What's the best dum blonde joke you know?

Question

So this blonde wearing headpnones walks into a salon wanting a haircut. She tells the stylist no matter what don't take the headphones off. The stylist thinks it a bit weird but shurgs it off and proceeds to cut the blondes hair avoiding the headphones. As she is about finished the haircut she notices the only hair that is uneven is under the headphones. She thinks to herself, 'I'll just take them off real quick and snip snip I'll be done, and put the headphones right back on.' So she whips off the headphones real quick but the blonde starts to gasp and carry on till she turns blue and passes out dead. The stylist says omygod what have i done. In shock she puts the headphones on and hears, "Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath......"

Answer 1

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead on the roof of a building that was on fire. The firemen evacuating the building held out a blanket as a safety net and told the brunette to jump. When she did, then pulled it away and.. SPLAT! The brunette was crushed as she hit the earth. Then the redhead was told to make the plunge and she was like "no way, I just saw what you did to that brunette!" and the firemen in reply said "oh well we just didn't like her" so she, as well, jumped to her death. Now it was the blondes turn and she was like "I'm not jumping, put the blanket on the ground and then I'll jump!"



I got more....



I knew a blonde so stupid she...

thought "Meow Mix" was a CD for cats.

saw a sign that said "airport left" so she turned around and went home.

found out that 95% of crimes happen around the home, so she moved.


Q. How do you confuse a blondie?
A. Put her in a circle and tell her to pee in the corner!


Three blondes were fishing in a lake that was forbidden to fish in one day. And as you know it, the game warden comes up and says "you guys know, you can't fish here" and one blonde in reply says "oh we just have magnents on our rods" and they lift it up, and as so, there were magnents on each one so he leaves them be. Then after he leaves another blonde says "damn, that's a stupid fish cop, doesn't he know there's steelhead trout in here?"



A blonde goes into an electronics store one day to buy a TV. She finds the perfect one in there and asks the sales clerk if she can buy it. He says "no, I don't sell to blondes." So she leaves, dyes her hair red, and comes back the next day with the same question, and alas she is once told again "I don't sell to blondes." Annoyed she leaves, dyes her hair brown, and comes back the next day with the same answer that he doesn't sell to blondes. A week goes by and she dyes her hair black thinking "oh he'll never reconize me" so she walks into the shop with the same question "can I buy that TV?" The man once again says "I don't sell to blondes." Finally, infuriated, she asks "how do you know I'm a blonde!!??" And in reply he says "Because, that's a microwave."



A blonde was fixing a planter on a balcony 11 storys high one day where she falls. At the 9th story a man grabs her and asks if she sucks. She's like "ew no!" so he drops her. 6th story another man grabs her and asks if she f--ks. Again she's like "ew no!" At the 3rd story, near her death another man grabs her and she suddenly screams "I suck, I f--k! Just save me!" and he's like "ew s--t!" and drops her.

Answer 2

neptunekh
1 second ago




A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. The blonde approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was. A little while later, however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.

Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie."

Answer 3

this is kinda long, but a good laugh...

so there are three college ladies...short on cash...
so they decide to rob a bank. ones a redhead, ones a brunette, and ones a blonde. and the blonde is in charge of the get away car...
course, she forgets, and the other ladies come running out of the bank, and the blonde is standing there confused with no get away car...so hearing sirens, they all start running towards an alley.
turns out, its a dead end.
in the alley is a cardboard box, a trashcan, and a burlap sack...the redhead leape into the box, the brunette into the trashcan, and the blonde has to scramble into the burlap sack.
so the police run into the alley, and look around.
one officer kicks the box, and hears "meow....meow..."
he says "damn cats..."
so the next officer kicks the trashcan, and hears "grr...woof!"
and says "stupid dogs..."
and then the last officer kicks the lumpy burlap sack and hears...nothing...so he kicks it again, and hears, "potatoes, DUH!"

hehe...that always made me laugh...
and one more, if you dont mind...its a laugher too...

so this blondes dad passes away, and leaves her a few million dollars...
so, she orders a yacht to be delivered to her house, and goes out to buy some blue paint...and lots of it.
when the delivery man drives up with the yacht a week later, he says, "lady, what are you doing with this big ol thing? there isnt water for miles around here...!"
the blonde laughs and tells him to leave it on the lawn...now oddly, painted blue...
the man shrugs and leaves the boat there...
then the blonde goes out with a pitcher of lemonade, a lawn chair, and some tanning lotion, and lays out...
a few minutes later, another blonde drives by in her convertable...and leans out the window...
she looks at the lady on the boat and shouts, "you know, its blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad! and if i could swim, i would come out there and kick your a$$!!!!"

oh god, those are both classic!

Answer 4

A guy walks onto a plane. His seat was next to a blond.
He askes if she wants to play a game. The game was about riddles.
The rules were:
If he guessed the answer right, or she couldn't guess the answer to his riddle, she gives him $10.
If he couldn't guess the answer, or got it wrong, to her riddles, he gives her $100.

He started, "What is a dirty fairy called"
She thought real hard, and didn't know, she handed him $10.

The blonde asked, "What's black, white, and red all over"
He handed her $100.

Then he asked what was the answer anyway?
She handed him $10

And the game didn't end till they got off.

Answer 5

There are 50 blondes waiting at the gate of haven. So there comes, the infamous saint peter and tell them "I'll grant all of you each with one final wish b4 u enter so that you could be happy in Haven".

So the first blonde being tired of being blonde her whole life ask for her wish.. "Pls make me a red head".

And poooh!!! here it goes a red head.

The second one saw the transformation and so pls that she asked for the same thing.. and so it go on and on and on.

Then here come the last one who wasn't paying much attention happily ask her question.

"Where are all my blondes friends? Could you bring them back so that I wouldn't be the only blonde in here?

Answer 6

ha that was funny!

i luv blonde jokes


here's mine



A man had a hot date with a sexy blonde girl and he wanted to get an all-over tan. He went to his apartment rooftop to tan naked. Unfourtunatly, he fell asleep and got a really bad sunburn on his (can I say this on here?) penis.

So that night, he went to the blonde's apartment, trying to ignore his burn. They were watching a video when "Mini-Me" started to get really irritated.

So he rushed to the kitchen and poured himself a nice tall glass of milk. He felt instant relief as he dipped his burning penis into the glass.

The blonde rushed in, saw what her date was doing and said "So that's how you load those things?"

Answer 7

a blonde and brunette fell off the same roof at the same time,
weigh the same,but the brunette hits the sidewalk 5 minutes before the blonde...how come????????????????







the blonde stopped to ask 4 directions!!!!!!

Answer 8

it was tickling!check out mine
there was a blonde who was driving down d hill-side & saw another blonde in the midst of a farm house within a boat who was tryin' to sail in d fields. the one got fierce & shouted aloud :-
STUPID blondes like u spoil our community's glory(of course that of blondes)! if i knew swimming; iwould have come there & gave u a tight slap.

Answer 9

LOL.....


Elle Belle is quite good too on blonde jokes

Answer 10

nice