Would you help me with my cat?

Question

Well, I've had this cat for about 3 years now. He started out as the most affectionate cuddly cat you can possibly imagine. But, while we were on vacation someone abused him. We saved him and moved to protect him and he got a little better. After the abuse he'd gotten pretty impersonal. He was almost his old affectionate self, but he seemed lonely so we got a second cat. He was all ga-ga for her. It seemed like he actually had a crush on her, but she's more interested in playing than snuggling and the whole thing has made him this loner kitty. He still loves to be pet and he eats just fine, but he doesn't follow us or sleep on the bed anymore. He likes to be in a seperate room. Is there any way I can help him to make peace with the second kitty? Or to help him be his old, affectionate self again? Any advice at all would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

it would be really hard to change ur kitty-**i feel soooo bad for him!!!**- but the only thing i can think of is to give it some time.....invite ur kitty to nap with u on the couch.....spend some 1 on 1 time with him for 1hr. a day to make him feel secure that u won't leave again or that no one wants to be bothered with him....give him some treats and a big hug....he should turn around sometime. as for the girl kitty-she will mature soon and will possibly be in heat when she grows up so things can look up for *mr.kitty*. i hope he feels better...give him a rub and a hug 4 me! best of luck to u! :-}

Answer 2

I've lived with cats all my life - at one time I've had as many as 13 cats under my roof! That should tell you how much I adore them.

To the topic: Your cat, as unlikely as that may seem now, will be just fine. The cat was abused, true, but don't believe for a moment that the cat doesn't know the source of that abuse, and it sure as hell wasn't you. Do you know how cats sniff you out all the time? The cat knows darn well who you are, and while he might not be snugly now, be patient, that will come in due time after he's overcome his shock.

Cats can be weird animals. As you go on vacation for, say, a week, they will always think that they have just been consigned to the slaughterhouse, a point that becomes moot once you pop up again. But for a cat to love you, you have to prove yourself time and again. It's not the unconditional love you would receive from a dog, which is what makes cats special, human almost.

That said, a second cat is not always the correct choice. I laugh at this because I had 13 at one time, but don't you think the cat might have lost some cuddliness due to the competition? That's something to consider. It could be a 'lone child' cat.

All said, keep your head up. The cat will be all right. Give him the same attention you've always had and be patient. The cat will right himself.

Answer 3

first - since he was your cat, you must know who abused him and what was done to him. I hope that you handled that matter, because a person that abuses and harms animals, will move on to abusing children, or anything or one smaller and weaker then themselves. And I certainly hope that you don't allow this individual contact with the animals you now have.

That being said - your guy is fine. Cats are independent creatures, and are not driven by their need for constant attention, such as a dog is. As long as he's still having some interaction with you and the other cat, I wouldn't worry. Everyone needs their own space and time. He's probably to a point where he has figured out he sleeps better somewhere else. I would say, just let him have the space he needs right now. When he does come to you for love and affection, you will know it is on his terms and it is something he actually wants, rather than you chasing him down and trying to force it upon him. He will come around with time

Answer 4

Believe me.. cats are strange.. that is why I loves them so much. I had a cat that I Had to put down 3 months ago.. He was 16. He was not particularly affectionate for many years even though I know he loved me... After about 11 years, he turned and became very very affectionate.. He insisted on sleeping with me every night and under the covers with me and he remained that way until I Had to put him to sleep due to brain tumors.

Thus.. for you.. Please do not take it out on the kitty.. Hang in there and live with it and in time, the kitty will become affectionate(openly affectionate, that is) again.

Answer 5

Try to give him something new in the house for both the cats. He still wants to play but has nothing new to explore. Here is a suggestion, buy a 12in x 1in board and hang it in the room you spend the most time in, and hang it on the wall like a shelf. He will love it. I have three shelves that make the entire room accessible without touching the floor. My six cat, ages 2-5 all have a great time running along the walls.

Answer 6

If the new one is young, she will be playful more than him, and curious. Its normal that they feel jealous. Like kids when they get a baby brother or sister, they're all excited at first until they have to share the attention. give it time. Treat them equally by giving them both treats, at the same time, the same amount but infront of each of them separately. Try a kitty condo that has 2 distinct cubby holes for sleeping in. Your older cat will like the feeling of safety.

I agree with the answer above about just letting the cat choose when to interact but petting him whenever you walk by, etc. I would not, however, continually pick him up and bring him to you, he may resent that more.

I hope you reported the abuser to the humane society.

Answer 7

I am having the same problem and what I have done is I let my older cat do what she wants. I go up to her and pet her and give her a kiss on her head just so that she knows I still love her. I also give her a couple of extra cat treats as a special thing for her.

Answer 8

He actually sounds very much like a normal cat. Cats are very affectionate when they are young but over time as they get older they will prefer to do things, pretty much just when they feel like doing them.

Probably nothing to do. But hey if all else fails you can make friends with him by buying him some cat nip.

Answer 9

First, get in car. Shut door. Drive to favorite pet store. Park. Turn engine off. Open door. Get out of car. Close door and lock car. Walk into store to the cat toy aisle. Look for thin plastic poles with feathers attached. Sometimes it has a string between the pole and the feather...that works also. Pay for toy. Drive home. Open package, sit on couch and drag toy across carpet including both of cats while playing. This USUALLY helps both cats bond to you, each other, and gives them confidence.

Answer 10

well your new cat probally is not old enuogh to be interested in your older cat and as for the lonely guy he could be a little jealous of the new cat just give it time he'll come out it .but the new cat was a good move.