do you as parents think that a teenage daughter of 16 should be allowed to leave home?

Question

she is 16 and we all know that he uses cocaine. I have done my best to try and keep her at home. Letting her know that she is loved and she does have a lovely family etc, but to no avail. He is 22 and i feel that he is too old for her.is this just me or are there other families with this problem? Please let me know as it is now ruining my whole family.

We live in spain in an ex pat community and it is very hard to Know what to do as far as lagalities go. The laws are so very different here and I have noticed that the kids here seem to loose a lot more respect for thier parents because they believe that we dont know whats going on out ther on the streets. I also have a 5 year old daughter who is being terribly upset by all this. my partner has given up now and wont even speak to my eldest. I am constantly in the middle..... help

p.s I only know that her boyfriend uses cocaine. I dont know for sure if she does. I dont think she does..... yet

Answer 1

if you dont let her go, she will do whatever she can to do it anyway. my advice being only 6 years older than your daughter and recently out of prison, is be her support network, but you have to let her go. she can emancipate herself, or even just runaway. let her go, but tell her that she is welcome back anytime and that you love her. take away her key, and keep everything at your house locked. tell her that if she wants to move back, youll give her key back. sometimes if she actually sees the finality in actually leaving, she will think twice about it, and if not, trust me when life gets too hard, if you are open and supportive and she knows it, she will always think of you and your home as a safe haven and come back to you

Answer 2

My parents are having the same problem with my little sister, she is 17 now, but her boyfriend was a drug addict and controlled every step she made. Then she got pregnant with his son, now that the baby is born, the boyfriend uses the baby against everybody. It is an awful situation. Luckily for the time being he is in a different state right now for work. But my sister will break up with him and then as soon he says he is sorry, she is right back with him. My sister is mad at everybody that does not like him, including me. Sometimes teenagers dont know what is best for them and that we are only trying to protect them. But there is no way we can keep her away from him. It's causing alot of problems because he is nuts. Good luck to ya!!!!

Answer 3

Just be there for her when this crashes and burns. I understand how you feel and it's hard to see someone you love go down the wrong path.

16 is too young and the parents could have her picked up as a runaway and she would or could be sent to a juvenile detention center. If this guy is 22 he can be arrested for statutory rape even if the relationship is consensual.

good luck to you and your family

Answer 4

first of all, you can't "keep" her at home, she will just rebel more. second of all, that guy is way to old for her. third of all.... get her to a treatment center, a residential program. and you as the family will need a recovery program too.
I'm in Michigan and we have a great place here that I can't speak of enough, Sacred Heart rehab center. you can search for a good one in your neighborhood on-line. also, check out "intervention" on A&E I think that it is on thursday nights at 10est.
I say all this from my experiance with my fiance.... he's been clean now for 18 months and counting. He has become very active in the NA program in our area, starting new meetings, counsuling others and helping them, he writes a super cool news letter for our entire area, and he just plan lives the program.
Good luck and do a little research on-line for a good rehab.

Answer 5

I would report him to the police. Most police departments will be more than glad to assist you. A 22 year old with a 16 year old is against the law in most states. ( check your jurisdiction's laws) She is still a minor.She'll hate you for a while - but it will be worth it in the long run.I know it sounds drastic - but nothing you can say to her at this age will change her mind. You will have to take action.

Answer 6

she is only 16 keep her tail at home. you are still the parent and she is still a minor. there are too many parents now saying that they can't control there child. Get in control. You will have to be on guard all of the time. Get a restraining order out on the guy so if he comes around you can have him arrested

Answer 7

She needs a slap! Tell the 22yo to f*** off, take your daughter to get counselling and refuse to let her speak to this guy, leave the house alone even for school - take her and collect her - and generally make sure she doesn't have enough freedom to do anything she shouldn't.

She might eventually thank you for being so caring (but don't count on it!)

Answer 8

He is to old and apparently a bad influence on your daughter...I feel regardless of the situation we are responsible for our children up to 18 years of age...and then legally they are responsible for their own actions and our guidance can be followed or challenged...and its still our responsibility to our children to be supportive with their success and failures...but having a cocaine habit is not allowing her to make healthy choices...you have a couple more years to change that...good luck.

Answer 9

Hell no! Whose in charge over there? You, or the 22 drugged out BF? Have his butt brought up on charges for statutory rape, and check her into some sort of clinic! You can have her committed some place outside the home.

Answer 10

A: call the police (after you have beaten the hell out of the pervert for messing w/a minor) and report his drug use
B: Put her into therapy or counseling
C: If that doesn't work -take him out into the field and shoot him (that's actually my first choice)