He is 4 years old and he has snuck into my bedroom, while I'm sleeping, and taken powdered eyeshadows and my purfume and dumped them on his bedroom carpet. He is potty trained but twice he has pooped on the carpet behind his bed. Once during nap time and once in the morning. It wasn't an accident he pulled his skivies down and wiped himself with them. I can't leave him alone for a minute because of what he might get into. The bubbles from his bubble bath, on the floor, the bleach cleaner sprayed on the carpet, the list goes on. Should I just place locks on all of the doors and treat him like an infant? At least an infant doesn't know any better. BTW I am a SAHM and he is an only child, so he gets all of our attention. Any solutions?
2006-07-25 09:37:26 · 14 answers · asked by S G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Are there any new changes in his life (new baby, move, new school)? It does sound like he's stressed, angry, and trying to feel powerful. If this is the case, give him lot of extra love and support.
He is getting attention for this behavior. It doesn't matter if it's negative or not, it's still attention. Start giving him attention when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You did that by yourself! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture." These are intrinsic rather that extrinsic ("Good job," stickers, candy) motivators. These phrases are a great way to give attention and great confidence builders. It will also help him to feel powerful.
Hold him responsible as much as you can for the clean up. He can clean up the poop on the floor, and his underwear when he poops in them. Have him spray clean on the carpet and wipe it up. It will become a chore for him and he will learn it's much easier not to make the messes. Don’t make a big issue out of it. Just say “It looks like you need to clean that.”
Use natural and logical consequences when disciplining him. Taking away a toy or privilege when he spills bubble bath on the floor is not logical. Taking away a toy if he throws it or damages it is logical. Cleaning up the bubble when he throws them on the floor is logical. Also, if he damages something in the home, he can do chores around the house or money comes out his piggy bank to pay for the damages. Another logical consequence to spilling bubbles in that he can have bubbles in his bath. You can say "I can't let you have bubble bath. I'm afraid you will spill it. When you're ready not to spill it you can have it back." Wait a few days before you give it back to him.
Get you son lots of art supplies (markers, crayons, scissors, stencils, glue, paper). Set aside an area where he can do art work and his own drawer to put it in. He may become more interested in this rather than making messes with household items. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-07-25 12:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's an intelligent, adventurous fellow who is a bit bored. I have a three year old who does things like that. I try to keep things put away and limit access to our bedroom and the bathroom etc. but messes still happen. It does seem to help if I keep new activities going a lot---reading books, taking walks, playing in the sandbox or kiddie pool, writing with sidewalk chalk, painting with watercolors. It also helps to keep washable crayons and paper on hand and small musical instruments like a tambourine, recorder (kind of like a flute), toy piano, etc. I let my daughter help me with household chores too. She rinses the dishes and helps put away clean clothes. She pulls the button out on the washing machine and helps put clothes in the dryer. She also has a toy vacuum and toy broom and helps "clean." She loves "helping Mama" and if she's right beside me working she can't get into much. Hang in there, hon. Someday all that creativity will be put to good use and you'll be proud. :)
2006-07-25 10:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by Faith M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what your day consists of, sounds like he needs your attention. Yet as an only child, I'd expect he get too much attn. At any rate, I'd speak to your pediatrician. And question if you need to see a counselor for your son. If you're told that he's 'normal'. Then I'd enroll him in preschool. He needs a break. And so do YOU.
2006-07-25 09:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the correct answer--go back to treating him like an infant. Lock up EVERYTHING he can get into, tell him he will go back into diapers or pull-ups if the pooping in the floor doesn't stop.
2006-07-25 09:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quality, not quantity. He obviously wants attention, so it must be a different kind then you're currently giving him. 4 year olds do rebel, and will continue to, until you put a stop to it. Are you using the proper discipline for a pre-schooler? Have you talked to his ped about options?
2006-07-25 09:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by Randi L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set up a reward system. Say if he does not make any messes and uses the potty for the whole day he gets an ice cream, and gradually 2,3,4,5,6 days and eventually a whole week before he gets the reward, but if you dont keep at it with more rewards, he will start making messes as soon as he gets his reward. Good luck!
2006-07-25 11:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him in an adult manner and tell him when he does these things that it is not exceptable. Buy him some big boy shorts. Show them to him explaining that when he performs in the proper manner that he can wear them.
Good luck. I know what you are going through. I also raised a little boy.
2006-07-25 09:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by mamadookidd@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwww... that is normal... my 2yr old daughter is the same. They just are mischivious and they think the can get away with stuff- you just let your son know who is boss and tell him NO. Not in a nice way either. Make sure he knows that next time he does that he will not be happy!
2006-07-25 09:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by Prettyeyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i belive in spanking your child. and thats what it sounds like to me. a good old fashion spanking and he should quit. if not make him clean up the mess he makes and put him in time out or take some thing he likes away. there are many ways to deal with this you need to find one that works for you and your child
2006-07-25 09:44:03 · answer #9 · answered by beatiful one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, in the starting up, you won't be able to boil 100 eggs in 20 seconds........ What i'd do is get a gallon of milk from the refrigerator, empty it on the floor, then get a fruit juice and empty it onto the floor............ and then you'll have a tyedye floor
2016-11-25 23:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋