If a friend tells me that she wants to kill herself is it wrong for me to suggest that she do this?

Question

I told her that it would be better if she just spent all her time doing drugs and having sex (you know, "fun" things) and wasted her life that way instead of actually killing herself... my rationale being that although she may have just been trying to get attention, getting wasted and having a one night stand is something that you can get over and move past; suicide isn't.

I kind of regret saying it so seriously... but there was a certain level of truth that I think she saw when I said it - that her life really isn't THAT bad and that there are a lot of "fun" things out there left to do.. what do you think?

oh damn how can you say I am her enemy? She was gonna kill herself and I had a totally logical and foolproof reason for her to never do such a thing...

Answer 1

you are correct. If you are going to waste your life it is better to do it in tiny increments. You can always stop druggin' and fu@kin' but you can never unkill yourself

Answer 2

Yes, it is horribly wrong for you to suggest such things! There are many ways to "defile the temple" that don't kill a person. Things done with an air of arrogance or irresponsibility are at the top of the list, so I think you need to rethink what you said to your friend and be a bit more supportive in a more positive manner. You're right when you say suicide isn't something you can get over, but you never know what's on a person's mind when they speak of suicide.

Answer 3

I understand what your aim was and it seems to me you realise that you went about it the wrong way.
OK so you didn't give her the greatest advise, don't be discouraged by that.Your heart was in the right place!
It sounds like she may well need some professional help so encourage her to speak to a counsellor,parent or trusted adult friend.Aside from that just let her know that you are there for her.
often when a person gets to that point whether it is just to get attention or not ,they need to talk about issues that are stressing ,frustrating or depressing them and need to get those things off their chest. Life throws so many things at us good and bad.
Just listening without any advise could be just what your friend needs.
I hope that helped!

Answer 4

Both you and your friend should each see a counselor.
Separately.
I think I've read that most people who attempt suicide first "cry for help". If your friend was joking, then maybe suggest it's not a joking matter and now you will be watching her closely - that might freak her out enough to joke more appropriately.
If your friend was half-serious and wants to know that her life matters, then I don't think you helped. Do you?
If your friend was completely serious, then do you think you could have presented her with positive alternatives to (a) death or (b)self-destructive behaviour? Please contact your friend immediately and let her know that SHE is valuable, YOU were wrong to answer the way you did and that you hope that if she's ever close to being serious that you will go with her to get help, or support her in her decision to get help.
I've had a friend that was murdered - still don't know why, but I think it would be harder for me to accept that someone despaired enough to take their own life. It would be impossible for me to accept that they reached out to me and I did nothing.

You've done a lot more than nothing, hopefully no permanent damage. Go find your friend NOW, please?

Answer 5

Suicide is wrong. It would have been better to suggest she get counseling. I don't know that doing drugs and having sex is going to help her situation. There is a high probability that she will get infected with some horrible disease and pass it on to other people. I don't think I'd classify that as "fun". But hey, people make their own choices. The should be prepared to deal with the consequences.

Answer 6

The problem with your suggestion is it won't work. The reason people want to kill themselves is because they do not like some part of their life. If she really cared about someone, then telling her to go have sex with someone else would just make her problem worse.

You may have had good and pure motives, but what your Friend needs is someone trained to help her. Be careful! Tell your friend how much she means to you, and suggest she goes with you to talk with someone (maybe a pastor).

Answer 7

Telling her to waste her life doing drugs and having sex is not the best thing that you should have told her. Instead, you should have supported her her through the tough time that she was going through. You could have also referred to a mental health facility to help her get over her insecurities.

Answer 8

If you stopped her from committing suicide, that is better than nothing. But you obviously don't have the knowledge to handle her situation. You need to call a mental health center and have her talk to a professional that can really help her.

People who say they want to kill themselves may eventually do it because they can actually convince themselves that
that is the best answer to their problems.

If she doesn't want to seek professional help on her own, tell a school counselor and her parents.

Her life may be depending on your help. Good luck.

Answer 9

Yes its wrong, what if it was your child and his or her friend in your shoes. Drepession, anger, the lack of self-esteem can drive a person to act or to think this way. Jesus died so that we might have life and have it more abundantly so Yes its wrong. pray for her console her, encourage her, she needs you . I will pray for you guys that shes comes around let her know that she is loved very much, email me back if you desire any type advice
be blessed

Answer 10

SOME FRIEND you are!, you should have never said that. You have probably done a lot of damage to your friend after all she trusted you and you tell her that?? You should have never done that. I bet if she did kill herself you would feel guilty because you know that u also cheered her on in taking her life. some friend you are.

Answer 11

You probably should have sent her to a psychologist or someone who is capable of helping her. Drugs and sex is just going to ruin her life even more. Instead of helping her, you made things worse.