my boyfriends mother had an affair before he was born with his biological father. The person that he now know's to be his dad knew about the affair but my boyfriend still wants to find his biological father. Problem is this: his mother is reluctant to give him any details as his biological father was also having an affair and his wife and other children know nothing about my boyfriends existance. a) what should he do and b) how can he go about finsing his biological dad?
2006-07-25 01:27:45 · 10 answers · asked by *Dee* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your boyfriend has every right to find his father and want to meet him. He shouldn't have to be punished this way just because of their mistakes in the past.His mother shouldn't be trying to protect this other man after all these years because that's exactly what it sounds like. She should care more about how her son is feeling at this point. As for the real father, that would be his problem if he doesn't like that the boy wants to meet him. He made this child behind his wife and kids back and he should have known this type of thing could happen to him. It's not about the two parents anymore it's about your boyfriend now. It's not his fault this all happened. Any child out here would want to meet a parent they have never met. I thnk that he should go ahead with finding his father. He needs to atleast get his fathers name from his mother if he doesn't know it. Once he has a name he needs to go online to websites that will help find relatives and friends that people are looking for. He will definitely be able to find his father online. It won't cost him too much money. People do this type of thing everday. Your boyfriend needs to know where he comes from.
2006-07-25 02:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No matter what if he real father was playing in an affair. He has the right to find him. She just trying to hold out, so he won't get hurt in the progress. Thats understandable. But being his flesh and blood. He needs a chapter in his life close.
Did she ever give him his father name ? Least some name he could go by ? If so, then he could do people search on him. Trying to withhold information from him. Will not solve anything.
He needs to find his father, and see his other kinfolks.
If they don't accept him, least he knows got to see who his father was. But on the other hand, he father might not wanna be found out either.
He could lie, and not accept the truth that he is his son. Then of course, he could not know he ever had another son. Which will be a lose on that side. No matter if he get a chance to be accept in another family or not.
He has the rights to find him.
2006-07-25 08:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by kygl28 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. He needs to know what the consequences may be of finding his biological father. Trust me it is mind blowing finding out you have siblings and if handled incorrectly can seriously mess you up and any relationship your boyfriend might hav with them! I advise talking to an agency which deals with this sort of thing for adopted children. They will be able to give him advice on how to track down his biological father and how to handle making contact and meeting him and family.
You boyfriend also need to talk to his Mum and Dad about this and how he feels before taking this step.
He's going to need someone to support him and love him through all of this and you are that person.
Good luck! Please get the help from the professionals as well though for everybodys sake.
2006-07-25 08:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by ehc11 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is best left alone. By opening up this can of worms he could potentially hurt a lot of people. If the man he has known to be his father all this time has accpted this and him and treated him as if he were his own then he must respect that and move on. I know it is hard and wanting to find your "roots" is a normal feeling but he must think of the consequenses.
2006-07-25 08:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by MissBehave 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think ur b/f should give up searching for his biological dad as it will give him nothing except pain
and the biggest thing is that it might brake his biological dad`s present family
so i`ll suggest ur b/f to restart a life forgetting all about past
becoz life is all about moving forword and not looking behind
2006-07-25 08:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by tulipssmith 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try zabasearch.com its free and if that doesnt work tell your mom if she doesnt tell you the truth you will call montel williams and then the whole family can tell the truth in front of the whole world,this tactic should scare the truth out of her.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-07-25 10:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe the Salvation Army have a missing person service and it's supposed to be very effective.
2006-07-25 08:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is best left alone - sometimes when you pick at old wounds bigger scars open up - it could end up with your boyfriend being really hurt
2006-07-25 08:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by Joanne A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he already has a father a real man that accepted him even though he wasnt his and raised him anyway, he should stop looking and tell that man thank you
2006-07-25 08:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by asphaltangel77 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try friends reunited, this is how i found my mum.
2006-07-25 08:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by The Way 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋