I am an Adult. But I feel like she is always on a pedestal my whole life, and I feel like running the other way just not to be like her. Which makes her only look even more perfect than me. I get so sick of the game of comparison. I just want to be me and not hate myself for my own flaws. Anyone else have this problem?
2006-07-24 16:34:33 · 6 answers · asked by cowgirlup64 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes. Only with my dad. The only advice I can give you is this ... remove that pedestal your mom is on ... only you can do it. See your mom as a person ... believe me, she has flaws and faults just like anyone else. Once you do that, a very new relationship will develop between the two of you. Try to see the "comparison game" as a one-sided game ... just don't play. Good luck!
2006-07-24 16:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by huskyhugger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother always think that their children never grow up therefore whatever the children do will never be correct as she thinks that she as a mother she is 100% correct. So it's hard to change her perceptions as she has been looking at you since the day you were born so you are still a baby to her and you still need her close guidance to correct ways. You have to open up and not keeping quiet about the problem you are facing. You have to assure her that you are grown up and can look after yourself. Tell her that it is her time to relax and you to look after her and don't tire herself anymore since she has work so hard when you were a child. Make sure you tell her that you have grown up into a strong and successful person so that she will slowly gain the confidence that she can really and finally let go that baby she has been carrying all these years.
2006-07-24 23:44:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are caught up in a Codependent drama that was instilled in you during early childhood by one or both parents.
i had the same 'on a pedestal' attitude towards my mom. after some psychological work, i realized that my mom often had me and others in the family on a GUILT TRIP with her behavior.
the way out of this trap is to do some self esteem work and look into Codependency for answers and solutions to get you free of her influence and regain your lost self respect and freedom.
2006-07-25 00:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have this problem too. I am always to respect her even though she puts me down. My suggestion is to read up on it. Go online and do a search for controlling mothers, there is lots of info on this. Therapy helps too. You gotta break the chain.
2006-07-25 00:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Chris Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stay away from her and when she calls and asks why...let her know because she makes you feel like a failure...then you'll have that mother daughter conversation...cause she say..."what do you mean? then tell her
2006-07-25 00:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her how you feel and maybe she ill become your friend instede of some nagging old winch
2006-07-24 23:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by SHELIA S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋