I'm engaged and the wedding is in 3 months time. We have been engaged since December and living together?

Question

Since 2003. I was married unhappily for 20 years and got divorced almost 5 years ago. I was very sure up till now but is this just wedding nerves or should I reconsider. I don't want to get divorced again and the invitations are about to go out and everything is booked and paid for

Answer 1

I was unhappily married for 10 years and after my divorce i met a great guy. He started asking me to marry him a few years ago and I wasn't ready, so I said no. Well, now Ive realized that he is the one and I said yes, but since we started planning the wedding I've been getting more and more nervous. Even today I'm still asking myself if it's the right choice and every time I ask I come up with the same answer. Planning a wedding is stressful, we had a 45 minute fight about the color of ribbons on the invitations and I realized that this man loves me for who I am with no pretense. I love him and even if planning this wedding puts strain on us we will make it through and be happy the rest of our lives together. Think of it this way, you're making a more informed decision this time, you know what can go wrong but here you are ready to mail invitations. If you love this man and he loves you it will all work out in the end.

Answer 2

Well you know that wedding vows are not the be all and end all that you thought they were the first time around.

Your wedding day is just a step on the road - whether you have had a wedding day or not breaking up with your current love will be hard even if it doesn't have the label 'divorce' on it. You also know that the wedding day isn't a panacea against a relationship going sour.

If you want to make this public delcaration of your commitment to your new partner then go for it and stop worrying about the future - that will take care of itself. If you don't feel ready to make that declaration then stop it. It doesn't mean the end of your relationship just that you aren't ready to take the public step.

Answer 3

Everyone gets pre wedding nerves, i know i did!! you just need to work out if they are just nerves or actual second thoughts. Think really hard, how would you feel if your man walked out the door and never came back? does the idea fill you with dread? Who says you would get divorced again if you married, just because it happened once doesnt mean it will happen again. Go away for a girls weekend, away from everything so you can have a good think. I think you know the answer to this question already.

Answer 4

if you have any serious doubts you should reconsider, but on the other hand it could just be wedding nerves, look at what you are doubting, as this should be your special day, and you don't want to have nagging doubts, can you discuss this with anyone. And just because your first relationship ended in divorce does not mean this one will. But if you do not want to go through with it, don't, everything is booked and paid for, but you are talking about your happiness here, and that is all that matters, other people will be upset and might not understand where you are coming from, but that don't matter, all that matters here is you, i wish you well

Answer 5

Only you can make this decision.
The first thing you need to consider is this: Don't think about the money or how much planning is done. Right now you need to concentrate on your feelings.
It sounds like nerves because you were married before and don't want a divorce, but you don't want to get married and find out you were wrong. This is something you have to figure out on your own take some time by yourself. This isn't something I would go running to your fiance about though because he would just say it is nerves. Most likely it is but again you don't want to be wrong. Take a weekend trip by yourself and get away.

Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

If you love each other, you talk about everything and you have no secrets then your marriage will be fine. The wedding is another matter. Perhaps it's the thought of displaying your commitment to so many people when you know that you were not able to fulfil that commitment in your previous marriage. Forget about that one; just look ahead to a wonderful union with your new man.

Answer 7

Only you can answer this, it could be pre wedding nerves but you need to be sure you are doing the right thing before it is too late. If you are happy living together why get married?

Answer 8

If you were sure up until recently, then ask yourself if there is any real reason for you to doubt now. If you don't have an answer, then try one other thing. If you have a good immagination, try running the 'scenario' of calling off the wedding and all that it entails in your minds eye, and see how it makes you feel, it's important that you're honest with yourself. GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

If he has proved to you beyond a doubt that he is the ONE then don't give it another thought! Good men are hard to come by and stick to one when you have the chance girl. I'm 31 and single still and I so long to have a family be it married or not. So go for it and list down a point system of pro's and con's and you will decide for yourself.

Answer 10

it might be wedding nerves. but if your having second thoughts,you need to ask yourself am i ready to marry. You shouldnt marry if your not 100%. But like i said it could be nerves,i am getting maried 2nd time round next year. And i am getting nervous already. And i am sure you boyfriend is feeling just as nervous too.