advice on being a single mom..?

Question

I am soon to be the single mother of an infant boy and a 2 1/2 yrold boy .I dont want to deny him the right to see his father,but his dad only wants to sell drugs to make money and blame everyone else for his problems.So what my question is , is this..whatare some helpful hints for raising boys?..how can i mold them into men who willl be accountable for themselves and treat others right?..anything you got will help..please ?

Answer 1

i would say find a male role model for them...it doesn't have to be their dad, but a male does need to be in there to teach them how to be men...it could be your father, a co-worker, or even a single guy at church...but that influance does need to be had on both boys.

Answer 2

I was a single parent of a teen girl and a tween boy. I think it is really important to get your son some "positive" male companionship. Big brothers, a relative who you trust, boys clubs etc. When he gets a little older there is boy scouts and clubs like that. At his young age right now he most importantly needs his mommy. I honestly believe that a negative male influence is much worse than no male influence at all. And by the sounds of his father he would be a negative influence. Like I said all he needs now is his mom, and when he gets older there are many ways to get him some good male role models. Just dont choose anyone though, look into the organization and the person who will have this much influence on your child. Also keep in mind that you may get to the point where you may meet someone you wish to have a relationship with. That is ok and can be great if he turns into a permanant fixture of the family, but dont bring home every guy you date. It is not good for your son to meet every guy, get to know him, maybe become attached to him, and then he disappears when things dont work out between mom and him.. Whatever you do though, do NOT downplay his father. If you cant tell your son the good qualities his father had then dont talk about him at all until you can. My parents divorced when I was 3. And my entire growing up years all I heard when my mother was mad at me was...."you are just like your rotten father." Well I knew how much she hated him, so I figured she hated me too.

Answer 3

I will warn you, you wont like my answer.
It all starts with you. If the father was such a looser why were you with him?
OK that's history YOU have to show your kids the right way to live. You have to show them to respect themselves and others. You have to show them how to work hard and EARN what they want, not to expect others to give them ( THEM that could be you grand parents , friends or the government)
YOU lead by example and that means the people you hang with the way you treat others the language you use. Last but not least never hit or punish out of anger I am not against spanking but not when you mad.

It will not be easy and you may never get any thanks for the job you do. There will be times when you cry and want to quit, at those times I hope you have a friend that you can talk to and cry on there shoulder
GOOD LUCK

P.S I just read the rest of your answers they all (except the first 2 idiots) have good points big brothers church all of it

Answer 4

well, the dad sounds like a loser and the kids shouldnt be around a bad influence like him. Until he straightens his act up i would NOT let the kids around him.

Just teach the boys to respect women. Try to teach them rite from wrong. For now just have them spend time with a responsible male figure in their lives. Could be a relative or friend.

Dont worry, you'll do just fine. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hi. first up, your doint the right thing in getting them away from a father that has a negative impact on your children. I'm a product of a single parent, and am my self a single parent. You will need to take on the role of mother / carer and father / protector. Not easy, but definatley rewarding. I grew up with strict right and wrong and knew where my boundaries were. You can im me if you wish and we can discuss

Answer 6

Legaly, you have to prove him an unfit parent, so people telling you not to let the kids see him, is actually very much against the law,so take him to court ,and ask for supervised visitation for him,basicly you have to be there to watch over him and the kids. Second play sports with them, Have any uncles or male friends or family help time to time. And just be a tom boy with them.

Answer 7

You just teach them all the morals and principals you have within you.My experience with men raised by their mothers is that they are more sensitive and intune with how to be a good man and eventually father to their children. Dont think because you are not a man you cant teach them,you would be selling yourself short....God Bless and take care

Answer 8

If you have any positive and strong male adults in your family, such as your father, maybe an uncle or cousin even, then I would ask them for their help in being mentors for your children. If nobody in your family qualifies, then maybe look to some of your male friends who also possess good positive qualities.

Best wishes to you and your boys! I'm proud of you for not wanting to stay with their father, cuz he really sounds like a loser!

Good luck! :)

Answer 9

I am proud that you stand up for you self and kids. All you need is to be stern and patience. Patience's is good I have raised three kids on my own. Don't let them have their way to much. If they get rough stick them in a corner or pat their butt. Don't back down. you need anymore advice look at my profile. I will talk. and tell everyone else to kiss your butt, If they don't like what you are doing.

Answer 10

Well first off,I am really sorry about the kids sorry father.Secondly,If you teach your boys to respect you,They in turn will respect other women the same.PLEASE do'nt coddle them "that makes them sissies".Hold them accountable for their mistakes and punish them accordingly.Remember if you spare the rod you spoil the child.Boys are REALLY hard headed,But I am sure you will do just fine.