How can the recluse become connected socially if so disgusted with the norms of how to socialize?

Question

What I mean is if the culture or location is a must have a car, go to bar, go to club, attend the local church/synague, etc must one FAKE doing it in order to socialize, or accept that in order to maintain dignity of my own identity i must remain recluse?

Perhaps it's that tale of needing to like oneself in order to get another to like, but does that mean i must stay alone if i don't like myself as well, if so, what's the point of trying?

Notes, I have been to groups, therapists, shrinks, etc and have had this whether living in rural, suburb, or large urban environment.)

Answer 1

Pick the parts of the culture that you can cope with the best, and start there.
You can start some conversations in places that don't put so much pressure on you to "perform".
It sounds like you are a little lonely, and you might be able to find some people who aren't that different from yourself.

Answer 2

Look, I like staying away from parties and clubs and such. I don't need any of that and I am just not sociable. I get annoyed when anyone tries pushing me to be more sociable. If you like where you are, then there's nothing wrong with you. I once was very sociable, but too many of the wrong people kept coming onto the scene and it soured my interest in it. Now I simply prefer to go to unpopulated areas.

Answer 3

Who fakes going to a bar?

I say, have a few drinks, don't drive, of course - loosen up, and forget anything any shrink or group ever told you.

People is just people. We all dumb. Don't matter.

And tell jokes. People love jokes!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Why do anything you arent comfortable doing?

Answer 5

either suck it up, or don't worry about it. there's your two options.