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for being 28 yrs old, married nearly a year, and having absolutely no desire to have kids. Is this something you feel in time or do you know you want kids from childhood on up?? My husband probably would like to have them...but he's basically leaving it up to me, he says he will be happy either way. He's 36 so he feels he's on more of a time crunch then I do. Could it also have anything to do with the fact that I'm an only child and haven't been around kids much (other then formal education of course)? I just feel strange about it...everybody is talking about how to get pregnant and wanting babies - and I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum.

2006-07-25 09:31:15 · 9 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting Other - Pregnancy & Parenting

9 answers

I go back and forth...sometimes I want kids and sometimes I don't. I am 28 as well and have been married for a year and a half. I like to have nice things. I also want to be successful at my career. On the other hand sometimes I think I want kids. Right now I am happy with my dog! I guess when I am "meant" to have children it will happen!

2006-07-25 10:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by zoogle 2 · 3 0

I felt like you...then I got pregnant...had my baby (Abortion is not an option for me) and now he is one year old. Now I know the joys of having a child and being a mother, and it's amazing, simply and utterly amazing and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so happy this happened to me as an adult and not a young girl, it happened for all the right reasons and if I had waited until I felt I was "ready" I am not sure that time would have ever come.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with the way you are feeling, and please do not let others sway you either way. This is a decision between you and your husband...maybe even more it's a choice you in your heart has to make. Lord knows, enough children are brought into this world that aren't wanted or can't be cared for as they should, so please do not have a child just because others are pressuring you or are saying you should, or saying you are "weird" for not having the motherly instrict/desire. The motherly instinct/desire is something that grows, and flourishes with time.

And remember, should you choose to take the journey, and become a mother, Children are truly a gift, and should be treated as such.

2006-07-25 16:41:39 · answer #2 · answered by bjsmama 4 · 0 0

Make sure you understand yourself and your decision before you make it. I came from the other direction -- I wanted children, could only think about having children -- and suddenly once I got married at age 22, I realized that I was so NOT fit to be a mother!!

Luckily, I discussed it with my husband and made an informed decision to have my tubes tied. It was a very difficult decision for me, but I realized it was very necessary because I just did not have what most of society views as the normal nurturing motherly instinct for some reason, and had some emotional issues to work out.

That was over 30 years ago. I'm on my second husband (divorce had nothing to do with above decision) who is THRILLED I have no children, we've been married 18 years, and neither of us have any regrets about it. For me, it worked.

Hope whatever decision you finally make works for you, as well. Good luck.

2006-07-25 16:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 0 0

I've been married for 17 years and until 5 years ago I didn't want children either. It's a tough road to take when you get pressure from both sides of parents wanting grandchildren, but just do what is right for you. It is OK to not want children. I'll say it again, IT IS OK TO NOT WANT CHILDREN! You might not hear that too often. I don't know why I changed my mind, I just did. You may too later or you might not either way if you are happy in your life and don't want children try not to worry about it.
BTW his sperm is viable till he's 90, he shouldn't worry about it. The pregnancy won't take a toll on his body, lol.

2006-07-25 16:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by S G 2 · 0 0

It's not weird, especially in this day and age when children are not as highly valued as they used to be and women are encouraged to fulfill themselves outside the roles of wife and mother. You are just experiencing the results of your upbringing and societal attitudes.

If you really feel strongly that you don't want to be a mother then it would be best NOT to have a child. And your husband should not worry about his biological clock - Picasso fathered children well into his 70's!

2006-07-25 16:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0 0

No, there are some people who just dont want kids. Dont feel guilty about it. If your husband is not pressuring you, thats cool. Maybe he really doesnt want them either. Have you talked to him about your feeling though. You need to be honest w/ him and let him know how you feel.

2006-07-25 16:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Cantankerous One 2 · 0 0

You're not wierd, you just have different proirities. Many women wait til they're in their 30's to have kids, and some never do.

2006-07-25 16:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by Randi L 5 · 0 0

Yes your weird, I want 7

2006-07-25 16:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Very weird. If you care about your hubby, give him kids.

2006-07-25 16:49:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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