I am thinking about online dating. Any suggestions? Warnings? Other?

Question

After countless days of trying to meet people in the real world, I have decided to consider online dating. I am not sure what to expect at all. Is this really a good way to meet nice decent normal people? Do all web sites charge or are there some for free. Please let me know if you have any info. thanks!

Answer 1

there is nothing like the real thing. i wouldn't reccomend online dating. get out more and don't give up hope of finding that someone!

c'mon girl.......your SUPERWOMAN

Answer 2

I used dating sites for a few years and met my fiance on one. So, yes, you can meet decent people on them. In fact, most of the people I met were fine.

When writing your ad, try to convey who you are and what you would like in a partner. Try not to make it too long or too short. Look at other ads to see which ones are appealing. Include a pic of yourself (nothing revealing or seductive). I think Match.com has pointers on how to write a good ad. I just tried to be myself. My ad was pretty specific (spiritual vegetarian) so I didn't get tons of hits but the hits I got were more serious and specific. If your ad isn't very specific, you will probably get more people you don't want to hear from.

When you do hear from someone, if you are interested, write back to them. If not, you can ignore the first email. Take the time to get to know someone a bit through email, chat and on the phone before deciding to meet. There is no hurry to meet in person. If someone tries to rush you into meeting, that is a warning sign. If you ever get a bad feeling about someone, make sure to listen to it. Don't give out any info which will enable someone to locate you until you feel completely safe with them.

When you do decide to meet, do it in a VERY public place where there are lots of people - like at a mall or a coffee shop - during the day. Make sure you meet him there (don't let him pick you up) and if you have a close friend, your friend could even go to the mall or coffee shop at the same time as you to keep an eye on you. Also have a cell phone with you.

As far as free sites, when I started with them, most of them were free for women to put up a profile and receive and respond to messages. I think that has changed. Although if you look around, you may find some that are free. I believe Match.com and YahooPersonals now charge both men and women to communicate. There are a few sleazy dating sites out there, so steer clear of those.

There are many dating sites out there which are specific to interests. For example there is Veggie Date (for vegetarians), Christian Singles (for Christians), Spiritual Singles (for spiritual people), Green Singles (for those interested in saving the earth) - you get the idea. It might be good to find a dating site specific to your interests, but it's not necessary. If you can find several free ones, post your ads on all of them. The more sites you join, the more chances you have to meet the right person.

Good luck and feel free to write if you have more questions.

Answer 3

It has its pros and cons. Some sites will charge you a monthly fee for the full array of services and accessibility to other members profiles. You will be asked to answer several questions in order to create a profile so people with similar interest to yours may contact you. You can post photos and depending on the site there will be rules as to what content the photos may have.

If you are unto meeting people for a serious relationship please be advised, women have been raped by person (s) they met on these sites, women have been killed. Also, a lot of women have fell in love with people that only wanted to play games and are not ready to commit.

But if you are looking for friends (like the pen pals of old), you might as well find them there or here.

Never meet people alone, set your encounters to public places, do not go alone, make a thousand questions, believe nothing they say, and then make a thousand more questions. Play it safe and keep an open mind. Please do not be naive, they might be telling the truth and again they might not. The Internet is the perfect mask, you can be anything you want to be and pretend to be anything you want to.

Just be careful.

Answer 4

I met my hubby online and I have been with him for 5 yrs and we have a daughter together, I met him on AOL instant messanger, and all I have to say to talk to the person a little while before meeting them in person, just take note to any thing you may think is a little wierd, just be really careful and when meeting him meet in a place where there is a lot of people and if he were to try to do anything to you that you dont want done dont scream for help instead scream Fire because when you scream help everyone knows you need help but your not as likely to get anyone to help you as you are when you yell fire because everyone will stop and look. Good luck and be careful.

Answer 5

i've tried four different web personals - i have not no luck with any of them. I have met a few women, but no matches. Most of the female profiles are fake - just trying to get guys' e-mail address so they can send porn sites to them. It is really frustrating.

Of the real people who are there, most are either crazy, white-trash, or just plain fu-cked up in the head.

There are the rare few who are nice/normal people (like me) but there are not many of us out there.

I am sure that women get burried with responses so you should be able to go on tons of dates and meet lots of guys. Just don't give personal info (phone number, address, town you live in, last name....) and meet people in a public place.

It probably couldn't hurt to have some pepper spray with you...don't be paranoid, just be prepared.

Answer 6

I've never seen a legitimate site not charge. I very strongly suggest that in the beginning you don't put that you are looking for a relationship, if you do you'll be hearing from all kinds of people, most of whom you wouldn't want to even be aquianted with. Saying your are in search of a relationship is like saying your desperate and will take anything. Start slowly. If someone asks you for your photo, phone number, or to have them added to your "friends" on any of your IMs right off the bat drop that person fast! I did that with a co woker's father in law and he called me dozens of times a day as well as emailed me and messaged me...I had to get rid of the messenger I was using because of him and change my email address/identity.

Answer 7

I tried it a few years ago. I met three women. All three were very nice people. The first one was very nice in her emails and on the phone but when we met it was obvious that she lied about her age and used an old picture. It was too much like dating my grandmother so I moved on. If you have white hair consider a dye job if you're out there.

The next one said she wanted a serious relationship. I was a little wary but her emails were so hot so I met her. Over lunch she told me she was mayor of her town and was married so she needed an out of town affair to ease the stress. I didn't want her local paper comparing me to Monica Lewinski if the secret ever got out. I wasn't ready for that so I tried again.

The third one looked really good in her pictures and we exchanged emails and phone calls for a couple of months. I couldn't wait to meet her and she wanted me to come visit.
I picked her up at her house 100 miles from home. We went out for the afternoon to a local festival. We ran into my exsister-in-law and I introduced them. I don't know what they talked about when I went for ice cream but it couldn't have been good. After that she stopped being so talkative and was cool towards me when I took her home.After the date I emailed her and never got a reply. I don't have any secrets that my sister -in-law could tell her about and she says they just made small talk.
Well whatever. The only one I liked didn't like me.

I'm thinking of trying again. Avoid sites like adultfreindfinder.com Unless you want guys sending you pictures of their private parts. I tried it and have 15 women under 30 who want me. I suspect that I would have to pay them for their services. I said I was looking for someone over 35.

Then I tried bigchurch.com it's a christian dating site. I thought there would be less whores there. Now I have been contacted by a woman who lives within driving distance but I have to be a paying member to respond to her. I'm not sure I should because I'm not that good a Christian. If She wants me to go to church or discuss scripture I can't do it. I was raised by nuns and have had plenty of experience in angering people who preach to me.

Eharmony is more of a matchmaking website. They pick your dates. The dating sites tell you who's your match but you're free to contact anyone who looks interesting.

I think the best places to try are Yahoo personals or MSN personals.
You find them at yahoo.com or msn.com and click on the link for personals.

Answer 8

1:Never let anyone pick you up from your house,always meet them somewhere. 2:Always meet somewhere there are alot of people around. 3:Never get in the car with them always drive yourself to the destination,this is safe(also comes in handy if the date is not going well you can excuse yourself to the bathroom and dip out the side door.lol) 4:Never let them know where you live or work until after the 3rd or 4th date and you feel safe enough to do so. 5:Just be very careful,i tried this once,very glad i always drove myself,never found mr.right just alot of mr.wierdos. Good luck God bless:O)

Answer 9

I honestly think E-Harmony is a scam. it limits your options.
Try Yahoo! personals and do NOT post your photo, just a profile.
You approach men whose photos/profiles you like, and have a photo exchange before a phone conversation.
If/When you do meet, he comes to YOUR hometown, and he stays in a motel. After each has visited the other's town and met key family members and you have had many, many phone conversations, you can then be an item.
I would also get books of compatibility questions to bring out EVERY likely point of conflict.
I met my amazing wife online that way, and we have been married for three years. Since we met, she has finished her bachelor's degree and both of our lives have vastly improved in many ways.

Answer 10

It's great for a girl but sucks for a guy. I've heard from other women that a lot of guys online just want sex...not entirely true.
Basically, there's too many guys and not enough women.
plentyoffish.com is all free. Good luck!

Answer 11

I say go for it. I met my boyfriend in a chat room, and its been 8 months now. Just be dont give out any info that could be used to locate you unless you really get to know the person first. I suggest using a cell phone and not your home phone at first....happy hunting