If your 8 y/o son's best friend (also 8) said to you"Relax. Don't get so excited" would you tell his parents

Question

The boys were acting up and we told them for the last time to settle down. Johnathan said this to my husband. Should we tell his parents? We think it was pretty smart mouth of him.

Answer 1

He was just repeating something he has heard before and probably meant no disrespect. I have no problem telling other peoples kids if something is disrespectful when they are in my care. If I had been told that by him, I would have politely said, " I'm not getting excited. I am the adult and I am in charge here. What you just said was disrespectful, whether you meant to be or not. Never tell an adult how to act. Thats not your place. When I correct you, whether I am you parent or not, you are to respect and obey." If you explain to them why, they will get it. :)

Answer 2

I would not tell the parents, if I were in the same situation. I have told parents that their child was a handful when dropping the child back home but don't go into details.

What I do, when a child misbehaves in my presence, is I stop everything, look the child in the eye and tell him that he will be respectful while with me, that this is not his parents house and I do not want to hear about what he is allowed to do or say at home. Then I tell him the rules, since he apparently isn't aware of them: no cursing, and that includes calling someone stupid or fat or dumb, no back talk, and that includes responding as he did, and so on.

My son's friends all know what they can and can't get away with at my house or when we go out on our boat. So they know how to behave, just like they know how to behave at school, in church, and so on. They need reminding, sure, but once you set the ground rules they respect them. If they forget, or deliberately are disrespecful, they know I will call their parents to come get them immediately, and you MUST be prepared to follow through on that threat!

Telling the parents only embarrasses everyone; deal with the child.

Answer 3

I don't think you should mention it. Maybe the boy was having a rough day, I think his behaviour is normal, you don't need to alienate him, remember he has only had 8 years to learn how to be social, and a lot of adults don't have that skill down pat. At 8 kids are wanting to be independent and not be told what to do. It is a struggle between being a good little soldier and being a mini independent person. He was just being honest about how he felt about the situation, which is good. That he can communicate his honest thoughts disrespectful or not, is healthy. In my opinion what he said isn't that outrageous.

Answer 4

Depends, are his parents your friends too? If not, I would probably nip the problem in the bud (the boy). Firmly explain how this level of disrespect is not tolerated in your household. His parents might just shrug it off and tell you to relax too. The boy might start to figure it out. If his parents are allowing disrespect, but others don't he might correct his language. If his parents allow this to happen (which seems apparent) then telling them will not help. On the other hand, he could just be testing boundaries with you. If he is generally a good kid, then don't sweat it, just explain to him that you don't appreciate being spoken to that way and if he continues you may prohibit him from being in your house.

Answer 5

Yes, I'd tell them. It's your house and he should respect your rules. I wasn't allowed to backtalk any adult and my daughter is raised the same way. Even if she doesn't agree with them, she should at least respect them. If the boy (and his parents) can't do this, then he really doesn't need to play at your house. Also something to think about, if your son is hearing this, it won't take long before it rubs off on him. You can't deal with it without the help of his parents. He could also go home and lie to his parents about what you say to him if you don't include them in the discussion.

Answer 6

Relax don't get so excited!LOL...He didn't swear at you yes it was a smartmouth thing to say but all you have to do is tell him don't speak to me like that again or you will have to go home. Don't worry about telling his parents he 's 8 if this is all he did it is something you can handle with a few stern words. He won't do it again after that he was probably testing your boundries

Answer 7

We had our 6 yr old son's friend, who is 7 overnight once. We had the same problem - only he was smart enough to tell my husband, "My mom says that I don't have to go to bed this early, and that I can stay up as late as I want."
My husband told that little brat:
"Well, son, this is MY house, and while you are here you will follow my rules, end of story. If you don't like it, I can drive you home now."
And that shut him up. We never told his mother.

Answer 8

I'd probably mention to his parents that he was having problems respecting the rules of the house and speaking respectfully/talking back to you and your husband. Although if he talks that way to you then he probably talks that way to his parents to so what are they going to do that they aren't already doing? I'd also limit his interactions with my son if I were you. That kind of behavior tends to rub off between friends and you don't want to start that kind of struggle in your home as well.

Answer 9

Depends... If you took great offense to it they yes... Tell his parents... if your not sure, wait and see if he does it again or anything along those lines again.. then tell them, he did this today and has done it in the past also... we dont really like that kind of behavior towards adults... and go from there.. good luck!! I have been there and had to do it before, isnt fun, but a fact of life.

Answer 10

His response was actually rather tame. Wow, I have heard some things out of childrens mouth that had I said when I was younger, would have prompted a good smack across the mouth. Children say what they hear, and what he said is NOT rude, obscene, vulgar, or disrespectful.