I need some advice about my relationship. I have been dating this girl for about a year now, she is my first girl friend and i am her first boyfriend. To me, this relationship seemed like a light kind of thing that was fun but not too serious.
Next year, however, my girlfriend is going to one college and i am going to another and we are going to be over 100 miles away. Last week i told her that i thought the best thing to do was to just break up at the end of the summer because i didn't think that a long distance relationship would work. From what i have heard and seen, they are extreamly hard to do and i am not up to it. My girlfriend seemed sad but she seemed to understand.
However, today she gave me a letter that she wrote saying how much she really wants to try a long distance relationship and how much she really wants to be with me.
I do not want to do it at all(i also don't want to have this talk with her again). So how do i let her down without hurting her?
2006-07-24 17:23:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell her while you guys had a really fun time for you a long distance relationship wouldn't work. Tell her you're looking forward to being open to new people and new experiences. Tell her you'll certainly keep in touch by e-mail but for you a relationship at this time wouldn't work and that you'll see her at Thanksgiving. Don't let her "guilt" you into staying together because that's not what you want & it'll end up with you either cheating on her or hating her.
2006-07-24 17:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never thought I would give advice like this but for some reason I think it might be the right thing to do in this situation. Since there is no way around hurting her I would continue to be as you are as a couple until you leave. When you are both at different schools there is not much drama that can occur. She may meet someone that interests her so if you want to be the nice guy, try keeping in contact with her for a few weeks and then break it off. She might be relieved or not. Either way you should never stay with someone because you are afraid of hurting their feelings. The longer the wait, the harder the fall. Good luck to you and study hard! :)
2006-07-25 00:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are ready to move on. Pretty much whatever you do her heart will ache for you, as it seems she is in love. You need to have the conversation again and let her know that your time together has been special, but it will have to end when you both go off to school. No matter what if you end the relationship..it willhurt. If it isnt hurting you then thats proof its over. That might help her understand that you just do not feel as deeply about her as she does about you.
2006-07-25 00:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Yourname Here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that YOU can't do it. And that you would like to remain friends. If she doesn't want this then say well the only other thing to do is have an open relationship where you both date other people. Good luck.
2006-07-25 00:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you bout the long distance thing, they never work. anyway, just make sure you let her know that you two are breaking up on good terms. that no matter what happens she has been your first love and that something you could never forget. she holds a special place in your heart. also still stay in contact with her. suggest email etc. goodluck!
2006-07-25 00:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not possible.. but it's a lot better to break it off now and hurt then letting it go on and end up hurting more later... if you don't think your up to it.. break it off.. if you think there is a chance tha it could work try it... but youhave to be honest with her and her with you that the only way anything could work
2006-07-25 00:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to be able to not hurt her so just be honest with her. She will find someone when she goes to college and forget about you.
2006-07-25 00:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TOUGH QUESTION. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO KIND OF HURT HER IF YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO DO THE LONG DISTANCE THING. BE AS NICE AS YOU CAN. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-07-25 00:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by cowboyskid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always ignore the problem until you both go away and hope it will take care of itself once your apart.
2006-07-25 00:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Tamara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with that. Either way she is going to be hurt.
2006-07-25 00:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by sexygothbaby1983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋