Frequency issue?

Question

When I and my boyfriend started dating, he wanted to make love almost every day. He wanted me to take BC pills but I refused. I prefer condoms. He tried hard to convince me but could not. Finally he said ok, but the frequency dropped suddenly to something like once a week. Since then, the frequency is maintained average of once a week (sometimes 10 days). I prefer 2-3 times a week. He turns me down when I ask for it (sometimes harshly), but when he wants it, he just comes up to me and starts it without considering my feeling. Because it hurts me emotionally whenever he turns me down, I stopped asking for it, instead, I secretly hope that he asks me (I cuddle up with him, kiss him, ect…but doesn’t work). We talked about this issue. He thinks it is a hard work for him and prefer to do it himself sometimes. There are two reasons. One: he gets less stimulation with condom on. 2: In the past I told him what I like in sex (a few preferences such as sensitive part of the body) and he thinks it is too much. While giving me pleasure, his desire dies, and he doesn’t want to make love anymore. He wants me to just enjoy what he gives me. He is very very kind usually and we live together. I am too discouraged to ask for sex anymore. I need help to understand this type of man. Is he just selfish or is it me?

Answer 1

Its really both of you....

Your opposition to the BC pill has turned down his drive because he doesnt want kids just yet. Using a condom is very risky sometimes cause it can break, and then there goes the neighborhood. Also, i have the same problems with condoms.. they dont keep the stimulation going because they restrict me, making it too tight on me. Thats could be another problem he's having, maybe try another type of condom.

His reasoning for lowering the sex drive could be that you need to spice it up a little bit, his infrequency and stubborness is probably because hes been doing the same thing day in and day out, and probably doesnt know what else to try, so once you do get into it with him, tell him to do some different things you like, while having your time, dont tell him mean like, but very subtly so he thinks about it and does it. Some of us guys you have to tell what to do and when to do it, otherwise we go and do our own thing without a second thought.

On the off hand... you may have a relationship issue. You may not want to hear this, but it's very possible he's cheating on you. If it drops from daily, to once weekly, that could mean that he has someone else he's fooling with, but comes back to you because he doesnt want to lose the relationship. You may want to think about it. But dont get driven on it, because like i said, it is only a possibility. Take Care.....

Answer 2

It's called a compromise. Perhaps U should try some kind of couseling with him on this. Deny him a couple of times. That and ask him (yes I'm serious) if he's cheating and/or on the downlow. There has to be some form of a middle ground. Maybe you should try the pill, they don't taste all that bad, and they help with other medical things as well. You can't be all that mad at him, he begged for you to try something and you turned him down. Turn around is fair play.

Answer 3

must be hormonal, she could confer together with her doctor. additionally, you do comprehend that it should be extra romantic for a females than for a guy. A rubdown, draw her a bubble bath, vegetation, romantic action picture. She is probable exhausted from the infants, have faith me, been there and completed that! One thinks a stay at homestead spouse elevating young infants is uncomplicated, this is no longer! I went decrease back to artwork to get a destroy!! :) Take her away for the weekend, or have the infants stay at her mom and dad or your mom and dad to grant her a destroy one night. in line with risk another weekend for one evening if a possibility. If no longer, in line with risk a depended on chum or sitter. i'm making of venture that's in many cases organic exhaustion from the infants, they positioned on you out bodily and mentally. She probable desires it sluggish to look after herself, she may well be in a extra proper temper if she have been given it sluggish for herself a number of cases each and every week, whether for a pair hours. tell her to circulate get her nails completed, or merely walk around surfing on the shop on a similar time as you shop the infants a million or 2 cases each and every week. it may artwork wonders! EDIT: examining multiple the different solutions, have confidence me, while a females is so exhausted or maybe depressed and not into intercourse, the final ingredient she is doing is finding someplace else. those are statements from people who of course do no longer comprehend a females. additionally, do no longer look someplace else, you have an excellent marriage, why smash it via doing for yet another what you ought to do for her? you may could extremely courtroom yet another besides, why no longer positioned funds into your spouse! Like I reported, she is merely exhausted (which will depress her somewhat and make her no longer experience desirable the two). Lighten the burden. Make her experience like the superb! Do it in love and sincerity!

Answer 4

Next time when you ask for sex, tell him he does not have to use a condom. You use the pill this time and see how he reacts.

In my opinion, I think it is fair that both of you should take turn to use birth control method. How's that sound?

Answer 5

He is being insensitive to your needs, and because of that your sexual relationship is dwindling down to zero. He should respect the fact that you do not want to use birth control pills, not use it against you. Perhaps you might want to see a therapist regarding this issue.