Ive been with my sons dad for almost 6 yrs. My son is 2 1/2. I am about 38 weeks along with our second child.Ive tried to stay with him ( my husband) we lived together for like 3 yrs alright then things really started getting bad, he couldnt keep a job, started having raging tantrums, breaking things, throwing me around if i spoke up, selling drugs, hanging out in the "hood". stealing and staying out all night. So I moved out and in with my parents , i work i pay my own way I justcannot live with him. He stays w/somefriendsright now but they are all getting kicked out in a month. I go visit him so our son can see him but he justtakes off on his "runs " allthe time , so last time i justleft .he says im always leaving him and abandoning him. I thought he was starting to change , but now im finding other womens #s i know of who are only known for one thing,( supposed clients of his) he refuses to stop talking to them ,tells me hes making money and im acting up..im soo lost...
2006-07-25 08:32:22 · 11 answers · asked by thisreallymylife? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Honey, you know what you need to do.. you just need to admit it to yourself... Leave and stay gone.... do you want to risk loosing your children to try and fix things with him? If they do a bust on him and your there with the kids... kids go to foster care.. you get arrested too darlin...... Dont go back, find out about all the government assistance you can get your hands on.. if you need to put out a restraining order... YOU are the only protection for those kids!! YOU and Only YOU!!! good luck and be safe
2006-07-25 08:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by kutskova29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not lost-- you sound very strong and are doing the right thing: Moving in with your parents to provide a family / home for your son and soon-to-be baby even though it must be hard. It is so honorable for you to put your kids' needs before yours and that is probably why you feel you need to take your son to his father,
Truth is, that man is not your son's father in the sense that he is doing the honorable things to raise his son and serve as a good example. He may have impregnated you and in that way is the "father" but when it came to actually acting like a parent he is just not there.
So you know what you need to do -- you need to cut all ties with this guy who is doing everything wrong; even if he says he is getting better just a few of the things you describe are awful enough. But be smart and make this legal -- go to court to have all parental rights terminated so that this pathetic man cannot have access to your children.
Forget about your broken heart, diasappointment, embarassment or difficulties you will now face as a single mom -- none of these negative thoughts will serve you and your kids now. Just keep your focus on what your children need, and work hard to make it happen -- give them a decent, happy, loving life and take all of the love and joy that they will bring you. And hug your parents for helping you through this, thank them for being great parents and sticking by you to help give their grandchildren a good life.
This is your family now, completely forget the guy that you wasted time with -- do not waste time and effort on him any more. big hug :)
2006-07-25 09:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by Finnale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl... my best advise for you is to get a divorce and try to get him to give up his rights...if he says that he will try to get your son from you dont worry... he couldnt... he has no job(recognized by the state) and he has no living arrangements and sells drugs!!! Try to get ahold of a layer and see what all you can do in your state about your situation but you son donent need to be around someones whos going to possibly hurt him or his pregnant mother!!! Go find you an actual man that will take care of you and your children....
2006-07-25 08:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay sweetheart you could have answered that yourself with the information you gave me. this man is useless and i know it is hard because he is the father of your children but if you are really looking out for the best interest of your children you need to tell him that you are nto going to let him see his children unless he makes an effort to come ot where you are to visit. If he doesn't ever show you will know that he really doesn't care for your children. If he does make an effort to visit with his children you need to talk to him and tell him that he has to straiting up his act if he wants alone time with his kid and if he wants them to come to where he is staying. Once you fix the issues with the kid then you can work on your relationship with him. Honey don't worry about losing him as you man there are plenty out there you need to be worried about his relationship with his children.
2006-07-25 08:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by DixieDarlin939 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the help and emotional support of your parents and friends, you can leave this man and make a new start for yourself. It won't be easy but you will be a wonderful role model for your children, who need to always feel safe and loved. Best wishes to you!
2006-07-25 08:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you back make him work for it and if you do stay apart from him make him take you to court to see the childern you of your kids dont need that in your lives babys need happiness and love not hate and yelling put your kids needes first not his and be careful when around him and please you all your safty stay away from him
2006-07-25 08:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you need to let him live his own life right now and deal with his own mistakes. you have a child and one on the way to think about, you dont need your children growing up with a drug dealing father. live your life for you and your children and stop worring about him... he is a big boy and will find his way without you. be careful and good luck
2006-07-29 09:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by sassy_girl200501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no question to this
you need to drop the couche bag and let him sink or swim all on his lonesome. ignore the hurt and pain because right now your children are of the utmost importance...
he's a grown *** man, if he wants to play games then let him. look after those babies and yourself...if he finds the three of you important enough he will contact you...
2006-07-25 08:37:17 · answer #8 · answered by brandylyn_kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to remove yourself from him and that situation. Its not good for you or your children. Tell him, if he wants anything to do with you or the kids he needs to shape up and set a good example.
2006-07-25 08:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by Filiz H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your kid and run....I went thru the same thing,thank god i was in highschool so i learnt at an early stage. GET RID OF HIM NOW!!!!
2006-07-25 08:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋