how do i handle this situation with our children's babysitter?

Question

My kids are 21 months, 8 years and 11 years. The older two are telling me that they hardly eat anything there all day. I found out because I asked them one day out of the blue what they had for lunch, and they said they had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a hot dog on a bun for lunch (and nothing else-no chips or anything) and three cookies for a snack. They are there over 10 hours a day! I can't take them they're own food because she has several other kids and I don't think it would be fair to the rest. Also, the yougest is very prone to diaper rash and she knows this. I had him almost all cleared up after the weekend and by Monday when I picked them up, it was back. I know it's because he's not getting changed often and his wet diapers are rubbing the sides of his legs. Do I confront her about these things or do I just find someone else? If I confront her, what if she denies it? Also, what reason do I give her for finding someone else? I don't do well with confrontation. Suggestions?

Answer 1

As a caregiver myself, let me tell you that pointers *are* appreciated. Especially if the babysitter is watching other kids, she may be overlooking some things that get under your skin. When you go to pick the kids up, ask her what they ate that day. Watch your childrens' reactions to gauge if you think she's being accurate. If what she has fed them isn't adequate, mention that you'd like them to have at least two different foods with lunch and a serving of vegetable or fruit as a snack. Offer to bring in cut-up oranges for all the kids one day, "just to help out." Then ask her every day what she fed them. She'll get the message. Also, clearly point out your baby's diaper rash to her and tell her your concerns that you don't think he's not being changed enough during the day. Use the angle of "We worked so hard to get it cleared up over the weekend and now it's back. He'll be so much lessy fussy if his bottom isn't bothering him." And last, if she denies it or you think she's being dishonest, you need to find another care situation for your kids. I am completely honest with families I work with and welcome them to drop in unannounced. If you think your babysitter has something to hide, she probably does.

Answer 2

First, take a deep breath.
I understand it's hard to not get worked up or upset when someone's not being kind to your children.

I would straight out tell her that your children require more food during the day. They don't need to be fed like a pack of dogs, but perhaps she should mix some healthy snacks in the day instead of those cookies- like how about some fruit for now and then later in the day some celery sticks w/ peanut butter? Those are great snacks to keep your kids tummies full. But don't accuse her of starving your kids, your kids could either be exaggerating or she just may not know your kids are still hungry after she feeds them.

About the baby- the baby's diaper is clearly not being changed often enough. Tell her that your child's rash won't go away unless she is more attentive to his needs. That poor baby! The itch must be driving him crazy. Your sitter needs to balance sitting for your children and the other peoples.

Maybe she's taking on too many kids at once. Perhaps discuss alternating days she sits the kids and then arrange for someone else on other week days. Your kids may be upset by the sudden change, having to get reacquainted with a different sitter, but in the end this may help both you and this sitter out.

Answer 3

Well, if you DO decide to confront her, definitely make sure you have at least 1 or 2 other babysitters that will do it. Worse case scenario would be that she gets upset and refuses to babysit for you anymore, and you don't have anyone else!

But if you do, I would just say to her that 1) the youngest is very prone to diaper rash, and it is extremely important that she watches it. Just tell her it came back, so she really needs to keep an eye on it. Give her SPECIFIC instructions, like checking his diaper every hour. And if you want the "food" problem solves, make a list of what exactly you want them to eat...for example: LUNCH: Hot dog, corn, etc... That way, she has a list to go off of that you made. Also, if you provide the food for them, she would probably be more apt to make it.

If she still isn't following directions, then I would tell her flat out...you aren't listening to my requests. It's not going to work out at this point in time...

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

If you are unhappy with the service you are receiving, then the only options you have is to confront the babysitter or find another.
I do feel that you are wrong about packing food for your kids. You , as a parent has the right to decide what your kids eat, and the fact that she sits other kids isn't your problem.
Anyway my advice is to change babysitters. You have the right and responsibility to make sure your children get the best possible care. I don't think that that is the case with the present babysitter.
You don't have to confront her. A statement such as "I feel that my children would get better care elsewhere" doesn't give her the oppurtunity to deny anything, and states your position clearly.

Answer 5

You say she already knows that your youngest child is prone to diaper rashes yet still is not changing him more. As for the meals, they are unbalanced and not nutrutious in any way.You need to seek a better sitter for your children. Don't confront her- because doing so now may cause problems as you look- she does not seem to be the type with ethics-- You take your children to her knowing she is not feeding them right or taking care of thier basic needs- I suggest you look for someone who will come into your home (maybe even a nanny)-- You don't need to justify yourself to her, but if you feel compeled to tell her something just say you had a change of mind on how your children would be raised and leave it at that.

Answer 6

I would find someone else first and foremost...nothing in this world is more important than your children and their health. Kids grow so fast, and need healthy food...and more than just a hotdog, cold cereal and cookies! When the babysitter asks you why you're switching, tell her it's because she's not feeding them properly. If I were you, I'd report this woman to the state. I assume she has a license to be a daycare provider. If not, then at least try to get in contact with the other childrens' parents. If she's not feeding your kids, she's probably not feeding the other children, either.

Answer 7

I do daycare and have been doing this for 25+ years. If the 11 year old is telling you they are hungry then they probably are. I can't fill up my daycare kiddies. One of two ways, ask her what the kids had for lunch act like you don't want to duplicate what they had for supper. See what she says in comparison to what the kids say. After she mentions what they had if it seems more than what the children said. Tell her that your kids are always hungry when they come home and could she possibly feed them more. You can offer to bring food. I have families that do help me because her kids eat alot. It is nothing for me to fix food and it disappear faster than I can keep up. I even have my families tell me not to feed them after a certain time as I feed them so much that they do not want to eat supper.

As for the diaper rash, wow that can happen quickly. I have had children fine one minute put them down for a nap and they have a BM in their diapers and wake with a rash. So that one is just tricky.

Answer 8

You should give her a feeding schedule & let her know that your doctor suggested that the baby's diaper be changed more often due to a bad diaper rash. If this continues, just find someone else & tell her that you found someone closer to your house/job, just make something up or simply tell her the truth.

Answer 9

I would start looking for someone else immediatley. There is no excuse for a babys wet diaper not to be changed or children not eating enough during the day. If you dont confront her, the issue will most likely continue. do you want that? If she needs a reason, give her one. it seems to me like you have plenty of reasons...

Answer 10

Dearest, don't be scared to tell her you KNOW what happens to YOUR children when they are with the sitter. You have EVERY RIGHT to change sitters, heck - who else will protect your children except YOU? Your kids might grow thinking this type of caregiving is normal! Heaven forbid! Find someone else. If she protests, tell her you'll tell all the parents in the block even 5 blocks radius what a lousy sitter she is and that you'll report her to child services. In fact, you should tell people esp those parents who trust her. But get your children out of there. Good luck.