What should a man do in this situation?

Question

A man has a sexual relationship with a woman one time only. The woman assures the man that she is on the pill and does not want children anyway. The man finds out later through a close friend of the woman that she is pregnant and she plans on keeping the child. The man also finds out from the friend that she believes it was a setup to get pregnant. The woman wants the man to be part of the childs life. He is angry about this and does not want to have anything to do with the woman. He feels no attachment to the child. What should he do and what is the moral (not financial) obligation that he has?

Answer 1

i am sooooooooo sorry that he got dupped but the best advise that i can give to him is get a lawyer and if and only if he dont want to be in this childs life...............Terminate his parental rights NOW. dont wit until the baby is born bc child support is a mutha. She was wrong it is not like he were in a relationship and she lied to him (if what friend said is true). he was like a free sperm clinic and besides if he slept with her only once and he did not know her well and she was trying to get pregnant chances r he was not the only possible father. talk to a pro and know his rights early on.

Answer 2

The man in question should have used a condom regardless of what the woman said and now the man will be financially responsible for the child whether he likes it or not. His moral obligation is to develop a relationship with his child because the child is the innocent one. The man shouldn't punish the child for his and the woman's mistake. And who knows, the man might change his feelings when he knows he's a father.

Answer 3

Even though it was a total trap on this womans side of things- you as an adult man should have wore a condom anyway! Alot of girls will lie about that just to get pregnant! And now u see its true! But since its too late for that!!! One it is NOT this childs fault that their mother pulled that sneaky crap! The child is innocent and needs the emotional support and love of his father also. A child needs his father while growing up. You dont have to see the mother- arrange it so someone else can bring the baby to you. You may not feel a bond yet- but wait until u hold this baby in your arms and you can see yourslef in his or hers eyes! Its the most amazing feeling in the world! Enjoy it afterall its your baby! Yes financial help always helps. Always do a money order or check and keep proof that way later she cannot say u didnt pay her! Cover your *** darlin!!! Good luck to u

Answer 4

Dude you made the first and most fatal mistake a man could make. You trusted a woman when it came to sex. You never, EVER take a woman's word for it that she's on the pill, ask to see it, make her take it in front of you. If you were jumping out of a plane, would you take someone's word that there was a parachute for you? No, you'd want to see it. Congratualtions, your ability to only think with one head at a time has now screwed you for the next 18 years. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Your moral obligation is to be that child's father if you are the father. You laid down and took the chance to make that kid, now you have to step up and be a man and take care of it. But at least get a paternity test to make sure that you aren't taking care of someone else's kid.

Answer 5

Well I am sorry you were so trusting but if you are gonna play you will eventually pay. I do believe he has a moral obligation and I think he should ask or demand a paternity test when the child is born because if he doesn't I am sure she will because she will want child support. Also I would do this under the advice of an attorney.

Answer 6

First off, never trust ANY woman who tells you they're on the pill. That's the worst thing you could ever do. I was just talking about this with someone the other day. They will say that to trap you.

If I were in this situation, I would just beat the living hell out of her. Woman or not, she deserves it. You could always let her have the child and then wait until she does something stupid and steal custody of the child. Turn things around on her. That's probably the best thing to do. If she does any drugs or anything like that you know of, use that as leverage.

Answer 7

the man has a right to be bitter. if she lied about her being on birth control, she's wrong. getting pregnant to keep a man is wrong. in the end, it can cause resentment on the man's part. even though it's not a situation that he wanted to be in or planned for, he needs to step up and prepare to be a father. he does not have to have a relationship with the mother of the child. (trust might always be an issue) but this child deserves a father. it's the right thing to do. there's no question about that.

p.s. a DNA test might not hurt! if there's a possibility that she lied about birth control, who know what else she may have lied about!

Answer 8

There are a couple of lessons here.
(1) Don't have sex with strange women.
(2) If you do have sex with a strange woman, use a condom.
Since you didn't follow those rules, you now have an obligation for 50 percent of the financial support for a child for the next 18 years. But you should certainly insist on a DNA test.
Now, I don't blame you if you want nothing to do with the lying skank. But if you don't want anything to do with your child, you definitely have emotional problems.
Perhaps you should get a vasectomy.

Answer 9

WHETHER IT WAS A SETUP OR NOT IT IS HIS CHILD!!
MEN NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL WHERE THEY LEAVE THEIR SPERM AND WITH WHO. MOST WOMAN ARE VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT AND DON'T CARE WHAT OR WHO THEY HAVE TO DO TO GET IT! THEY CAN MAKE A MAN BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY WANT AND AS LONG AS SEX IS INVOLVED THEN MEN USUALLY FALL FOR IT. HE HAS NO REASON TO ACTUALLY BE WITH THIS GIRL BUT HE DOES HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO HIS CHILD WHETHER IT WAS PLANNED OR NOT. HOW CAN HE FEEL NO ATTACHMENT TO HIS CHILD? WHETHER IT WAS PLANNED OR NOT IT IS YOUR BLOOD. NOW, I WOULD GET A BLOOD TEST AND THEN IF THIS IS HIS CHILD BE A MAN,LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES,LOVE YOUR CHILD AND STOP HAVING SEX WITH WOMAN JUST BECAUSE THEY GIVE YOU A LINE OF ****.

Answer 10

1. Most important lesson you've learned: ALWAYS WEAR CONDOMS WHEN HAVING SEX WITH STRANGE WOMEN
2. You should always keep things on civil terms with the mother and the child. (Unless its not yours - get a paternity test ASAP)
Even though you don't want anything to do with the child now, you may change your mind later on.

Don't close any doors that you can't re-open

Morally, there's no right or wrong answer. Choosing to be in the childs life (and its mother's) and resenting them both is going to ruin both their and your lives. Try to keep things civil and don't skimp out on your financial obligations.