To sum it up... I have tried and tried to break up with this guy at least 15 times in the last 3 years. He always talks me into giving it another try. He and my 13 year old DO NOT get along.... she is an "old soul" and has always been too intuitive for her own good. She has given him a hundred chances to stop trying to be "the boss", but he just won't! He has to be in control, no matter what. I am about to move out of state, and he says he will follow me wherever I go, he told me to call the police because he would make them shoot him dead before he would leave me. He keeps saying my daughter will not like anyone I date - which isn't true - It's just him.... ANY IDEAS????
2006-07-25 05:30:13 · 11 answers · asked by kebbs32 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like this guy has "control issues"....get away from him as quickly as possible. And if need be, get a PFA (Protection from Abuse) order on him to protect you & your daughter. You obviously have issues w/ him or you wouldn't be trying to break up w/ him all those times. You have to stay strong & just break up w/ him & don't fall into his trap & go back. You & your daughter will be better off & happier in the long run. Believe me...I've "been there, done that". Hang in there & Good luck!
2006-07-25 05:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by godsmacksun23 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, move out of state, change your phone number, make sure he does not have your new address and stop speaking to him. If he shows up get a restraining order against him. You need to be strong and firm. Any man that has as little self respect and as many control issues as this man is not worth staying with. When people start telling you can't get another boyfriend or that police will have to shoot him, you are dealing with a crazy. You clearly want to move on, but for some reason you keep giving in, giving him another chance, etc. You owe it to yourself and more importantly you owe it to your daughter to be a strong person and do the right thing. You don't need your teenage daughter to grow up thinking that being spineless, not keeping your word, and giving some loser multiple chances is the right way to behave.
Be very firm or this problem will never go away. The older you get the harder it will be to find a quality man. Every year you waste with this loser makes it less likely you will find Mr. Right.
2006-07-25 05:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is more than stubborn. He is controlling. You are trying to end the relationship for a reason. Isn't that reason good enough? Why do you keep letting him back into your life? Before you even try to break up with him another time, please get some counseling. You might want to try to determine why you have allowed this man to control you and prevent it from happening again with someone else.
When you do break it off with him, break all ties. Change your number, move, don't give your contact info to any mutual friends. Change even your e-mail address. Get a restraining order against him if you need to. Do not be afraid to enlist the help of family and/or friends to really give this your best shot.
Good luck. And in everything, try to reveal as little of this to your daughter as possible. Even though she is an old soul, she is still a child and does not need to concern herself with adult problems.
2006-07-25 05:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by That Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so this guy is a nutbag! First, file a police report about his harassing you. And then file for a restraining/no contact order. You need to document EVERYTHING you can. Keep any emails, text messages, IM's, voice mails anything he sends to you. Get a recorder and start recording all phone calls (make sure you live in a one party state, otherwise you have to tell him you are recording). Keep everything you can and when you get to court for the restraining/no contact order you will have plenty of evidence against him
2006-07-25 05:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his advice and call the police, and get the 'flock' out of town. If he's living with you, find a place you can go - a friend or family member - where you'll have some back-up if he does stalk you. If you can stick it out a little bit and want to try to make it an amicable break-up, maybe suggest some couples counseling (under the ruse that you want to make things work out). Tell your counselor/therapist what's going on. That way, he/she can help him get over his separation issues, as well as step in legally on your behalf of things get ugly.
Good luck.
2006-07-25 05:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by pattitutde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a backbone - or a restraining order. After 15 false breakups, do you blame him for not believing you?
Moving out of state would be a good idea, in the dead of night.
Try a fake move. Put your things in storage and figure out where he won't be. My sister did a fake move from Texas to Ohio, but really just moved to another neighborhood, and that caused her ex-husband to move out of state thinking he was following her.
You could spread around the news and forwarding address of where you intended to move out of state, and then just move locally.
2006-07-25 05:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are moving out of state, just move and don't tell him where your going. Who is more important, your daughter or some guy that will probably give you problems for the rest of your life? Of course he wants to be with you, he is controlling you. Get a restraining order and get the hell out of there!
2006-07-25 05:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave em'.
If you want to break-up he should let u....Although it's a would be a nice feeling to never have to worry about being dumped! lol
I wish I had that. You need to get it through his head that he doesen't have control. Ecpecially of YOUR daughter....and of YOU. U don't want a guy who tried to control you and your loved ones. Don't give him another chance. If I kills himself over you, he has issues. This isn't love. It's him clinging to you cuz he isn't independant. Your moving & he has to learn to deal with that. In my opinion, you and your daughter would be much better off without him.
Good Luck! ;-)
2006-07-25 05:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Lovliness♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go and stop speaking to him. Avoid his calls, messages, coming over (don't answer the door). If this guy is a REAL threat or problem, you may have to speak with people who deal with stalking. Good luck.
2006-07-25 05:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see an abusive relationship brewing. If he doesnt listen and can't stand behind boundaries... he is not safe for you. Get a restraining order and move.
But of course, you wouldnt.
2006-07-25 05:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by Phaedrus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋