I'm trying to get a better understanding ...?

Question

In recent conversations with a male friend, it became again obvious that men and women communicate on different levels. Women seem to need to go into detail and make sure the person they are talking to understands what they are saying. While men on the other hand don't seem to need the details only the facts. Then its still debatable if they will remember what we have said to them.

Men tend to claim they can't read womens minds yet when we do talk they tend to shut out what we are saying. Sometimes its almost like banging our heads on walls because we are so different.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone ... only trying to understand how to communicate better is all. I love this man and we do spend hours talking I just need to remember to hold my finger over his left ear when I'm saying some thing important so that it has a chance to sink in before it slips out of the other ear.

Anyone have a way for men and women to find a common lever for solid communication?

Answer 1

I think you have the best understanding about communication between the sexes....and that would be the most important to close such a gap is simply recognize there are differences.

Answer 2

Men speak with what is known as report talk. It consists of essentially, telling someone flat out what they want to say and thats it. Extraneous details are useless and not necessary.

Women speak with Rapport talk, which involves alot more depth of conversation, (and depth isn't necessarily *good* mind you) and spirals out into other inferences.

You see, there is nothing that will make a guy more insane than when a woman calls him up and asks if they can talk about "stuff". We men need an objective of a conversation.

Look at it this way, if you spoke French and I spoke English and neither of us understood each others language does that mean we are ignoring one another? Of course not, same thing. If you want a man to understand and address what your saying (and this is only if the man is actually not ignoring you) you need to go directly at it. Avoid nuances, inferences and implied meanings, you want to talk directly to him. Also expect the conversations to be relatively short compared to those with your female friends.

Remember, its not necessarily going in one ear and out the other, you may just be saying alot of things, that to a man, are totally unrelated to the conversation, and the important bits are slipping by.

Then again, he may just be a bad listener.

Answer 3

You're off to a good start, any type of communication helps. Just try to see when's the best time he listens and use words that he'll be more prone to listen to. It takes a long time for a man and a woman to understand each other, especially in a relationship. Over time you guys will start to understand each other

Answer 4

You're thinking about it too much-there is no scientific big difference in talking to one another. Just enjoy communicating with someone (man or woman) with respect-if they are interested they're going to remember what you say or at least HOW you said it. So if this fellow your interested in doesn't retain info you'd like him to remember or to be more sensitive about, maybe you need to find a more attentive guy.

Answer 5

as quickly as I say the observe "abstinece" what do you think of? No intercourse, till you're married. might you have intercourse just to purpose it or does it propose greater advantageous than that to you? if so, what does it meant you? It must be with somebody i admire and have faith, extremely my boyfriend. What (on your eyes) does a healthful dating look as though? having the flexibility to tell one yet another something. Are you pleased textile with your self or are you many times striving to be somebody else, somebody greater effective? if so, why? i'm happy with myself. Do you utilize language, drugs, smoke, drink or any of that stuff to look "cool" or do you certainly like the sensation that incorporates it? if so, why do you like that feeling? sure, no, did as quickly as, hate it, so extremely I attempt stuff just to greater healthy it, yet genuine acquaintances do not care, it quite is the reason I do not something yet swear- basically whilst indignant or in discomfort! If there is one subject on your existence which you may desire to flee from (guy or woman, place, or subject) what might it quite is? actuality- basically for slightly exciting! Do you "think of" or "have faith" which you're a particular guy or woman or do you basically sense like everybody else obtainable? No-one is greater appropriate. What do you think of keeps the international going? Love Do you suspect in a God? if so, why or why not? sure- an adventure whilst i grew to become into youthful.

Answer 6

Some guys are very good listeners because they respect what women have to say and others the conversation has to be interesting to them in order to keep their attention. Its a toss up and depends on the guy

Answer 7

Men seem to tend to want to solve problems, when the woman just wants him to listen to her. You might try prefacing your conversation by saying, "I want to tell you about my day. I don't need you to solve my problems, I just want you to listen to me while I vent." But, the woman should not go on for hours about her problems; keep it fairly brief so his eyes don't glaze over. And make sure you're not repeating the same details & events over and over; maybe that's why he's tuning you out.

Answer 8

if you had to use sign language would you go through all that detail? probably not. Bring youself down to the communication level of a man. it's brief and to the point.

Answer 9

Women: try communicating as if U were the man.
Men: try communicating as if U were a woman.

Answer 10

women need to be factual and to the point with guys or they lose interest and start tuning out
guys talk 10,000 words a day.. then shut down'
women talk 20,000+ words a day