2006-07-25 05:45:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and because they are "the seven dwarfs," they get ushered into see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs begin giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey
turns back to face the Pope.
"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."
This time, all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.
Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"
The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
2006-07-25 08:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by racing_jrfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
riddle= A man is on the way to Dublin when he comes to a fork in the road. Two brothers stand guard at the beginning of each road. These are two brothers famous who are famous throughout the land because one of them can only ever tell a lie, and the other can only ever tell the truth. The man doesn't know whether he should take the left fork or the right fork. Nor does he know which brother is the liar and which is the truthful one. Therefore if he simply asks one of them" is this the way to go?" he only has a 50/50 chance of being told the truth. In only one question, to only one brother, what question can he ask that ENSURES for certain he knows which which way to go???
Answer: He says "If I asked the other one is this the way to go, what would he say?" after hearing the answer he should then take the other path. Think about it!!!
2006-07-25 06:02:03 · answer #2 · answered by fatso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO THIS LINK:
http://freeweb.siol.net/danej/riverIQGame.swf
Apparently this is an IQ test given to job applicants in Japan: "Everybody must cross the river".
This takes some thinking, but can be done (I know cuz I did it!)
The rules are:
Click on link, then click on blue circle. Use the rules below.
The following rules apply:
Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
The father can not stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence.
The mother can not stay with any of the sons without their father's presence.
The thief (striped shirt) can not stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there.
Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft.
To start click on the big blue circle on the right.
To move the people click on them. To move the raft click on the pole on the opposite side of the river
2006-07-25 05:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by NIKKI L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traffic Stress
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the
intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him."
The officer continued, "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me toSunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car"
2006-07-25 14:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE SWALLOW: A STORY WITH A MORAL.
The young swallow was having such a wonderful time that he completely forgot that he was supposed to fly south for the winter. He was out from dawn to dusk chasing other young female swallows and in all, he was having a fantastic time. However, as I said, he had forgotten something. As October arrived and the weather worsened, he suddenly remembered and made a mad dash for the South coast. It was too late. Snow and ice began to form on his wings, he lost height, his strength was gone, he was knackered and began to fall from the sky. He landed in a field where as he lay, he realised he was dying. However, a passing cow, which in fact did not see him in the grass, shat all over him. The swallow was too cold to be disgusted but as he lay there in the mess, he realised that he was getting warmer. He realised that he was not going to die so he began to sing. He sang like he had never sung before - at the top of his voice in fact. The singing was so loud that a passing tomcat heard him. He cleared off the sh*it, killed the swallow and ate him.
The Moral of the story is: It is not necessarily your worst enemy who puts you in the sh*it and it is not necessarily your best friend who gets you out of the sh*it. However, when you are in the sh*it, keep your bloody mouth shut.
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2006-07-25 05:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope... never heard of go jokes or riddles. Do they have something to do with driving?
2006-07-25 05:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by ildjb@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did it take Moses 40 years to make a 11 day journey? He would not stop and ask for directions!@
2006-07-25 05:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by nswblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK
I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS....................................
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.
HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?
SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO... DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!
2006-07-25 05:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's a "go" joke? To the bathroom?
2006-07-28 19:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the little boy tip toe past the medicine cabinet??? cuz he didnt want to wake the sleeping pills lol
2006-07-25 05:48:14 · answer #10 · answered by jackie2y2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋