I was in a really bad divorce, almost lost my son to his father who can't affort to send him a nick le in a year or just a simple call, even missed his b-day. I got really depressed my ex kicked me and my son out into the streets. I was homeless. My parents sent me money to get here and let me live with them. Away from NY. Now I met someoneand we both are in the same situation, we want to get married and move back to NY its our home I don't fi in here and I think I need to make myown decisions. My family said they would dissown me if i moved back. Also this was my second divorce and the same thing happend in a way. I am finishing school for medical assisting and saving up money to move to NY do you think I am wrong. I need to know if I am.
2006-07-25 09:28:54 · 13 answers · asked by Elisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try to avoid moving from 1 bad situation to another. There's a tendency to believe that 2 people coming out of a bad situation would be better together but this is not necessarily true. It really depends on dealing with all the emotional baggage and forgiving those that hurt you before any future relationship has a real chance of lasting. That said, I would honor those who stood by you when you were down and out and either remain where you are or move elsewhere. Being truly objective is the hardest part of any of lifes problems but it can help to save you so much grief.
My apologies, I know this is not really what you wanted to hear but stick by those who stuck by you first, don't be owned by them but be loyal. Because it will pay dividends in the long term.
2006-07-25 09:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by Archer Christifori 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family helped you through the first pit fall, they won't disown you. Your choices are to live the way you want to live or answer to others for the rest of your life. That does not mean that you shouldn't take the family's concerns seriously. If they are unfounded, you will just have to gently tell them that you need to do this in order to be happy, that you love them very much, need them to understand and assure them (and mean it) that IF something detrimental happens, you will deal with it on your own and not expect them to pick up the pieces. If you and the new potential spouse have not been together very long, rethink the possibility that you and your ABSOLUTELY MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION-Your child, could conceivably be living in the street again if things go wrong.
2006-07-25 09:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, you are an adult and your decision bad or good are yours. You should however seek professional help,not because your crazy, but because you keep making the same bad moves. or marriges and there are issues. You need to consider your child, he is the innocent one being dragged along for the ride, so go visit let this other person set things up and then try to visit and get a feel for the situation before you involk your child. say 6 months to a year.
2006-07-25 09:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your parents are worried perhaps you are moving too fast.
You have a son to think about and he is your first priority.
I don't think they would really disown you, but they certainly don't want to see you rushing into anything too quickly again. If you are divorced twice, and now are a single Mom, that's not the greatest track record.
I think you need to finish your schooling so you have a career choice. If the guy is worth it he will wait or move closer to you.
Make him work for it!
2006-07-25 09:57:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I respect you for wanting to make your own decisions, I would think twice about going against your families' wishes on this. They are the ones who helped at the lowest part of your life. You may feel stronger and more mature now, but, they know you too and are probably seeing the bigger picture. Trust them, they are not trying to hurt you, they are trying to ensure you don't keep putting yourself in the same BAD situation again and again.
2006-07-25 09:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by drinkupmehearties 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
merely tell them what you merely wrote at here, you the two love one yet another, you have been jointly for 4yrs and you're making plans on getting engaged via the top of the year and the two one in all you experience that shifting in jointly is the proper ingredient to do. have confidence me, telling your mom and dad at 21 which you're shifting in inclusive of your boyfriend isn't as complicated as telling your mom and dad which you would be a single mom at 18. Been there, completed that.. you would be merely advantageous....
2016-11-02 23:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand your situation, but I don't think you should move back to a place that had a lot of heartache for you. Your parents sound like they're sensible. I don't think you should bring your son into a situation that could end up being painful for him, either. You need to make up your own mind, but I don't think your should move back.
2006-07-25 09:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. Do you want to let your parents down again? It sounds like you keep making the same mistakes, you need to ask yourself why? Getting into another relationship with someone who has just as many problems is double the trouble.
2006-07-25 09:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK YOUR PARENTS SHOULD KICK YOU OUT AND LET YOU FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN LIFE AND IF YOU FALL THEY SHOULD TRY TO MAKE YOU FIX IT YOURSELF!
YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF FIRST AND DO
NOT PUT THE PROBLEM ON YOU PARENTS SHOULDERS! IF YOU DO DECIDE TO GO ON YOUR OWN MAKE SURE YOU CAN STAND UP AND NOT COME BACK LOOKING FOR HELP FROM YOUR PARENTS.
YOU ARE A PARENT YOU SHOULD LEARN TO RAISE YOUR OWN CHILD BY YOURSELF AND NOT ASK FOR HELP FROM YOUR PARENTS.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
2006-07-25 09:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by +++++ SPOOK ++++ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound like you're about to make a bad decision,,, but it's yours to make.
2006-07-25 09:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by RacerX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋