What I mean is if the culture or location is a must have a car, go to bar, go to club, attend the local church/synague, etc must one FAKE doing it in order to socialize, or accept that in order to maintain dignity of my own identity i must remain recluse?
Perhaps it's that tale of needing to like oneself in order to get another to like, but does that mean i must stay alone if i don't like myself as well, if so, what's the point of trying?
Notes, I have been to groups, therapists, shrinks, etc and have had this whether living in rural, suburb, or large urban environment.)
2006-07-25 08:44:09 · 9 answers · asked by eagleland06 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well granted not much you can do w/o a car if you don't live where public transport/cabs are available...that's just logistics. BUT that aside, I seldom go to bars and clubs...I actually met many of the folks I socialize with on the bus going back and forth to to the office over the years...also I try to join free but fun things to do like book / reader groups at B&N (and we eventually formed our own group & meet twice a month alternating at each other's home). Make plans to meet at a local park on a sunny afternoon - everyone bring something to eat to share with others and have a picnic...Find someplace to volunteer for a cause near and dear to your heart - you'll meet people with things in common with yourself. There are lots of ways of to meet people in this world and forge new friendships and socialize other than in a bar or club. Just gotta do some thinking outside the box..good luck to you!!! (and never "fake" or sacrifice who you are - the best person you can put forward to anyone - is yourself)
2006-07-25 08:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by svmainus 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Where is the dignity in maintaining your own identity if it means you remain a recluse? How is there dignity in that? and why does having some precious own identity mean so much to you? Clearly your problems are severe, but I can see no way of an alternative solution for you. The solution is to fit in - to socialise, to get on with it and to show wider society you aren't 'disgusted' by them and that you are capable of fitting in. Society's never going to change to adapt to you. You have to adapt to society (and really, is it asking so much that you do some of those normal things? why??) as otherwise you'll have to remain a recluse. Face it, get on with it or don't bother other people with it.
2006-07-25 08:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you hold judgments against people for things you view as imperfect. No one person is going to meet all your criteria. Only you are exactly like you. The only way you are going to meet someone who has shared interests and values is to get yourself out there by going to activities that spark your interest and be prepared to meet people you don't particularly like-- we all do everyday. If it is not worth the time and effort to you, then being a recluse is more important to you than socializing. We spend our time, effort and money doing the things that mean the most to us. I do wonder if you have ruled out a social anxiety disorder because many with that disorder give many excuses for not going out of their comfort zone and meeting people. If not, it may be worth being evaluated and learning behavior modifications that can help. You will probably never be a social butterfly but may learn the skills needed to deal with social situations in order to meet people.
2006-07-25 09:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by norsktjej1964 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two very different suggestions: www.meetup.com and meditation.
The first is a site that has literally hundreds of different topics in cities across the country. How else could I have found a group of people who like to do yoga, or talk about taoism, or like to go out to eat specifically in ethnic restaurants? :)
As for meditation, it strengthens your connection to your heart, to your friends, to people you don't like, and to the world. It also helps the feeling of not connecting...it doesn't make it go away, but it helps you see the positive side.
Good luck. :)
2006-07-25 09:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, i admire staying removed from events and golf equipment and such. i don't desire any of that and that i'm in simple terms not sociable. i'm getting annoyed whilst all people tries pushing me to be greater sociable. in case you like the place you're, then there is not something incorrect with you. I as quickly as grew to become into very sociable, yet too lots of the incorrect human beings saved coming onto the scene and it soured my interest in it. Now I in simple terms desire to circulate to unpopulated areas.
2016-12-10 14:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all the people in prisons who have been reclused without a choice are rooting for ya,be yourself,try not to think to much,just go out and have some fun,be positive without letting people lead you by the nose,your the one they can't can't beat and you know it
2006-07-25 08:56:34 · answer #6 · answered by dale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prozac
2006-07-25 08:47:23 · answer #7 · answered by The Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you want, eventually you will meet someone who is doing the samething as you unless it is being home alone. and if that is what you want then run with it.
2006-07-25 09:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by Ben 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the herb man, the herb is the way
2006-07-25 08:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋