Bit of advice please?

Question

alright, first off. I dont lime bringing my personal **** online. but meh I need advice from somewhere.

So anyways I've been married for a few months to my lovely wife. And we've been trying to have a baby and whatnot.

So Saturday night, I got drunk. Mind you I wasnt with her as it was after work.
And I went out to a bar. and ended up having a 1 night stand.
Now all I feel is guilt. So the question I need answered is. Should I tell my wife, and risk getting a divorce. or lay low, and hope I didnt get a different woman pregnant?

also, I asked in here, because I feel most of you are a bit more mature then some of the ones running around in other sections. lol

Answer 1

The same thing happened to me. My husband went out after work, got drunk, and had his fling. He told me right away. At the time, I was 3 months pregnant. We separated for a while. It was the hardest thing for me to go through, but we did eventually get back together. It was a little different for a while when we did get back together. We slept in separate rooms, and we began "dating" again so he could start to earn back the trust. I guess what I'm saying here is you should be honest with your wife. I had contemplated divorce, and my family was going to support any decision I made. I decided to try and make it work. We've been going strong ever since I forgave him. Mind you, I never have forgotten what he has done to me, and he will never have the full trust I had in him back again. But, we are now more open and communicate so much better. We're actually having another baby...and we couldn't be happier. If you want to talk more about what happened to you, I will be willing to listen. You can e-mail me anytime. Don't let people tell you that you're 100% wrong in your situation.....obviously there was something missing in your current relationship that you found in the woman you slept with. Just make sure you do tell your wife....and do yourself a favor and get tested for HIV/STDs. If your wife does get pregnant and you have given her something, it would absolutely devistate her to find out when she goes in for cultures. Be honest, and reassure her that you do love her and you want it to work out (if this is the truth and you do want it to work out, that is). Good luck to you and your wife.

Answer 2

Tell her right away. Make sure you get tested right away for STDs and re-tested and make sure your wife sees the results. You need to be the one to tell your wife, because sometimes a woman can forgive something - but it would be way harder if she found out some other way, or if your bit on the side got pregnant. I think it would be a very good, mature idea if you offered to go to marriage counselling with your wife - to have a professional help you settle the issues. Just remember, you have set yourself up for a lot of trouble from your wife - it's not something she can forget and probably won't forgive easily, so don't get after her for that - or if she nags you and doesn't trust you. You have a long road ahead of you, but sometimes there is life after an affair.

Answer 3

If I were you and I'm not but I would tell her be a man about it.Although being DRUNK is not a excuse. It is better to get it out in the open and tell her Rather than some girl cumming up to you on the street talking about it. Also what if the girl does become pregnant that's gonna be even worse then cause you didn't tell her what you did and then she finds them both out at the same time. Double Trouble!!! You will also have to live with it on your conscience. I think it would better to go ahead and tell her...

GOOD LUCK I hope you learn something from this too...

Answer 4

Learn from your mistake and do not tell your wife. You might also think about stopping drinking if that's all it took to get you in bed with someone else. I don't advocate lying, but I see nothing to be gained by telling your wife if it was, indeed, a one night stand. You might want to get tested to make sure you didn't pick up any long-term remembrances of your new friend. That was a really stupid move, you know.

Answer 5

Getting drunk and having a one night stand is not a mistake...it is out right irresponsible on your part.

Tell your wife and risk your marriage since you already done it by sleeping with another woman...who is to say you won't do it again.

Do not dare blame it on the alcohol...you knew exactly what you were doing if you can come on here and tell us what you did.

Answer 6

If you're worried you got another woman pregnant, then that means you weren't using a condom. You could very easily have caught and STD, especially considering it was with some stranger in a bar. You are obligated to tell your wife. You could hide it and hope this other woman isn't pregnant, but if it turns out you did catch and STD and spread it to your wife, she's going to be REALLY pissed that you didn't tell her.

Answer 7

Ignorance is bliss but information is powerful. I think first you should not sleep with your wife again until you get tested. Then i say let her have the power to decide for herself. If your truly sorry and get counseling right away i think you have a chance that your marriage will work but you owe her something big

Answer 8

If I was cheated on I would want to know. you could have picked up a disease or something and could pass it to your wife. If you had sex with your wife you both need to get checked out. you wouldn't want to get her pregnant and find out you have to abort it because you were unfaithful. A marriage is based on trust and if you can't trust that she will forgive you then it will never work out and it will eat you up inside. Just don't let there be a next time.

Answer 9

Do not tell your wife - spare her the misery you will give her by admitting it - learn from your mistake, and never do it again. Ever. And if the one-nighter got pregnant, then you have a much bigger issue at hand.

Answer 10

Honesty is the best policy. You fu**** up BIG TIME and your wife deserves to know... YOu should of thought of that BEFORE you had sex with a random stranger~

p.s. Being drunk is NOT a valid excuse