What should I tell my Southern Baptist relatives?

Question

My relatives are all very religious. I, seeing as I'm not a Christian and am not shy about telling them so, am sort of a curiosity to them. They like asking me qustions just to see what craaazy things will come out of the nutty infadel's mouth next. "Ya don't think them thar gays are sinfull? Really? Really?! But it's so gross!" etc. I feel like an animal being poked with a stick. I feel like they don't take me seriously at all, and they defenently don't respect my religious beliefs (I'm a Universal Unitarian, leaning towards agnostic, btw). They've even told me I'm "gon' end up in HELL!" Hearing that from people online is no big deal, but from my own flesh and blood? That stings.

What should I say nxt time they question my religious beliefs?

Sorry, kathy1000, that's never going to happen. :)

Thanks for not answering my question, j h!

Answer 1

You have to realize that no person of faith is ever going to take you "seriously". They will always be this way, until they wake up and realize that they are the foolish ones.

What you need to understand though, is that YOU are definitely the one in the right. If you don't have a lot of conviction in your choice of beliefs, then I would recommend gaining some. Study, and understand their point of view, and find the evidence to back up why you disagree with them. The evidence is abundant, trust me.

As an atheist/agnostic, as long as you know your subject matter, you will be able to argue a Christian into submission in a matter of minutes. This is not because you're great at arguing. It's simply because atheism does not have the faults that theism does. It's easy to argue for the right side, when the right side is obviously right. All you're arguing against is their reluctance to accept facts.

With that in mind, just smile when they "poke" at you. Know in your heart that you are right, and that you can prove it to them. And then simply decide if you truly think it's worth it to do so. I find in most cases, I don't enjoy arguing such things in family or social situations. And I don't feel the need to justify my beliefs to anyone. I really feel like it's more of a service that I'm doing for them, to actually explain these things.

And if you don't feel like doing that, don't. But there's no reason for you to feel like you're the butt of anyone's joke. You're the smart one in the room. Accept it, and embrace it. It can be lonely at the top, though, I know. But that's why you have to surround yourself with equally "enlightened" people.

Answer 2

When I was a teenager, I had relatives who treated me like I was some sort of museum exhibit just because of my age group. It was always, "what's the 'in' thing?" "Why do you paint your nails like that?" "What music do all the kids listen to?" There was always an inspection of, and commentary on, my appearance and general mood at the time, which was attributed to my age demographic. So what you describe sounds very familiar to me, only yours is about your religious and spiritual beliefs.
My response at that time was to come right out and say that I am a person, an individual, and not an interview subject for all teens everywhere. Sometimes I said that I did not want to be scrutinized like that, can we please change the subject? Other times I just walked out of the room and returned when the conversation had turned to something else.If you don't want to engage in these conversations, just don't. There is no need to try to explain your religious beliefs to people who will never respect or understand them, so change the subject or walk away.

Answer 3

I say come up with something universal to say that doesnt express your opinion. An example would be "everyone is entitled to there own beliefs" and leave it at that. after they hear you say very vague things about 10 or 15 times they'll lose interest. You cant have an argument with just one person participating. Youre entitled to your opinion, but it doesnt have to be the family discussion when youre there. You know youre different and thats that. In regards to the hell thing I dont know what to tell you. If you arent a Christian then I wouldnt worry about going to hell. They cant put you there anyhow.

Answer 4

I am a Southern Baptist.

If they ask you about your beliefs try these answers:
1. Tell them that the topic is not open for discussion.
2. You could start handing them leaflets from your religion or non-religion. Then when they get offended, tell them "Now you understand how I feel."
ALSO
If they try to condemn someone else for their actions, remind them that the Bible says to let the man without sin cast the first stone. Then ask them which one has never sinned.

The Bible also says 'Judge lest ye be judged.'

I am not sure what you believe, but I believe that we are all God's children wether we chose to act like it or not. Remind your family that by acting the way they are, they are not pushing you towards anything. Instead they are pushing you away from them.

Good luck and God bless

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your predicament and I certainly empathize! I would try to use this as an opportunity to enlighten them thar ignorant hillbillies. Anytime you can teach someone something, or open their mind just a little, you are doing good. I would try to respond to their prodding in a calm, rational, honest and non-judgmental way. If they start accusing, proselytizing, or ganging up on you, then politely ask to change the subject. This is family after all, and it's best to be the bigger person and opt out of arguing with them.

Answer 6

For the person here who quoted Jesus, saying "In my Father's house there are many rooms" - Jesus also said "I am the Way the Truth and the Life", and "No one comes to the Father except through me"
I just noticed that you like to pick and choose which quotes of Jesus best suit your beliefs, and which you will ignore. Belief in Jesus is the only way to heaven. He said so Himself. If we're going to quote Jesus, then let's quote Jesus. Otherwise, stay away from scripture altogether. Because you can't just choose to accept some things Jesus said, and not all things He said. Unless you think He was just a man. And, if so, I would say again, you might as well just stay away altogether.

Answer 7

YOU use the stick to poke them.

As ridiculous as they think you are, their beliefs are no match. Learn about what they know. Read a few blogs for some good questions to ask them (I suggest "debunking xianity")

You needn't be on the defensive, as you are not taking an affirmative position; they are. That being said, do a bit of homework and learn just how inane their beliefs are. Arm yourself with firm, polite, but cutting questions and ask them to defend their beliefs.

Answer 8

I would say "All religious beliefs are valid, even if they differ from person to person. I respect yours; please respect mine." It may take about 100 times hearing this for them to realize the importance of respecting your message, but hey, if you gotta say something, might as well be a message of peace. :)

I understand about the stinging. It's easy for me to discount someone online, or anyone who I don't know very well, not understanding my belief system, my passions, opinions, etc. After all, why should I care what they think if I hardly know them? But family is different, as I do care about their opinion. I'm realizing that family doesn't have to be limited to those I share blood with. It can be anyone I connect with who can disagree with me without judgement, like a good friend.

Answer 9

If they are believers in the Bible just tell them Jesus said "Judge ye not lest ye be judged." If they won't leave you alone then they are disobeying the word of God and they're the ones who'll end up in hell. Just point that out to them. Disobeying Gods' word is just as sinful as gay marriage and and abortion. God doesn't make a distinction between any of them, so your relatives are the real sinners.

Answer 10

Maybe if you explain it to them as well as you have just explained it here they might listen to you, Ask them to respect your beleifs. S'pose chances are they are going to keep doing it - but just have the satisfaction that you have probably opened their minds a tiny bit, made them slightly more open to other ideas. I have a similar thing going on with my family - I'm vegetarian, they love to eat raw cow hide, you get the picture - I'm a freak show for them, same story - it's been 15 years for me like that - let it make you stronger though, don't let it wear you down.