it kills him to see you drawing away from him.

Do this, next time you see him hug him and say "i love
you daddy" be as nice as you can and tell him
what your doing if it makes him feel better. He is
hungry for your love and affection again like when
you were a little girl. He just wants to be part of your
life. Another thing that you could do that has helped
me build a bond with my parents again is, chose
a day every month to go out with your father and
just do somehing him and you. It is so important
even when your an adult. From the moment they
saw you they would die for you. Let him know
you still love him back. Please try.

Answer 10

Ya know-- you dont even know what its like to be grown yet--- my daughter is 18 and she IS on her own (different state) and she tells me at least once a week how hard it is to pay bills, keep gas in her car to go to work 40+ hrs a week etc etc... so be thankful your not there yet--- its HARD on your own and you keep resenting your dad he WILL feel it and take offense to it and may not be there for you when you are out on your own and need his help bc trust me--- you WILL need his help. I grew up without a dad and pretty much without a mom so instead of gettin mad at your dad bc you dont get your way and hes doing nothing BUT being a DAD you need to take a deep breath and stand back and think about what you DO have bc you wont have ALL THAT on your own unless your a genius and can get an extremely good paying job bc you have bills that come 1st. Go tell your dad you love him and thank him for everything hes done and IS doing... you fight with him and 1 of you are gonna end up with hurt feelings and im sure neither one of you wants that. ALL kids "hate" their parents... thats the difference between parents who give a shi*t and parent who dont.

Answer 11

first of all with the juevenille attitude that you are showing I don't blame your dad for treating you like a child. Compromise goes two ways show him that you are capable of acting like and talking like an adult and you might see a change in his attitude. Both you are your dad need to sit down and make a list of things that are both fair and unfair on both side, make a list of what you are to be responsible for, and what his house rules should be,( and ask him to take your age into account don't yell at him parents go deaf from yelling and nothing gets accomplished) and news flash until you are able to get your own place you will have to see your dad everyday parents do not become invisible just because you are 18 and since it is his house and you live in it you need to get over it and grow up.