I've just graduated from highschool and had a bf since grade 8. But he moved to study abroad since he was in grade 10, after that we didn't meet each other except for some emails or offlines he sent me. Though, we were still a couple.
Anyway, recently, he always said that he wanted us to be "friends", so, I asked him if he had got another girl in the country he is living, he said 'no'. he no longer share his things with me as normal. Is it the hint to show me that I should say good-bye to him? Is the sentence "outta sight, outta mind' actually true? Should I believe in him?
2006-07-25 07:33:57 · 19 answers · asked by suzielu 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Man! His friend said to me that he has got another gf, but he didn't tell me about that. Should I ask to his face if he still wants to get on with me? I'm very afraid, cuz it would be hurtful if he refused me. what should I do now? Cuz Ive been waiting for him for 3 years. It couldn't be end up like this!
2006-07-25 07:38:13 · update #1
what is the best way to ask him to put a stop to this relationship? Cuz he didn't even tell me that he has another gf neither did he mention about breaking up with me! i don't wanna be in an unstable relationship. Should I be the one to say goodbye first?
2006-07-25 07:55:14 · update #2
You know this is a tough call that only YOU can make!
As you've stated you guys have been together for 4+ years, and if he has been out of the country for at least 2 of those years and you haven't seen him at all in any of that time. You say things are getting more and more distant, he is sharing less & less with you. Even more than that he has began to make reference to the fact that you two should be "Friends".
I think it is time for you to perhaps make a decision as to where you want to see yourself, You've been there and done the local relationship thing, You also tried the Long Distance relationship thing and if you are finding yourself more confused about the relationship than you are Happy about it. You need to restore your joy!
Absence can only make the heart grow fonder if your actually missing the person, when your Not in state of missing the individual is when it becomes 'Outta sight, Outta Mind".
If you love him, Friendship will be hard, but it can't be any harder than what your currently going through and at least as friends there is a possibility and much more freedom to get more into you and what you really want in a companion. And go for Exactly That!
They say if you love something, You’ve got to let it go
And if it comes back, Then it means so much more
But if it never does, At least you will know
That it was something you had to go through To grow!!
Be Strong Little mama, You can do this! Just Decide what is Best for You!!
2006-07-25 07:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Just My Thoughts... 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a boyfriend in the 8th grade that I was in LOVE with. Then my parents moved me away to New England from the south for my father's work. Although it was only for 1/2 a year, it felt like an eternity. We both promised to be true to each other, but I heard through the grapevine he had multiple girlfriends while I was away. Finally, he sent the 'break up' letter.
The next year, again I was wisked away up north, but this time, no boyfriend to worry about. However, while there I met a popular Senior football player and we fell in love. My parents were very very strict, and wouldn't allow dating. However, when they met him on Thanksgiving Day on a surprise visit to our house, they fell in love with him as well. Very smart, good looking, gentleman all the way. I was allowed to go to his house and watch movies w/the fam, etc. It was great. Finally, someone my parents approved of that I could have a meaningful relationship with.
Then, it was time to move back home. We were devistated, and promised to call/write as often as possible. He sent me care packages with gifts, and promised to come down to see me when he could. Then, as the months went by, I didn't hear from him as often. Next thing you know, we both realized that long distance relationships just don't plain work in all cases. We wished each other well and moved on. I still think of him from time to time and wonder 'what if'.
In your case, I imagine your boyfriend hasn't been faithful to you in quite some time. How easy for him. You'd never be any the wiser. He may have lied to you to spare your feelings and make himself look good, especially if it's been going on for a while.
Go forward with your life, and don't look back. Outta sight, outta mind is true, but it takes a long time for it to work when you've got nothing else to occupy your mind. Go out with friends and do things together. Shop, party, dance, find a hobby. Don't stay in the 'what if' stage waiting on a guy you'll never be with, when there's plenty of fish in the sea who are more worthy of your attention and devotion.
Best of luck!
2006-07-25 07:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by The Older Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to move on. Besides the fact the long distance relationships don't work, you'll also find that as you both grow older, you will turn into different people and may not be as compatible as you thought you were in grade school. You're young. Enjoy your youth w/out being tied down.
2006-07-25 07:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Peanuts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with getting attached to someone at a young age is that one or both of you grows up and moves on. Your boyfriend has his own life, one that does not appear to include you. You just need to accept that, and try to figure you what YOU want to do with your own life. It may be hard to see at this age, but you will meet other people/boys. And one day you may look back and say, what did I ever see in HIM?
2006-07-25 07:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably has moved on, whether that involves another person or not. You have spent enough of your life attached to this guy, and after 2 years abroad, who knows how much he could have changed. I would take the hint and move on. Sorry.
2006-07-25 07:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance relationships r very hard on the heart.
the best relationships start as friends.
dont stress it if u were meant to be together u will.
i would just hang out with my friends and if you find someone special to be there great.
this dont mean he has a new gf.
nor do u have a new bf.
just new friends and you cant have too many of them.
2006-07-25 07:41:43 · answer #6 · answered by oldschool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if you are parting ways. I don't believe that long distance relationships can work because I've never seen it work. I hope for your sake, I'm wrong. If he wants to be "friends" then I would say that's a sure sign he wants to break it off. I'm sorry.
2006-07-25 07:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by sahm2boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being apart often makes a guy feel lonely, and depressed. He is probably protecting himself from the hurt of being apart. Guys hurt too ya know, they just show it differently. If he acts distant, he probably doesn't want to get close with you again because of how much it hurts him inside.
2006-07-25 07:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by Steve M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop with all the drama and figure out a way to let him and the people he is friends/gf-bf with alone! Good Luck.
2006-07-25 10:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by PatricksMom* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will come into your life for a season, a reason or for a lifetime. You have to understand life is about experiences. You can't live for no one but you, so live. See other people for a while and enjoy life. If it was meant to be it will.
2006-07-25 07:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by mrpuffandstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋