In the beginning of our relationship he wrote a poem and would write love letters to me. He would buy me flowers with cards and would write a little letter in them for no reason at all. We have been together for a little over 2 years and I have told him how I feel. He rolls his eyes and says "well why should I do that stuff when you don't do that for me?" I do but I don't get anything first and I know I shouldn't expect anything but it hurts when I do that stuff and I get nothing. What should I try doing to get his attention on the subject?
2006-07-25 06:30:26 · 19 answers · asked by AJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Well, why should I do that stuff when you don't do it for me."
Is the same thing you are saying, neither of you wants to do things for the other without KNOWING that they are going to do something back.
What he's saying is that he stopped doing all that because he felt like you took them for granted.
One answer, and one answer only. Start doing those silly romantic things for him. And don't expect anything in return. Do them because you love him and want to show him. And once isn't going to do it. Do it consistently . . . leave a note in his care that just says I love you. Hide notes around the house for him to stumble over. Send balloons and candy to him at work. and keep doing it. It'll take a few weeks of one or two things each week for him to start returning the favor, but it will really spice things up for you.
2006-07-25 06:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by cloaked30m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are give and take. At some points you may be giving more and and some points you may be taking more. Don't be hurt.....The beginning of a relationship is fun and exciting, the feelings of love make you almost euphoric. Once your relationship grows through good and bad it isn't all about romance, it is a commitment and the fact that you 2 are still together after 2 years is strong testament that you love each other without poems or flowers or cards. I know it kind of bites that the same level of romance isn't there but it will pop out of nowhere and he will eventually turn romantic again. Sometimes stresses of work, family, school, and life situations can take it's toll on close relationships. He may just be distant because he is sorting out his life right now or he is worried about his work, money or future. He loves you, don't worry.
2006-07-25 13:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by bored....zzzzzzzzz..... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a toughie. Well, if I were you, I'd probably give him a peck on the cheeck or something and ask him out often. I don't think he likes another girl or anything, it's just that, when you have a relationship for over a year or half a year, the guy always gets kind of unsure and isn't as sweet and romantic anymore. Threatening to dump him if he isn't romantic isn't a bad idea but it isn't something you should try. Show him how much you love him!
2006-07-25 13:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by lustful_essence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes some time, dedication and focus.
when you trapped in the daily practicalities of life, you easily forget about nurturing the relationship.
The first steep is to decide to do something about it together.
After that, you need to take time for it, for instance, do something special together on a Saturday night.
One of the reasons romance and passion dry out in relationships is because you sink into comfort and the challenge and excitement dies out.
If you want to shift the direction it is going, you need to consistently focus on it and develop new skills over a period of 1 to 3 months.
This is what it takes to understand how to wake up the passion again and consciously invite it in your relationship.
2006-07-25 13:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by lovemeacb4e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your b/f has lost his appreciation for you, guys tend to think after a certain point they no longer have to do anything to keep you around and they just expect you to be with them. I think if you want to get him to be romantic you have to remind him that you are still his to lose. Maybe talk to him or sometimes just to get his attention, you might need to resort to some slightly naughtier activites, im not talking about cheating, but maybe express interest in other guys just to wake him up and make him realize that even though he has you now, he still needs to work to keep you. at the same time keep doing things for him, and when he says you dont, remind him of the things you do.
2006-07-25 13:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by thehabit87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Th honeymoon stage is over. Sorry hun, but thats how the cookie crumbles. I was in your situation before. In fact I was sneaky and I had a friend say to him, "You know Stef (me) has been sad lately.. Maybe you can do somehting nice for her and cheer her up" and he did. So my friends would give him little hints and evebtually he caught on. :D It worked for me. Also dont bring up the subject anymore. Continue to do sweet stuff and if still nothing girl...just give up. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.
2006-07-25 13:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by Poetic Jezebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once my good friend told me that love and romance are like a plant. If you don't water it enough, in this case if you don't do anything about it, it dies. You can't do nothing and expect a lot in return. Do some romantic thing for him, something that you would like him to do for you and if he doesn't respond to that then maybe you have a problem.
2006-07-25 13:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by hellothere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some space dnt try n b possesive 2 much as guys really hate it some times but they like thr patrners 2 b concernd so u mst try n do things which he likes at least give it a try it will make him feel dat u really care 4 him n everything wld b back 2 normal again jst go wd it n trust urself dnt ask people abt ur guy u knw him better rite hope u dnt mind wht i said thanx
2006-07-25 13:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by ginni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've spoken to him about it and gotten no understanding, I would suggest asking for some "space". This will alert him that you are REALLY unhappy with the situation, and he will try and do what he can to keep you, if he truly loves you and doesn't want to risk losing you. It worked for me when my boyfriend and I were having problems - I felt like we were losing our spark and things weren't as romantic. After I suggested some time apart, he became scared and started to beome much more showy about his love for me, which showed to me that he really DID care. Sometimes it's hard to continually show that love, and sometimes time apart is necessary to realize what you're missing.
2006-07-25 13:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by plcarnrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will be as romantic with you as you are with him (almost, he IS a guy).
When you said, "I do but I don't get anything FIRST...." it indicates you are not romantic, you are responsive. If you start doing things for him and he doesn't eventually respond, it will be serious time to reevaluate the relationship.
Blame is a two way street, not one way!
2006-07-25 13:33:13 · answer #10 · answered by Steve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋