No Children at the Ceremony?

Question

I am the youngest of 4 girls and I have seen all 3 of my sisters get married. All of them allowed people to bring their children to the wedding and things were crazy. Kids being loud during the ceremony, running around during dinner, not being quiet during the toasts. I have 8 nieces and nephews so I know kids will be kids...I don't want to have kids at the wedding except for the kids that are in the wedding party. I am hiring a babysitter during the reception to sit at the kids table and make sure everyone behaves and if need be can take them out of the room. The ceremony is in the afternoon and the reception will be dinner and won't end until midnight. I don't want to be mean but I've seen what can happen with a lot of little ones there. Would you be offended if you weren't allowed to bring your children.

so far I appreciate the "adult" answers, "you suck" wasn't the brightest :) My problem is almost all of my friends have multiple children and counting adults only I'm already at 150 people and the children alone will bring it up to 200 people easy....ahhh the catering bill will be crazy!!

Answer 1

Oh my goodness I was just at one of those "every kid imaginable was there" weddings. It was awful. The maid of honor had to excuse herself from the head table during dinner to lasso some of the kids in (I think the parents thought it was their time to have fun too). I'm a teacher, very used to being around the little ones, but there is a time and a place. It is your wedding so do what will make you happy, and stress free!! You will have enough to think about. I for one would not be offended, I would even be a little happy knowing that it will be an "adult" night. If people think that not being by their children for three hours, then perhaps they need to find some other time to do so. Good luck with your wedding!! :)

Answer 2

I have gone to several weddings where babies and children were allowed and they were very good, children being children, but the parents took the children out of the ceremony when they got too restless, so that the ceremony was not ruined for others. The children also had a lot to do at some of these weddings. Some of the parents, brought extra clothes for the children and they went out and ran off their excess energy by playing kick ball, or soccor or something outside. While the adults with the children took turns watching the children play. I find that children make a wedding especially the dancing (i.e. the chicken dance). The one wedding that I was invited to after I had had my baby did not want children and as a result when I let them know that I was coming and that the babysitter would be necessary they discounted my saying this and had technically somewhere, somehow uninvited me and the baby, but kept my husband on the list. There were a lot of hard feelings created. Your idea about having the babysitter there at the reception is a very good idea, but try to have things for the kids to do, suggest nicely to the parents that they bring some things that the kids could share and enjoy during the reception as well. Good Luck.

Answer 3

When I see an invitation that says Miss Mary Smith and Guest or Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith, I assume that no one else is invited, including children (unless it says "and family", I say they're out). A lot of people don't view it this way.

It is perfectly alright to request no children at your wedding/reception. This is a special event for adults to enjoy. Prior to sending invitations, inform the parents of those children in the wedding party that you will provide a babysitter for the evening that will occupy them so the parents can enjoy themselves. When sending invitations, put on the invite "No children, please". If the invitations have already been printed, have an additional card printed that says no children. When people call and ask, inform them that you love their kids, but the only children will be the wedding party and they will be off with a babysitter. Best Wishes.

Answer 4

I'm in the same boat. I'm going to do an evening wedding, reception til about 11 or 12. I was going to do kids for family only, but after talking to my grandmother, I've decided to go with no kids under 10. There is no need for a 4 year old to be out that late. Do I feel bad? Yes. However, it just doesn't seem appropriate. Especially at a night wedding. Don't let anyone tell you you're mean. It is YOUR special day, no one else's, and is YOUR decision. If people don't like it, tough luck. Your wedding, your choice. And congratulations!!

Answer 5

you can put on the invitation " Adult reception" following ceremony and if you are having this in a place that has an extra room then allow the kids and babysitter to play in there. get a TV with a DVD player and other games, and set it up. have some fun food for them to eat. like MC or something. and then send in cake later. Adult reception should do it. good luck this is a hard one.

Answer 6

The hall that my finance and I are renting for our reception has a large and smaller room. The larger room is going to be devoted to the dinner and entertainment and the smaller room is going to be devoted to the children. Our reception is going to be very casual with an island theme b/c we are getting married and having a reception in Jamaica and also having a reception here. We intend to get all types of coloring books, games, and crafts to keep them occupied. The reason for this is that we don't want to exclude anyone from attending and while they will be responsible for watching their own children it still will keep them from creating havoc. Some people are not as fortunate to have a "baby sitter" so if possible you could set space aside for the children. Just a thought. Good luck!

Answer 7

Nope, I think it's your wedding and if you want to limit the children to those who are in the wedding party and their children, that's your perogative. You might even want to check with your reception venue to see if you can have the wedding party children in another room, you can have games in there for them, a tv, DVD w/movies, and maybe even some sleeping bags if the party's scheduled to run late, depending on the ages of the children. Their parents will thank you for that one!!!

Just make sure that you address your invites to the parents only. For example, the inner envelope should be addressed to "John and Mary Smith." That tells the Smith's that while Mom and Dad are invited, Junior and MIssy are not. Also, have your response cards, if the John Smith family puts down that 4 people will be attending, you might have to make a very tactful phone call that their children are not welcome, you just won't have anything for them to do. Most parents will be THRILLED with the opportunity to spend a night w/o the kids!!!

Answer 8

Anybody who wants to take children (people under 14 years old) to an event that runs from afternoon until midnight -- is nuttier than a fruit cake! A wedding reception is simply a party, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to have an adult party.

Please take a look at an answer I gave to another bride who wanted tips on controlling the guest list, at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=AgDM8KasS1Lvts41knmogc4jzKIX?qid=1006051524132

The plan outlined there has four great advantages. (1) It keeps you in control of who may and who may not attend, rather than giving guests free rein to invite guests of their owns. (2) By eliminating the "guests of the the guests", you are able to invite more people who you actually know and care about. (3) You have a very accurate count of who will and who will not attend, eliminating the expense of "just in case" food for the "might show up" people. (4) During the "confirm your RSVP" calls, guests will ask what gift you'd like. It would be very rude to bring the subject up yourself, but if people ask, there's nothing wrong with telling them that cash is your favorite household item.

Congratulations and best wishes!

Answer 9

Maybe you could hire a couple of teenage girls to entertain the kids in a different room than the reception. Rent some movies, have pizza and let the kids be kids and the parents wont have to worry about a babysitter.

Answer 10

if you are having a kids only table and want to cut back on costs a lot of caterers will make special "kids meals" for half the price. Also maybe you could allow kids at hte reception but have an area for them to play and be kids....I'm sure if you had a play area they would rahter be there then around the "boring adult party" :) Good Luck!!!