my ex and i have a history together. we were friends for a bout a year before we got together, he was my everything. my bestfriend and all. well anyway to make a long story short, we hooked up and were together for a total of 2 years. we broke up about 3 months ago, and i am finding it so hard to get over him. i mean there's days when i do fine, when i don't need him, and i hold up so well. but then there's days when i cry a river, like reality has hit that i am alone and without him. i mean im talking to a new guy. but im not into him like i was my ex. there's plenty of guys who try, but i dont want noone but him. my ex cheated on me with 2 girls, and im so heart broken and hurt over it that i feel as though i dont need a man like that. but i love him so much. and even though he apologized, im so stubborn in my ways that i find it so hard to forgive him. i tried but its so hard. i know i need to for myself but truth is, im stuck. what do i do????????
2006-07-25 06:45:56 · 13 answers · asked by Sunshine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I separate the person from who they are, i.e. a body part, that person has an incredible bottom, or they are hot, I am separating the person from who they are to how they appear/look. I am also idealizing who they are based on the objectification of their body, i.e., because that person is hot, I would like to get to know them, or somehow they are appealing emotionally mentally because they are hot. As I am objectifying, lust shows itself in fantasy. What would I like, what would I like to do with and to them. So I would say when the idealized picture of this person is replaced with reality, IE., who they really are. You can accept and be willing to see past faults, issues, problems because Love carries no jealousy, love doesn't judge, love don't do anything for self gratitude, love gives unconditionally, love is trust, love is respect, love is truth!
2006-07-26 20:26:20 · answer #1 · answered by Wolfie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I think everyone deserves a second chance. Yes, I know that sometimes too many things will happen and two people can never really be happy together. But, the most important thing is your feelings for one another. Feelings are hard to justify. Love is hard to define. As time goes on, you will get better at it. But right now, you need to do some soul searching. If you are willing and ready to forgive and your boyfriend is willing and ready to change his ways then the two of you still have a chance.
If not, then it is time to move on. I assume the both of you are still young. In my younger days I had a problem with remaining faithful to my partner. But no matter what happens, sex is only sex. Your feelings for someone are something much more important. Try to forgive at the very least even if you dont wish to stay together. After you forgive then you can think about your future together or apart.
2006-07-25 07:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by NeverLoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation right now, and my boyfriend and I were friends for a year before we started dating. Things were so great for a long time then, BAM. We just broke up a couple of weeks ago. We had started bickering too much and he wasn't treating me like I wanted to be treated, so I felt like I could do better without him. I miss him so much, but I don't miss the way he was treating me. He was being so inconsiderate and hateful all the time! It is so hard, but I keep telling myself to take my own advice- if he isn't treating you right, there is someone else who will. Also, he never cheated on me. I don't think I could ever trust someone again who did. And your BF didn't just do it once, he did it twice. If you think you can trust him and you think he will not cheat again, then you two need to talk about getting back together. They say, once a cheater always a cheater, but people do change.
2006-07-25 06:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by roxxygrrl13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like love to me! serious love. but it's useless when one love the other so much, and the other just doesn't take it as seriously.
Forgive and Forget, it sounds so simple but, in reality It's not, at all. he cheated on you twice, that's hard to forgive. just give yourself time to forget the pain, then once you've calmed down ask yourself if you really want to forgive him, and what do you want to do about it. Time is the best medicine for the heart, only time will ease your pain and help you move on. Of course it'll seem like forever, but the day will come when you'll be able to to make a decision to move on, or get back with him. the choice is yours. for now, try to stay away from him, his image is only going to worsen the pain.
good luck
2006-07-25 06:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do don't let that apology get to you because in reality he cheated on you twice so he's not that sorry. You obviously did love him and he broke your heart. that's really hard to deal with and sometimes you get over it real quick and sometimes you don't. you just have to be strong because in time you will get over him and find someone better who will treat you better. try to stay away from him let your heart heal, being around him won't help. and even though your talking to other guys that's probably not a good idea. you need to let yourself get over this guy before you can really get into another guy. and if you ever feel yourself going back to him just remember what he did to you and how it made you. tell yourself that you deserve better.
2006-07-25 06:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by carmella0324 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're stuck because you want to be stuck. What is there to love about someone who would cheat on you and betray you? You got used to being in a relationship, and now it's over...things have changed a lot...but you don't "need" him and never did...a need is something we cannot live without...you can live without any man, especially a cheating one.
Make up your mind to put this behind you and then do it...it's okay to have fond memories, it's okay to miss the good times on occasion, but stop allowing yourself to be mired in this...don't put your entire life on hold so you can grieve...give yourself time to give this complete closure, find yourself again...get to know who you are as a single and independent woman...get back into life and enjoy it...THEN you will be in a good place to consider dating again...but not now...don't take your old relationship baggage with you to a new relationship...and don't ever compare a new guy to your cheating ex...it's unfair...people are individuals...judge them on their own merits or lack of, but not how they stack up to someone you are no longer with...
Good luck!
2006-07-25 06:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is tough to get over a love, but eventually we must all do it. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't waste more time on that relationship. (My last was 16 years, before she decided to cheat and then move on without me!)
You will hve good days (enjoy those) and bad days (those you can just hops to get through) but eventually the bad days become fewer and fewer and then you have you rlife back. Hang in there and remember that each day is a step towards a better life.
2006-07-25 07:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its love, but dont be fooled, you are not in love with him, you are in love with the way he made you feel you have a bad love, a man who cheats on you is not worth it, he does not respect you and he will cheat again. As for gettin over him you need to get out and meet other guys one that is loyal and will not hurt you like he does. trust me you can get the same feelings from other men without all the pain from being cheated on with it.
2006-07-25 06:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by thehabit87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and ongoing lust...get over him,and you'll be free to love another. Until the contents of your heart is empty it'll always be too full to experience any other type of love.. release yourself so that you may love again. Good luck
2006-07-25 06:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by jusb4dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it must be the two love and lust, i do no longer understand those human beings and could no longer make judgment on their emotions in direction of one yet another. Christians weren't in any respect meant to stress human beings to be Christian, just to unfold the observe of god and enable human beings make their very own judgements and take their very own paths and enable god do each and all of the judging. There would desire to be a Christian marketing campaign to tell human beings of this.
2016-12-10 15:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋