Alright, I know there are a ton of these already... but I have tried all of the sugestions... and I'm not feeling any better! My BF Watches porn. I know, a lot of people watch porn. I just can't stand the idea that he is looking at other naked women all of the time. Now, Id understand if he wansnt having sex or something, but we have sex at LEAST twice a day. What can I do to get over how strongly I feel against porn... or get him to stop looking at it. I dont care which one... just as long as it stops hurting me! I have tried watching a few with him... which wasnt too bad, but that was because he was looking mostly at ME. But whenever Im not around I am worried about him looking at other girls. I have even offed to make as many of our own for him to watch as he wants.. however he wants it, but he still watches other porn. Any suggestions on what I can do to deal with it, or to help him to stop?
2006-07-25 08:25:54 · 51 answers · asked by mydirtylittleself 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Alright,
1. I would be concerned about his constant need to watch porn. If I had a girlfriend who wanted to watch porn twice a day, I would seriously have to wonder if there was some need I was not fulfilling. How is your sex life? Do you feel like he is satisfied otherwise? Does he seem to be happy with you?
2. I would also be concerned about you not being ok with it. Remember, you could score a lot of cool girlfriend points for letting him watch porn all he wants. Right now, it sounds like you're just insecure in general, and this just justifies your insecurity in your mind.
The real question is: is the relationship healthy, leaving the porn out of it? If it isn't, making him stop watching the porn isn't going to fix it; it will just put you in a negative light. If it is healthy, there isn't anything to worry about.
So bottom line: don't think about the porn itself; rather think about what it signifies for your relationship. Is he watching it because he isn't happy with you, or does he just dig porn?
2006-07-25 08:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-24 23:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, take a nice deep breath and...relax! Guys are super-visual critters, and just because he's looking at other naked women doesn't mean he's not thinking about you. However, you do make him sound like he looks at porn more often than not, in which case he's got a serious addiction and you need to get him help. Bravo for expanding your horizons and watching a little "skinema" with your man. If you're having sex twice a day and he spends more time looking at you than the girls on the tv screen then what are you worrying about. You're a Sex Goddess! Enjoy the title.
My other suggestion is have you gone out and bought yourself a Playgirl, a steamy novel, and a sex toy? If you enjoy looking at other men, then perhaps you'll see why he likes to look at other women. Variety is the spice of life, and we all need some visual variety. Trust me, my "spank bank" is overflowing and I'm still collecting more! Some people just like porn, and some don't. If you can't get over it and he won't stop, then perhaps there are some things in your relationship that you need to rethink. Mainly, if you two are as compatible as you'd like to be. Sexually, it's clear you two are a great match in the bedroom, but the porn issue needs to be dealt with one way or another, or it's going to be the basis for a breakup. Good luck!
2006-07-25 08:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by bibliophile_1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta understand that porn is not the better thing, it is just entertainment. Guys would like to watch that whether or not they are having sex. Unless it is instead of you, you really need to get over this. Don't be so insecure and possessive. Like you don't EVER look at other men. He's not shopping for a different model, but he may be looking at what you won't do with him. If he can't get it in bed, why not watch it and whack off. Get more interesting than porn and he will not want to look at it so often.
2006-07-25 08:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Jester 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he's going to have his pleasure by watching other women then you don't want to be doing the same job twice a day. In other words, no more sex until it stops. Nobody needs to even have their boyfriend watching porn. All this does is help him compare YOU to other women. Explain to him that this makes you uncomfortable, and tell him that if it doesn't stop you're going to have to pull the plug. You may also want to try taking away ALL of his porn, just so that if he does agree to stop watching it you know for sure that he doesn't have anything to tempt him. Good luck hun!
2006-07-25 08:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship works two ways: yours and his...
You have to sacrafice/accept certain things in a relationship in order to make it work. I'm sure there are things about you that he just accepts cause you love each other and want to make things work. You can't try to 'control' anything about him/his past that doesn't affect you personally. It's an insecurity, you admit that, so just know that he loves you, that he just enjoys watching his movies, and go on with your life. If you feel in your heart he's not only into you, that he's cheating, or whatever, then leave, but don't make the both of you miserable due to your jealous/insecure feelings. It will ruin any relationship you're ever in if you try to control what the other is doing. He's not a child, and a man doesn't like to be treated as such. It's hard, I know...but if you want things to work, you have to let it go. I've went through this before and the best thing to do is just accept it. If it's against your morals (which it obviously isn't if you're making movies too), you'll just have to continue your search for the "perfect man." You'll never succeed, cause no matter how happy a relationship is, insecurities will only destroy you. I look at it this way, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...if he's checking girls out, you check 'em out too, state both of your opinions on her, and move on, but this way, it's all out in the open and you don't have to worry so much cause you'll both be being honest with yourselves and each other...Good luck!
2006-07-25 08:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be hard to do but you need to sit down with him and tell him how much it hurts you. You need to tell him your fears that he is looking at other girls, and that you want to be his one and only. That's the only way he'll really know how you feel. If he loves you he'll stop. He may be addicted to porn which makes it a bit tougher to stop. If he has videos or magazines those can be thrown away. The internet is always a temptation for someone with a porn addiction so he'll have to be aware of that and avoid the potential high risk situation he may find himself in when he is on the internet.
2006-07-25 08:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by Rex J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen guys will forever watch porn. It's just a guy thing and you can't change it. They will ALWAYS watch it until they can't get up anymore and even then they'll still watch.
It something that you're gonna have to learn to except about guys...you can't change that and don't even try. They'll just do it behind your back at least he's up front and honest with you. That's a good thing....he's willing to tell you private stuff like watching porn.
As for making your own....that's cool, but don't degrade yourself by saying he can do whatever he wants...especially if it's something that make you uncomfortable.
You just have to learn to except the way guys are......that's all. The will look at other chicks, but that doesn't mean they'll cheat.
2006-07-25 08:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a heck of a girlfriend! If you are willing to have sex when this guy wants, he really shouldn't have to go around looking at porn. That just isn't right. I'd tell you to look for another boyfriend, but that's something you gotta decide for yourself. If your boyfriend is making you feel like you're playing second fiddle, then something is definitely messed up. If he is really into you, then you should be the focal point of his life, especially in regards to sex. Yeah baby!
2006-07-25 08:31:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the key here is for you to try to change your perspective. Men like variety. And what is the harm to you if he watches porn where he has zero chance of ever hooking up with those girls and still gets busy with you 2 times a day? I think you should just relax a little and know that he's not cheating.
2006-07-25 08:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋