2006-07-24 16:11:59 · 34 answers · asked by cat_cat_green 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Farting. It's simply NOT fair that we have to sit on the pew and continue to make everyone think we're paying attention to the pastor when you've ripped one and inside we're all screaming, "Sweet God in Heaven what the hell is that smell?!"
2006-07-24 16:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by Scadle 4 · 9⤊ 3⤋
1) Replace all the hymnals with music by people such as Marilyn Manson, Disturbed, or Rob Zombie
2) Get up and do your own sermon on premarital sex using real life demonstrations
3) Bring a blow up doll with you as your b/f or g/f and tell the minister you're saving yourself for marriage, so you're practicing safe sex.
4) Turn the church choir into a pep band
5) spike the wine/grape juice during the Lord's Supper
6) Take a bath in the holy water
7) pretend to drown during your baptism
Hmm...that's about all I can think of at the moment..give me time though, I'm sure I can come up with more!
2006-07-24 16:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make out
Fart
look at the priest in a BAD horny way
have sex
flirt (been there)
stealing from the collection basket
cry and sob
show off to the girls or guys
SCACTH your butt
pick your nose and then eat it (ewwww)
be talking on your cellphone during service about your night last Friday
take a crying baby and not get out of church but stay there no matter how much the usher tells you nicely to leave.( me being the usher HATE this)
fix your hair and use hair spray
SING VERY LOUDLY when you don't know the words.
fix your nails
2006-07-24 17:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by carolinagirl:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stripping
Mooning someone
Flashing someone
Yell F*ck you to the priest
Throw water at the priest
Fart real loud
Ask chicks out there
Slap the priest
Pour the wine on the holder
Just to name a few things
2006-07-24 16:15:08 · answer #4 · answered by xxXJokerXxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once made change from the collection plate. Didn't want to give them all my cash, so I broke the bill by taking a smaller one. I don't like church anyway.
2006-07-24 17:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jim D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend. Swear. Wear attempting clothes
2006-07-24 16:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of sex at all times. SEX SEX SEX SEX
24/7/365. That's all I can think of. Wish there were 28 hours in a day. I could use them all.
Oh, I gotta go..... that girl ....pretty one...on the third row, second from left? Just flashed a beautiful smile at me. I got a hard on and I got to go and talk to her. NOW.
This is what I do in church. Now, what were you saying I shouldn't do? Can't rememebr.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex,.............................
2006-07-24 16:17:47 · answer #7 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime I go I swear I'm not going to do it but I always find myself scanning the crowd for single attractive women. Amen.
2006-07-24 16:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things u shouldn't do at church shouldnt be done at all
2006-07-24 16:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by M-Town_Beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk about how you are an atheist, fart, sleep during sermons, stand up and yell during the sermon, drink a lot of wine and beer, take drugs, be disrepectful of the religion.
2006-07-24 16:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by doryanne949 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting caught behind the stand thing where the minister talks, and getting caught behind it making out with the minister, AND HE"S MARRIED
My other one is when your little girl wont stop talking and you stand up and shout: "Would you shut the hell up, I'm fuc!king trying to listen to the minister talk! God!!!" ( That one I made up)
2006-07-24 16:15:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋