I dont want kids because they will be just like me. Do you think this is just a phase?

Question

Im pretty, popular, and VERY outgoing. Every one thinks I am this perfect angel but what they dont see is me drinking, sneaking out of the house and having sex. I am terrified that at the rate im going, im going to have kids and I sure as hell dont want them to do the same things I am.

Answer 1

No, I think it's very responsible of you to not give in to the majority. I feel the same way. I hate the way I was raised and I refuse to give my parents grandchildren that they can corrupt and brainwash. I get really desparate I'll adopt when they are gone.

Answer 2

It is a phase, in my opinion. "Because they will be just like me" says that said person isn't ready for children. The absolute of possibly not being ready for children may or may not change. "Because they will be just like me" was an excuse I used to justify why I don't want children up until I realized, I'm really not that bad of a person and I shouldn't allow my insecurities about myself to influence whether or not I have children. Wake up call, hello there maturity!

Now, if the topic comes up between my girlfriends and myself, I simply say that I don't feel I'm ready for children at this point in my life. If asked why, I simply give facts. I don't have enough savings to have a child. I don't have my own house. I don't make enough money to comfortably support a child. I'm not married. I don't want to give up being able to go out on the weekends, I don't want to give up getting a full 8 hours of sleep yet. It may or may not change, but I changed my tune from generic reasons to factual reasons. Based in maturity, I probably would be a responsible mother if the time ever came, since I can see why I shouldn't have children now and I actively practice prevention to keep from bringing a child into the world under less than ideal circumstances. And to be honest, childbirth terrifies me. Passing a watermelon through an area hardly the size of a cucumber puts me off.

It could be that the people are saying this for the above reasons, but it seems like a good enough catch all phrase to sum it up in short order. Or they could be saying it because they simply feel it's none of anyone elses business why they don't want children. I can't tell you what is going through anyone elses mind when they say it, since I'm only me ;)

Answer 3

I don't want kids because of.. well.. not that reason but just because of the whole idea of having children and then being responsible for their outcome. Or maybe it is the lack of control I feel I really have over their lives. It isn't that i think I'd be bad at raising a kid.

Anyhow, going on that, I've felt that way for a while and it is no phase. People thought I'd want kids later, but you don't grow out of everything...

Answer 4

If you're worried about your children being just like you, you're going to have to figure out a different way to raise them. For example, I was a TOTALLY out of control teenager, but it was because my mom was very lax on discipline. I would misbehave, and she would punish me by grounding me to the house. So, I would wait until she went to bed and sneak out of my window. That taught me that when I have kids, I will have to install a security system to prevent them from sneaking out. I got into the most trouble when I snuck out of the house. If I were unable to sneak out, I wouldn't have gotten in to so much trouble or met all the bad influences that I did hanging out at peoples houses in the middle of the night. Most likely I wouldn't have become a borderline alcoholic or drug user, which made me even more out of control.
This is just one of a million examples I could give you. If you don't want your kids to be like you ( I'm assuming you're worried about this because of all the trouble you caused your own mother ) then you need to examine every aspect of your life and how you were raised, and figure out how to change it. Plus, if your husband was a very mellow child who always listened and never got into trouble, that could change your children's personality as well. It's not a guarantee, but remember that your personality isn't the only one your children will inherit.

Answer 5

Yes, it is a phase, but PLEASE, Please don't have children until you love yourself. If you don't like yourself, you are not good parent material, or good marriage material, either.
Your children will be, act, look, and fail similarly as you have, and you need to be able to help them, not attack them. Often, we don't like things in other people that we don't like in ourselves. Children deserve uncondtional love, and so do you!
Get a good education so you can take care of yourself and any children you do have. Don't stop going to school till you at least have a Bachelor's degree, so you won't ever have to put up with *&^ t to be able to provide for your children.
READ a lot, so you will understand what you believe and what you want to pass on to your kids.Pick a really good husband, so your kids will have a stable life. Good luck.

Answer 6

The first step is changing your ILL ways. Raise your children when or if you have them with the respect and love they deserve. Remember those future children will only be here due to an act that you did to give them life. If you feel you cannot be a mature responsible adult then don't bring children in that will only suffer from your immaturity.

Answer 7

Yes. It's Phase 5 - Verb Vendor. Great groove.

Answer 8

Yes, - it's just a phase..

After all, when you're older, - you'll find that the alien monster that springs forth out of you innards is a a totally separate individual, with quirks and it's own way of thinking.

Answer 9

Maybe or maybe not. Not everyone has to have kids, or wants to have kids. It's not required, not everyone has a urge to be a mother, like me, I have absolutly no urge to have kids, ever, and I really never had. I think the people that have children should really want them, and not have them because they are pressured by society to.

Answer 10

Could be a phase but only you really know! I applaud people like you who admit they dont want kids. Its okay if you dont want them,it doesnt make you a bad person!!!!