Harold is 82 and having some prostate problems. After examining him, the doctor gives him a specimen jar and says "Take this home with you, and try to produce a semen specimen. Stop by tomorrow and drop it off so I can run a few tests."
Harold takes the jar and heads home. The next day Harold comes in and asks to speak with the doctor. When he is taken into the office, the doctor asks how he made out. "Not good, Doc." Says Harold. "I went home and tried to do what you said. I tried with my right hand 'til it was cramped from the arthritis...no luck. I tried with my left hand, until I had blisters…no luck.
I asked my wife to help me out, so she tried with her left hand and with her right hand.... no luck. She even tried with her mouth. She tried with her teeth in, and she tried with her teeth out...no luck. Then we called Edna, next door, to see if she could help...."
"Good Grief man!" exclaimed the doctor, "You asked your neighbor to help you?"
"Yep." says Harold, "None of us could get the lid off that jar."
2006-07-25 02:54:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
HAHAHAHA...
another:
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
2006-07-25 05:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by Em 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I heard a similar joke about a man who was asked to give a urine sample and for whatever reason, he had his whole family pee in the cup. I forget exactly how the joke went, but the punchline was something like, "Well, Mr. Thompson, you're fine, but your son has marijuana in his system, your daughter has VD, and your wife is pregnant."
2006-07-25 03:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Schmancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your jokes are astounding... right here's one for you... a guy walks right into a psychiatrists workplace wearing a diaper made up of plastic wrap and under no circumstances some thing else. The health care professional takes one seem at him and says.... get waiting for it... "obviously i can SEE, YOUR NUTS!"
2016-11-25 22:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG Funny...even funnier is that the neighbor was Edna. I'll bet she REPORTS you for such an ornery joke!
2006-07-25 02:56:20 · answer #4 · answered by aerosmithbaby05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke of the century!!! lolololololol
2006-07-25 04:59:35 · answer #5 · answered by police 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahaaha Loved this one!
2006-07-25 03:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha!!! i'm roolimg on the floor from laughter! not kiddin!
2006-07-25 08:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by la♥chiva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha my grandma told me that yesterday! ewwwwwww
2006-07-25 03:01:08 · answer #8 · answered by Chuck M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! I like it!
2006-07-25 09:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by danb135 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bol!
2006-07-25 03:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋