So here's the deal. My gf of 2 years works weekends in the hamptons, her ex from 3 yrs ago lives around there. Last summer she said she talked to him as a friend until a drunkin call to her one night. So this year I was suspicious & have been checking her phone calls on her online invoices. (I used to pay for her phone bills.) Their has been several calls (incoming & outgoing), mostly 3-5 minutes long and one 3 hours long this summer. Sometimes she'll call me and if I dont pick up she'll call him. Sometimes she calls him after talking to me for an hour.
How do I approach her and tell her i KNOW she is talking to him? I cant say "i checked ur phone bill." After last month's bill I asked her & she said no. I told her I didnt belive her and told her that, both her and I know her ex's intentions, I would be very hurt and upset if she still spoke to him.
I dont think shes hanging out w/ him cuz she babysits for 15 hrs & I am sure of her love for me.
How do I make her know I know?
2006-07-25 07:48:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anthony 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In all other instances I do trust her. But this i dont like. Like i said, he expressed last year that his intentions were not to be friends and that he still liked her. This is not someone she should be talking to.
2006-07-25 07:59:07 · update #1
I am aware that is bad and disrespectful that i check her calls, but i am cursed with having her password. Its weird, i know its wrong but i HAVE to do it. MOST PEOPLE WOULD DO THE SAME THING IN MY SITUATION.
The question is, how do i solve this without ruining the relationship by her knowing I check her calls? I already told her i thought she did and it would hurt me if she did. She made a 3 hour call the week after.
2006-07-25 08:07:04 · update #2
And to top it off, her brother just got into a car accident which winded up killing his girlfriend, so i cant bring it up to her now. And its just going to have to eat away at my insides for little bit more
2006-07-25 08:19:12 · update #3
Well, one thing by checking the cell phone bill, you are already sending the sign that you don't trust her. What happen to a thing call privacy. If she's going to leave you, she will leave. You don't have to track her phone calls. You have already told her how you feel about the situation, so leave it at that. Besides what's wrong with just talking. Insecurity is not an attractive trait on a man. You know she loves you, let that be enough for now. Relax and enjoy the times that you two get to spend together. Sometimes if you just relax and have a good time with her, just maybe she will forget about oh what's his name.
2006-07-25 07:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all she's aware of you having doubts of her keeping in touch with her ex. having this in mind, she wont be surprised if you looked through her bill? Say the truth,.. and make sure to point it out that she would of done the same if she was on your shoes. They probobly flirting around. and its totally wrong to do specially for keeping it from you. this only makes me wonder if she's keeping other things from you? theres a reason why shes not being honest. you should talk to her and tell her this is not what you want... shes disrespecting you. she wouldnt like you to do the same? find out what shes up too... and go from there you can find someone that will be there for you and want to spend all there time with you and not on the phone with an ex. be careful and dont be afraid to speak your mind!
much luck to you.!
2006-07-25 07:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by CALI GIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about looking Bad when she is the one doing something wrong. You should ask her again, but have the invoices on you at the time. If she lies again...show them to her and confront her. If she really loves you , she wouldn't be talking to her EX.
Don't let her turn the tables on you either by saying you invaded her privacy. If she didn't give you any reason to, you wouldn't have been looking in the first place.
EX's Are called just that because they are supposed to EXIT you life. Not be stand-bys for when your Man can't talk.
You sound like you really love her, I hope it works out...but if not then it wasn't meant to be. Good-Luck
2006-07-25 07:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by XXSEXY66XX 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been through the same thing... i woud just ask her is there anything she would like to tell you. does she think it would be ok if you talked to one of your ex's just say things to spark a thought that you may know. If she doesnt fall for it and if it bothers you that much just tell her you had a feeling and you were right and she shouldnt be talking to her ex. BUT on the other hand if you have not mad eit clear you dont like her doing this then you have to start there first.
2006-07-25 08:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Capricorn82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOW SURE ARE YOU THAT THESE NUMBERS ARE HER EX BF. IF YOU ARE SURE OF HER LOVE FOR YOU THEN YOU SHOULD NOT BE CHECKING WHO SHE CALLS. DONT MENTION IT TO HER. IT MAKES YOU LOOK BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DON'T TRUST HER. MY ONLY ADVICE TO YOU IS STOP CHECKING HER CALLS BECAUSE IN THE END YOU ONLY HURT YOURSELF WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN THE TOILET YOU ALWAYS COME UP WITH SOME S*H*I*T.
2006-07-25 07:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
put the phone bill under her pillow dude lol
2006-07-25 07:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by Adra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋