you indeed are a good Friend!! yes contact the parents.ask them to not make mention where they heard this from even if your girlfriend knows. she will thank you later once shes sober.she no longer is functional. does not go out, does not teach anymore? this is serious. she can only be helped if she wants to help herself. but,with a caring friend like you ,you may just be the one to help her find her way back before its to late or shes worse dead!!!!!!!!be ready to prepare yourself if she gets mad although i would not care or take offense since shes sick that way.also, be be prepared to be by her side ,no matter what. she will need you and you are gifted to care for someone that much. so make the call or write the letter asap. you may not be able to do anything now for her until she gets treatment. then just be there to listen or moral support. thanks Kat
2006-07-24 23:53:43
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Trickyk, she hardly 'sticking her nose in', shes just a good friend who's concerned for her friends welfare. It would be a shame if everyone in the world had your attitude and let everyone 'just get on with it'. Then unhappy, ill,people would think nobody cared what they did, which wouldn't help the situation they may be in.
Have you visited your friend? All you can do is love and support her, because, at the end of the day, only she can want to stop and get help, but she might need a shoulder along the way. I think her parents and yourself have to join together and support her. Just don't give up caring, people need to feel cared about.
2006-07-25 06:25:49
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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If you have to time for intervention then by all means do it. She will not help herself. Involve her family and other friends for more support. Also contact Alcoholics Annonymous and other support organizations to help provide you with what you will need to take on this tought job. Be ready and realize this will not be easy by any means. If she has not hit rock bottom yet she will probably not be ready to quit. Unfortunately for most you need to hit the bottom before you can rise to the top. It's sad to see but people do make it back. I'm a perfect example. Sober for over 15 years now. Here's a tip. Video of how I was really helped to open my eyes. I hope this helps you out. Bless you....
2006-07-25 06:23:42
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answer #3
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answered by ditto 1
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Hi,
I think telling her parents might backfire. Should your friend discover you had done that, she could be your ex-friend. Has she alienated her other friends, or do they still come around? cause if they don't, then losing faith in you could be the last straw.
You say her parents already know she has a drink problem, so they must be unable to provide the help and support this girl needs.
I agree that she does need help to see that what happened to her as a child was absolutely none of her fault, cause adults who were abused as children carry unnecessary guilt with them.
We all have bad things happen to us, just some people seem to have that something inside them that makes them run for oblivion. They do not have the skills to cope with life.
The alcoholics I came into contact with needed alcohol to cope with any situation. Something good,---celebrate with a drink. Something bad,---push it away with a drink,---stayed off drink for a whole week,--I deserve a drink.
So these are two separate issues.
Have you tried to advise her to seek some help from her doctor?
Would it be possible for yourself or one of her friends to contact one of the churches who have recovering alcoholics. We have a couple of churches in my wee part of the world who do that.
They don't come across as holy rollers, just ordinary people who have found a purpose in life strong enough to conquer their disabilities.
Lastly, when you call her, please don't make the conversation all about her problems, chat to her as you would to any of your mates, and try to make your calls quite regular, so she has a lifeline who isn't constantly telling her how to live her life, cause this is how she will percieve it. Guilt about heavy drinking tends to make one extra sensitive.
I do hope your friend finds some release from the torment she is living with.
2006-07-25 06:58:25
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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very difficult to help her - normally alcoholics 'bottom out' reaching a point at which they recognise that they cant keep on drinking before they stop or get help quitting.. but thats a unique point for every one. maybe an event will occur to make her want to change. the other thing is she cant really quit drinking until she finds another way top cope with the underlying reason for her drinking, which may be the reason you have identified. a further consideration is that if she is physically addicted to alcohol then it is dangerous to stop without medical advice / treatment
2006-07-25 06:19:14
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Why on earth would you want to bring her parents bad news?. Also why on earth would you want to tell people on a forum like this that your friend was sexually abused? Can you imagine how she would feel if she knew you had written this?
You cant 'fix' anything for this woman, you can facilitate her when she needs help, thats all. She clearly has issues that need to be addressed and until she wants to address them I would remain in the background and possibly make her aware of the options of help out there for her.
Below are a few sites of interest...good luck!
2006-07-25 06:35:04
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answer #6
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answered by mrogynist 2
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its a difficult one seeing a friend turn to booze, or any other dependancy. There is not a lot you can do aside from trying to engage and encourage the person to seek help.
prgrammes like AA are worthwhile, but only if the person actaully wants to make the change themselves. its is pointless coercing or forcing someone to do something they dont want to, they are not children. unless they see a need to overturn te behaviour it wont happen, and that need comes from within not from without. They need to see somethign worht living for.
I wouldn't give up on a friend, but its a long haul, you need to be prepared to be treated like sh1t. A suggestion: try to find things to do that don't involve alcohol - diffcult to do (window shopping, cinema, go to a park, try to develop a bond with the 'new' person. Encourage your friend to see new horizins, mebbe goto a gym, swimming pool, but perhaps most of all show your friend that you care as a friend.
what ever else you do don't make it into your lifes crusade - it will end up dragging you into the mire that is drug dependancy.
2006-07-25 06:24:04
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answer #7
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answered by Mark J 7
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This is the classic downward spiral of an alcoholic, the only thing you can do is to try to get her to A.A. or to com it her self to a clinic. From the outside you see the problem but from the inside your Friend doesn't alcohol is cunning, baffling and deceitful. DO NOT try an intervention that only breeds resentment. when she reaches her bottom, when she's as low as she can go then and only then can she start to see the one true path. To all who read this say a prayer for those still suffering this malaise. :0
2006-07-25 06:30:51
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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If your friend is drinking due to the abuse she suffered as a child then she is in need of some intensive therapy, for both diagnosis'. When we allow psychological wounds manage our lives instead of getting them into perspective we seek out things such as drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. SHE IS IN PAIN! Help your friend realize that the alcohol is a secondary problem to her abuse, left untreated she is a train wreck, all you can do is watch her derail.
2006-07-25 06:21:42
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answer #9
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answered by want2flybye 5
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You can't do anything for her, but accept that she has made the choice to carry on drinking.
Do this with love and compassion and maybe think about getting in touch with AL-ANON family groups. It is an "organisation" that can give you the support you may need.
You may find that as your friends drinking is causing you problems then the help Al-Anon can give you will prove invaluable.
2006-07-25 06:36:09
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answer #10
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answered by honey lugs 3
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