advice on being a single mom..?

Question

I am soon to be the single mother of an infant boy and a 2 1/2 yrold boy .I dont want to deny him the right to see his father,but his dad only wants to sell drugs to make money and blame everyone else for his problems.So what my question is , is this..whatare some helpful hints for raising boys?..how can i mold them into men who willl be accountable for themselves and treat others right?..anything you got will help..please ?

Answer 1

make sure they have an adult male to model after in thier lives
he can be a friend of yours, or an uncle
it will benifit them greatly

Answer 2

First off, be encouraged! You are not alone! Join a support group with single moms like yourself. it's great because you can gain perspectives on how other single moms have dealt with similar situations. you'll have a group of woman who will keep you accountable and support you unconditionally. you can find these within your community, social networks and even church! Also, there are many great books about rearing children as a single mother!

--The Single Mother's Survival Guide by Patrice Karst

--The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns by Andrea Engber

--Living Well As a Single Mom by Cynthia Yates

--From One Single Mother to Another by Sandra Picklesimer Aldrich

--The Single Mother's Book: A Practical Guide To Managing Your Children, Career, Home, Finances, And Everything Else by Joan Anderson

I have a friend who is a single mother and she just absolutely blows me away. I admire her strength, courage, beauty and sacrifice when it comes to her kids. It's no easy task, but I have faith that you'll do great.

best,
~pinecomb

Answer 3

What a courageous woman you are.

I have two boys myself and when the first one was a baby, I read a book which I found to be very useful, called 'Raising Boys' by Steve Biddulph.
It talks about providing good male role models and what boys need to grow and flourish. Give it a go if you can and remember to be kind to yourself too. A happy mother is one of the things that will help your boys feel secure.
It won't be easy but you can do it, I know you can.

Answer 4

Hey, dont worry. I have been a single mother of of three and i'm raising a boy who just turned 9. He's a handful and he has his fathers attitute, which is bad. But try to understand him and never allow him to follow those footsteps. My son is smart and has high ambitions, now you try to do the same for your son. Yes he's young but the sooner the better. Dont worry, I know he'll grow up to be someone with high morals and great dreams. Be with him every step of the way. Love him and Be very attentive.

Answer 5

Im sorry to hear that your boys will be without a father, but not that a huge influence for the worst is not going to be in their lives.

A lot of who a man becomes is influenced by hs father. As a child the person a young boy most wants to be like is his father. Innocence and love dont see the darkness until its way too late. As a teen his personality and aptitudes conform to his idea of who his father was and he tests himself against them. Thats how "manhood", that incredibly fuzzy but very powerful and important idea is transferred. Its not earned, it is given by one who has it.

I would suggest putting them around excellent men, and letting them soak up the vibes. I would suggest teaching them how to find out for themselves what is right and wrong.. maybe not at this age, but around when they are 6 or 7. As a mom you can tell them and they will have to accept what you say, but that only lasts so long and often not into teenage years. Teaching them how to independently find right from wrong is like teaching them to fish instead of just giving them a fish - it can feed them for a lifetime instead of just for a day.

Get them in a church. God can do things with character that a single mom really couldnt otherwise be able to hope for.

Good books to read:
- How to make children mind without losing yours
- Wild at Heart
- Tough Love

Drugs are bad news. My sister who was in a gang told me about a lady who sold her baby to a dealer for a line. What would a dealer use a baby for, I asked. She said that no cop is going to search a baby stroller, and the dealer could just have someone babysit for a little bit, then someone else. It was about distribution. The point is, drugs can make you very stupid, and even make a parent sell their child for a high. Keep that man out of their life till he is clean, and not just telling you clean.. took a blood test (not urine test) and then took another three months later, and they both came up clean.

Answer 6

Just give lots of love and affection. Give them your full attention and just because your a woman doesn't mean your cannot teach them to become strong, successful, respectful men. I think women make the best men!! You don't need anybody or any man. If you find a new guy than great but make sure he is nice to your children. You will be fine trust me!! It's all new to you so your worried but you will be fine.

Answer 7

I have a 3 year old boy and a 2 month old daughter, I too am a single mom. The best way to raise your sons is to teach them respect, and be the best role model you can be, remember they learn from actions not words. Best of luck!

Answer 8

:D..

Dont be discouraged at times things may feel overwhelming... but raising 2 boys can be alot of fun and A HANDFUL.. my two are 4 and 2.. Its great to find a male role model for their life such as a brother, uncle, or even a good friend. Great men in their lives can have a huge impact on how they relate to the rest of the world.

Remember that your son's are focused on your relationship with other males..... as well... Any male from family to friend will teach your son's how males interact with females if they see male role models that are respectful to women they'll learn to be respectful. They will also focus on how you relate to other males.. How you react and respond to other males will teach them how women should interact with males. Also, keep your eye out for mother's who have had their share of boys'.. they always have great advice to offer as well as tips on raising boys... Good Luck :D

Answer 9

First of all, my advice is this. As much as he may need a male figure in his life, he doesn't need to be involved with a father who does drugs and sells drugs. What kind of message is that giving him... If he cleans up and sobers up yes.. In the meantime, just tbe the mom that you can be.. You know right from wrong.. You know how you want to betreated. You know what hurts,, all those things can learn with just your help.. Don't be afraid..

Answer 10

Being a single parent is usually better than being a married, dysfunctional family. Tell the kid everyday that you love them twice as much because you are parenting for both mother and father.

Answer 11

by keeping them away from their father. when you deal in the drug world a lot of things can go wrong for instance they find out he has children and decide to kill the kids for something stupid he did then you will not have your children. keep them as far away from him as possible until he can prove to you that he is not living in that kind of lifestyle anymore. they will be better off. and if you happen to find someone make sure you tell them that you are not looking for a father for your kids that way whatever happens between them will be natural and they wont feel pressured to step up to the plate...