I'm young (26), independent, have a great job, I don't have kids, I've just got a handle on my confidence and I lost a bunch of weight, so I think Im actually quite attractive now.
Anyways, I'm ready to start dating again...but when to subject of past relationships come up, I try to play it off as cool...but I get this impression that when I mention my divorce they think something's wrong with me.
I just tell the truth...it was a starter marriage--which means we didn't have any kids or property that we had to battle over and it only lasted 2 years. There was really no drama...we just fell out of love and went our seperate ways.
LOL, the reaction I get is that they look at me funny like im LYING, hahaha. But it IS discouraging....In fact, I really didn't feel married and the break up was no worse than breaking up with a boyfriend, but only we had to break up "legally." Is this explaination hard to grasp?
Can I just say "Im single" without mentioning I am divorced?
2006-07-25 12:40:37 · 32 answers · asked by mzsunrize 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ah.. yes, he did cheat....straw that broke the camel's back as they say. This was AFTER we started becoming distant... thats why it looks like i didn't try very hard. Why fight for something you no longer care about?
2006-07-25 13:05:43 · update #1
Being divorced does not make you damaged goods. I was only married three yrs, but I have two great boys from it. Since you did not have any kids i guess you can just tell everyone you are single over divorced. Divorce means you had to sign that sweet little piece of paper stating that you are free of each other and to move on with your lives....do it!!! Enjoy your new life, and your new start on life...you have lost weight, you are a free woman, which means you are single with no strings attatched...have fun!!! You are young, enjoy your life and quit worrying if you should say single or divorced....say whatever floats your boat!
2006-07-25 12:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by thedothanbelle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first of all NO you are not damaged goods. People get divorced every day. I think what is scaring the men off is not that fact that you are divorced it is the fact that they think that maybe you are looking for husband #2. You do realize that you do not have to tell anyone that you were once married at all. If it was only two years and you are both done and there was no children or property to battle over than you do not have to tell anyone about this. it is up to you. I would act as if I was just starting out dating and have the time of your life. Dont take on too many men and or their baggage. Just date a man every now and then, and dont feel as if you HAVE to give them anything. You are out for you right now.
2006-07-25 12:49:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got off easy with your divorce. Most of them are horrible and leave the dumpee damaged for a LONG time. If it's over and you don't have kids you should be OK. It's not even information you need to divulge to new people that you are interested in. I always found this was a good way to handle this situation: If you are out with someone new that you really like and they ask about divorce just say " Yes, I've been married before. But I'd rather not waste my time with you talking about that. It's over and irrelevant. Now where were we?" Sounds like you're ready to find a new box of matches to play with. You'll be fine and good luck.
2006-07-25 12:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no! So you made a 'few' errors, all of us make em, that is your beyond. And why could you suppose a 'divorced girl' with 3 youngsters is broken items? I admit it is a mans global however all this can not and doesn't suggest that every one that are supposed to avert you from main a typical existence, and being ready of pursuing a dating. Go for it hun! Relationships don't seem to be just for youngster-much less, undivorced individuals - everybody desires love, desires to consider desired so discover your mr proper and not ever permit anybody let you know you are broken items! And individuals who let you know so are deluded individuals caught with misconceptions which they suppose to be actual. This ain't the seventeenth century lol, so opt for it and I WIsh you the quality of good fortune hun :)
2016-08-28 17:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Used goods? That's crazy, you are not something to be purchased. Maybe its the way you talk about your past marriage (starter marriage, went our separate ways, no worse then breaking up with a boyfriend) When you first date someone there is no need to get into that deep of a conversation. if they ask if you are single just say I am now and move on to something else, once the relationship gets to the point of delving into each others past, then spill it but I still suggest using words that do not make you sound cold and heartless because I'm sure that you are not.
Good luck
2006-07-25 12:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the wierd look is because they think you didn't try very hard. Most men don't want a woman who throws in the towel that easily...most men don't like lazy. I know as a mom myself that if my son brought home a woman who claims she had a "starter marriage" I would strongly dislike her from the get go. Falling out of love is a bullsh!t story and shows a weak fiber of soul. You should say something like you caught him cheating, and you don't put up with that. That could earn you a little respect.
2006-07-25 12:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not damaged goods! Dat fool was just not the person for you. Next time just say ur single. The whole world doesn't need to kknow ur business. Just when the right guy comes along, then you can let him know dat ur divorced. Go out and have a good time. Your drama free girl!
2006-07-25 13:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Traviesa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yahoo Erased is an idiot. You are NOT used goods. I would probably mentioned you were divorced though and not just say you're single. There are a lot of divorced people out there.. including me!
By the way, I got divorced at 36...that's even harder. You are a youngster!!
2006-07-25 12:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by WiserAngel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that being divorced makes you damaged goods. I think that your wording might be off. When I read "starter marriage" it made me think that you take marriage lightly and that you assumed to be married mulitple times. I know thats not what you meant but, that might turn people off by refering to it that way or maybe thats just me. My boyfriend had a "starter marriage" and it doesnt bother me. I think it makes a person understand better the type of person they want to be with. Maybe your just dating the wrong kind of people.
2006-07-25 12:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by Buttercup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can say you are single and not mention being divorced.. and if you meet somebody who you feel connected to and mention you are divorced, if he is in to you then he isn't going to care. Honestly, it is not as big of a deal as you are thinking it is. I am 28 and I have been married twice (my first marriage produced my daughter) and I am currently married to an attorney who swore he would NEVER date any body who has kids and has been divorced.. haha so don't sweat it. It is not a big deal.
2006-07-25 12:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by curiositykillsthecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋