A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.
For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad.
Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.
Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbour? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.
Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"
The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.
I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".
"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?
"Oh, a few minutes ago", replied the man.
2006-07-24 17:35:41 · 15 answers · asked by Doug B 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's not as good as the 3 nuns at the pearly gates joke, but that's okay.It wasn't bad.But just in case you haven't heard it, here it is:
Three nuns die,2 are good nuns, the third has been kinda bad. So St .Pete says to them 'To get into heaven, you have to answer a question.If you get it right, you go to heaven.If not,you go to hell.' So he turns to the first nun and asks 'Who was the first man?' 'Adam' she answers.Bells start ringing, birds start chirping, and the gates to heaven open.So Pete says to the second nun,'Who was the first woman?' 'Eve', the second nun answers.Bells start ringing, birds start chirping, and the gates open.So Pete says to the third nun' Listen, you haven't exactly been toeing the line down there.I saw you with Father Murphy, and Father Reilly.' The third nun goes pale.'So,' Pete continues 'your question's going to be a bit more difficult.What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' 'Ooohh, that's a hard one!' the third nun says.Bells start ringing, birds start chirping and the gates open.
2006-07-24 17:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I heard about these three guys who were at the pearly gates, and St. Peter was coaching them on how to react when they look down on their funerals. He asked each of them to say what they'd hope the mourners would say. The first sorry soul said, "I hope my wife tells everyone how good of a husband and father I was to her and my children over the past thirty years." The second fellow said "I hope my priest tells everyone how devoted I was to Him and the scripture, and I lived my life to help others". The third guy steps up and says, " I'm hoping one of them says 'Look, he's moving'".
2006-07-24 17:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by Pauly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two guys were at the pearly gates waiting to get in. The first guy was dressed in jeans and a leather coat. Peter asks him his name and he says
"Joey Brown! New York cabbie!"
Peter looks in his book and says "Ah yes, Mr Brown! Welcome to Heaven" and hands him a golden staff and a silk robe and ushers him in.
Peter asks the second man his name and he replies
"Johnathan Worthington, minister of the first Presbyterian church of Cleveland for 40 years."
Peter looks through his book and says "Ah yes, Mr Worthington, welcome to Heaven" and he hands him a wooden staff and a linen robe.
The minister looks at the staff and the robe and he starts spluttering "Why, why, I've been a minister preaching for the last 40 years and I get a wooden staff and a linen robe and that, that, cabbie gets a golden staff and a silk robe?!!!"
Peter looks at him and says "Up here we pass out rewards based on results. Sure you preached for 40 years but while you were preaching, people were sleeping. But that man....oh, when he was driving, people were praying!" :o)
2006-07-24 17:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is meant to be a funny tale. yet no, it isn't Biblical. it is not any longer how The Holy Bible explains what occurs even as Christians=believers & followers of Jesus Christ, pass from this existence into Heaven.
2016-10-15 04:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by porterii 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way! The guy would have to wait for the day of resurrection before he could be judged. Cute joke though.
2006-07-24 17:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by GraycieLee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In real life it never happens that way. One has to accept the Saviour before he can enter heaven.
2006-07-24 17:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by Indian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to answer that. Did you make that up? I don't know what type of story that's supposed to be or what the message is.
2006-07-24 17:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by SkyRaider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one.
2006-07-24 17:38:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to the answer about god its just a dam joke and a good joke i might add
2006-07-24 17:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by burnt bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA!
thats pretty funny
2006-07-24 17:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by kitty is ANGRY!™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋