Should I get a prenup?

Question

I was talking to my bf and we started to dicuss marriage. And I mentioned that I would want a pre-nup if we did get married. The main reason is that I make about 3 times more than my bf. I don't think he ever thought about a pre-nup and was a bit taken aback by the discussion. I always thought I'd sign one regardless if I made more or if my bf made more...just thought it was the smart thing to do. I'm now thinking of telling him that I won't bring this up again and would never ask him to sign one. I'm not sure if I'm comprising too much? What do you think? I have also saved alot of money for a nice down payment on a house..my bf has not saved anything. We are both 30.

Answer 1

You should get the prenup for more than just mis-matched earnings. A prenup is not just to protect the assets of one partner in case of a divorce, it can save you lots of money should you decide to get divorced by keeping you out of court; it can determine how custody will work if you decide to have children; it can also govern how your marriage will work i.e. who is willing to relocate for who's job? Who will help with the schooling of whom? How will inheritances be negotiated should there be children from a previous marriage/relationship, and much much more.

Why don't you do this--the both of you read and discuss
"Prenups for Lovers" by Arlene G. Dubin
You can learn more about the book here
http://www.prenupsforlovers.com/
This book completely changed my mind about prenuptial agreements and I definitely would want one if I am getting married even though I make peanuts and have no savings.

I encourage you to let him know this idea is open to discussion and compromise. Let him know you'd like for the both of you to educate yourselves about prenups so that if you both decide they are not for you, it will be an informed decision. The popular media represents prenuptial agreements as one-sided contracts that protect the assets of a wealthy person when they are afraid they are marrying a gold-digger. That is only true part of the time and that is not what prenups are for. Your boyfriend is probably looking at it that way, and your opinion may also be tinged with this idea so I strongly recommend you both educate yourselves.

Answer 2

I'm not a solicitor but what I understand about prenups as a lay person is:

You can make 20 times more, if you divorce you will split whatever you guys earned and bought during the time you were married. Prenup is there to make sure your bf doesn't share with you what property, business and such you made before you got married.

If you have your own business now, or own property or have savings now, he doesn't get to share that in case of divorce, but if you start a business while married to him buy property and such he gets to share in that.

Prenup also, sometimes, stipulate what he gets and such, sometimes, but I'm pretty sure that can be challenged.

Marital assets are considered to be earned together, no prenup trumps marital assets, but prenup makes sure you protect what you had before, family business and such.

Given the fact that prenup does not strip anyone of marital assets, nobody has a reason not to sign it.

If you don't have much savings, do not own property, or business, than your bf is surprised coz you do not need a prenup and will waste money on attorneys, since you cannot protect your earnings while you are married from him.

Again, I don't know much about prenups, so talk to a solicitor.

Answer 3

Yes you both need to sign a prenup agreement and for no other reason it will both parties if you ever decide to split. that whoever leaves can only take what they came into the marriage

Answer 4

Yes, Prenup

Answer 5

Get the pre-nup... if it's a show stopper, maybe he's not the right one.

Answer 6

Yes you should.