I need some advice please?!?

Question

Ok this is where I'll start well, my bestfriend hated her father cause he has a serious drinking problem & he had the home in a domestic situation.& well yesterday her father went with some friends 2 chill at a beach, however he was drunk went into the water & unfortunately he drowned. Now dat her dad's gone I really dont know if my friend will be devastated with this cause she hated her dad soo much & well I havent seen her as yet 2 know what state she's in. I called her on the phone & well my friend doesn't like ppl 2 worry about her so she fakes something 2 pull dat she's ok. I want 2 go look for her, but my mom knew what goes on in the family, my mom said 2 leave her alone cause when my friend sees me she'll feel guilty cause of the things my friend told me about her dad eg. she hated him. I want 2 go by my friend because I think she needs me alot right now. But guys do you think that my mom's right or should I follow my instincts and go 2 my bestfriend whom is like my little sis

Answer 1

You should absolutely be there for your friend. She does need you and if she told you she hated her dad, you will be the one she needs to talk to about those feelings now that he is gone.

Answer 2

Sometimes we find ourselves in a lose lose situation. This one can be tricky. She told you exactly the way she felt. Since you know she may wish to not be confronted by you thus losing a friendship. Guilt makes us look at things through different eyes. Still on the other side of the issue, you want to be a good friend to her.There is an old saying blood is thicker than water. Go as a comfort zone. Do not bring any of the prior conversations up. People no matter what age say things they don't really mean in the heat of the moment. He was still her father, no matter what.

Answer 3

I think a phone call would be good, or a card. If you want to go by her house that's ok. She didn't hate her dad, just his actions. A lot of times people say things they don't mean b/c they can't change the situation and know it. Look, I'm sure your friend is devistated and she could use a friend....so go see her.

Answer 4

You have gotta go see her! Nothing will be as good as seeing her face to face, not a phone call or a letter, go see her. The feeling of guilt from what she said to you should go away as soos as she sees that you're still here for her. Plus if she knows that she didn't mean it, she wont feel that bad anyway. Be a friend and go she her ASAP!!!!

Answer 5

If I were you I'd find a beautiful card that expresses how you feel and send it to her, but on the bottom of the card I'd put " Remember, we love the people but hate the alcholism that destroys them"

Once she transfers the guilt she feels for "hating" her father, to the realization that her father died from a disease called alcoholism, she'll feel better with her own feelings towards his life.

Answer 6

I think you should go with your instinct and find your friend, be there for her. Losing a parent is hard on children, my children lost their father a year ago and it is still hard.
I know your friend may have said she hated him but she didnt mean it, she just hated what he was~ a drunk.

Now go find your friend, she needs you.

Answer 7

Go to your best friend and offer your support. If you feel like you're upsetting her or she needs to be alone, then you can leave after making sure she knows you're there for her whenever she wants to talk.

Answer 8

Just get ahold of her, tell her you'll be there for her no matter what, your always ready to help and listen, and when shes ready, she'll find you.

Answer 9

go round and see her I am sure she could do with a friend to talk to

Answer 10

follow your heart. no matter what your mom says. you have to be there for the moment she needs you the most. trust me.