How to deal with in laws?

Question

I have an inlaw that is very passive aggressive. She would love to be the mother of my two stepchildren and feeds them sweets and candy all of the time. I do not feed my child this at all and have boundaries for how anyone handles my child. She tells everything about our business to my husbands exwife and is always trying to look like she is this sweet little innocent grandma, when I wasn't born yesterday. How would I deal with a women who would rather see me dead, in a respectful way. She abandoned my husband when he divorced his exwife but she is still his mother and no matter what that will never change. I have already told her no on a number of occasions which seems like more than what other people do. How can I deal with her and still keep my sanity?

Answer 1

You need to talk to your husband regarding his mother and tell him that you are uncomfortable with the way she behaves around you and the fact that she runs to mouth off to the ex-wife...i think its his problem to deal with and you should make sure he does...afterall, i am pretty sure he can tell off his mom and still have a relationship with her, ya know? Remind him that he chose to marry you, he chose you and while you respect his relationship with his mother, she should respect his relationship with you and the fact that you are a permanent addition

Answer 2

Wow !!!
The fact that she still has a relationship with your husband's ex is the problem... She will probably never feel the way she feels about the ex towards you.. as far as for the kids they are your stepchildren and i'm sure that whatever boundaries and rules you have set for them will never be followed..come on the ex's says it is OK for mother-in-law to defy you!!!
The fact that you say she abandoned her own son when they divorced, OMG what is wrong with her!!
I would have to tell her how i feel and when ya'll have the children don't bring them around her!! She really needs to be put in her place and that is out of your and your families business!!
I admire you for caring enough to set boundaries, rules and looking out for your stepchildrens health..
Just goes to show you not all step moms are evil!!
Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

Seriously, I feel your pain. At this point you need to have your husband step in. Tell him to get some "balls" and sit his mother down, just the two of them. He needs to back you up 100 percent and tell her that she needs to repect you. It's not a choice, this is something she needs to do if she wants to be part of his life, because YOU are a part of his life. She doesn't have to like you, but she does have to respect you. If she can't do that, then the simple answer is to avoid her and make it so she isn't involved in your life. That may be hard, but the pro's out number the con's. Sure, she will always be your husband's mother, maybe a phone relationship is good enough; it doesn't mean you have to visist or that she is welcome at your house. You have the power to make that choice for your household, for yourself, and for your kids.
As far as her telling stuff to the ex-wife...That would piss me off too! But I wouldn't stress over it too much. Birds of a feather flock together...and who cares what the ex thinks anyway. She obviously doesn't have her own life, otherwise she wouldn't care about what happens in yours.
I hope things work out for you. It's about you and your hubby...and NO ONE else.

Answer 4

Let her know that her son and you are now together. And you have certain rules for the children. Let her know it only confuses them when she gives them something they are no suppose to have. As for her telling everyone your business dont tell her anything. This is what i have to do with my mother in law. She talks. Other then that theres not alot to do but try not to stress over it.

Answer 5

I am unsure but if you get a good answer please forward it on to me *rolling eyes*. My mother in law never listened to any of my wishes we have since moved from Indiana back to Australia and THANK GOD. When my first son was two weeks old she dropped a little sprite in his mouth" oh how cute"...no really not especially when he pukes on me and at two months she let him suck on a pickle spear and THEN asked if it was alright :-|
I have a newborn now and am so glad I get to raise him without interference.
GOOD LUCK!! hey there's always Australia *grin*

Answer 6

You and your husband are a team. So quit the solo act and both of you sit granny down and give her a talk.

You might just be a daughter in law, but that's her son. She will listen, or she won't see her grandkids it's pretty simple :)

Answer 7

to manage near-minded in legislation, is not to manage them in any respect you realy ought to positioned anything to the aspect and move on i visitor that day a few one awoke at the incorrect aspect of the mattress, it occurs alot with in legislation.and approximately been left passed does not ought to do with proper and incorrect, ia'm additionally left passed, so is my son , one among my brother and a pair of of our grand-youngsters, all of us can use each palms however that's now not the case. my mother attempted to corrected it , via puting matters again in my proper hand and he or she advised me she gave up, for the reason that i will be able to difference it proper again to my left hand, so been left-passed isn't against the law, nor a sin,it is simply distinctive, subsequent time they trouble you once more, inform them recognise you consider, for the reason that they do not know you good, due to the fact that it has taken them many years to spotted this functional factor approximately you, Shame ON Them,do not fear approximately that, this isn't fundamental in any respect.Don't allow your in-legislation pressure you out. Peace.

Answer 8

Be patient. As patient as you possibly can. Oh yeah, take deep breaths too. Just remember, it's only temporary and you're doing it for someone you love.

Answer 9

Move as far away as possible

Answer 10

ignore her, that worked with my pushy mother in law