>>>>>>>>the CLASH<<<<<<<<<<?

Question

My wife used to physically abuse me but now it's only
verbal. Over the years it has lessened (I think) or maybe i have
growbn accustomed to it. Anyway, I see a trail of emotional bashing
towards my children. I have been reluctant to divorce becasue I was
afraid she would get custody and then they would be unprotected,
wheras now I can console them afterwards. But I think I have enough
documentation now that I may get custody if I "go to war".
Now my wife seems to have been abusive less frequently, although I
know it's a matter of time befor ethe next explosion. She has refused
to go to the doctor and get medicine. I think she is bipolar/manic
depressive. We've been to several counselors but she always quits
going whenever they finally realize SHE needs to be responsible.
The other thing that has held me back from divorce is my strong
religious convictions. Yet I don't want to allow my kids to be
subject to her wrath. So tell me: should I stay or should I go?

Answer 1

while it is true that if you go there will be trouble, realize that in terms of your health and physical and mental well being of your kids, if you stay it will be double.

Answer 2

Honestly, my first marriage was similar with a lot of verbal abuse. You must think of the children first, they are defenseless and cannot take care of themselves so it is up to you. Let me ask you this, would the God that you worship want your children, his innocents in danger? I don't think so now and I didn't think so when I was subject to such abuse. Contact Child Services to help you or get some family involved to help move you and the children out. If you really love this woman and truly believe that she needs help, maybe something drastic like that would 'wake' her up. Stand strong and hold your children close to you. It's not just your life anymore, it's also theirs. I pray that you and your children will be okay and find some domestic peace that I know you probably need. Blessings to you all.

Answer 3

Go!!!! Granted, most religions discourage divorce( or outright prohibit it.) but you need to think of your children.Your wife, I'm sorry to say, needs help, and she clearly doesn't care enough to get it.It is your job as a parent to do the best you can for your children, and that includes protecting them from an abusive situation. Things have changed now a days and more and more men are getting custody of the children. You have it within your power to prevent an incalculable amount of psychological damage on your children.Use it.You may contact me through my profile if you wish.I will be glad to help,should you want it.

Answer 4

I would say to get counseling for you & your children unless there is physoical abuse. You can counteract the mental abuse by talking with your children and making sure that you all have strong prayer & God-based lives. In your vows you promised to stay married "in sickness and in health." Mental illness is a sickness. Ride it out & ask God for the strength and resources to make this work. I say this from experience because I live in the same situation. But mine is getting better as time goes by. Yours can too. I pray that your family will be healed & made whole again.

Answer 5

Matthew 19:1-9
After Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went southward to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Vast crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick. Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: "Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for any reason?" "Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning `God made them male and female.' And he said, `This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together." "Then why did Moses say a man could merely write an official letter of divorce and send her away?" they asked. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery--unless his wife has been unfaithful."


Jesus is being inconsistent here because he also says that he did not come to change the law, but to fulfill it. I will not go further on this because it does not really matter. See below.

1 Corinthians 7:10-16
Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a Christian woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise your children would not have a godly influence, but now they are set apart for him. (But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.) You wives must remember that your husbands might be converted because of you. And you husbands must remember that your wives might be converted because of you.


Your wife, through her behavior is being unfaithful and ungodly.



See my other more legal answer in the other (same) question.

Answer 6

You need to take action to protect your children. No matter what church you are in, no one is going to condemn you for getting your children and yourself out of a situation that is harmful. Once you leave, make sure to get some counseling for both your children and yourself. Maybe doing that will break the cycle.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Yes, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

Just about any pastor/religious leader would say the same. The ones who wouldn't are really messed up

Answer 9

I think You should talk to a coulple of divorce lawyers about the custody issue & see what they think

Answer 10

What are you saying really don't understand?