Guys. At what point does helping a female friend with her problems (emotional/mental/etc) start to be driven by an ulterior motive? I’ve cussed this guy out several times, especially in the last couple days, because he’s been pushing and pushing me to figure out what’s bothering me…like a drill sergeant, really. I don’t mind, it’s helpful, but my problem is that I’m not sure /why/ he keeps coming back and trying to help, despite his numerous threats to sign off and not come back. I ask him and his responses just confuse me. All he says is that I’m a better friend than a lot of the ones he has and that he likes me becuase I'm "intelligent and have a sense of humor." (Haven’t figured out his definition of ‘like’ yet.) Does he have an ulterior motive?
2006-07-25 11:39:47 · 29 answers · asked by sweet_lil_cowgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you might be outthinking yourself here... any guy who cares enough to want to help you with your problems-much less listen to them-is special... how do i know? because i'm like the guy you described... the only difference is that i'd be a little more offended than he seems to be... when i try to help girls out with they're problems there aren't any ulterior motives. many girls however, really take guys like me for granted and at times will treat or talk to me like crap but in the end, they realize what a big mistake they've made... do yourself a favor, without thinking, write down a list of the things you'd want in a guy... then check off the listed qualities that this guy possesses... i'm willing to bet that there are more than a few that are dead-on...!
not all guys are sleazeballs... and not all girls are loyal, sensitive, faithfull, kind and familyoriented people... moreover, being humans, we'll occasionally, get the wrong idea about people and outthink ourselves when we consider our intuition to be equal to nostradamus's...
2006-07-25 11:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by greaterrome 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men like to fix things, especially other peoples problems rather than their own. Threats are not good in a friendship, and one would consider this before addressing the ulterior motive.
2006-07-25 11:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, but guys are mysterious creatures. They're also much more simple than we think they are. Guys are problem solvers and that's what he's trying to do with you. Honestly I'd just try to figure out the other issues in your life, accept that you have a good friend, and not drive yourself crazy wondering if it's more.
2006-07-25 11:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello gullo_cowgirl422,
Of course he does. Usually guys want to hook up with a girl. But it sounds to me like you only need someone to tell all your problems to. No doubt he likes you and wants to have something more, but maybe you come off as just wanting to be friends, or maybe you've got so many problems that he's totally frustrated with being with you. I don't know from the paragraph that I've read.
But, don't worry, eventually, it will sink in and he won't waste his time with you anymore.
--Rick
2006-07-25 11:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had experience with that...true there is a possibility that he may have another motive but there are rare guys...ive seen 3 that just get really concerned about you out of the blue and "just"want to help... its really hard to answer your question...
In my opinion..becareful because these kinds of guys are usually very weak and might think theyre even in love with you at one point in time...
2006-07-25 11:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard To Say,But With The "Nature" Of Things I'd Guess Probably
2006-07-25 11:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I had a friend like that on the computer, but he lives in the UK so I doubt seriously if there was any alterior motive to it. Maybe your friend is the same?
2006-07-25 11:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Cricket 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, all men always have ulterior motives for sex. So like my good advice :d Is it working for you?
2006-07-25 11:43:37 · answer #8 · answered by Randy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well chances are that he wants you "down south" (sorry for the lack of a better metaphors), or that he just cares for you and wants to help you out emotionally and wants to be your soul mate and all that.
2006-07-25 11:47:09 · answer #9 · answered by gregtkt120012002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't really help you on that one, that's your side of the story lol. I know I help out a lot of females with their problems, or just listen to the vent, not every guy wants to just "get it on." he could be, it's kind of something you need to watch for and be aware of yourself.
2006-07-25 11:44:27 · answer #10 · answered by Melander 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋