He calls out my mother's name and says he is 'going to join her' in heaven. I feel so bad that I cave in and do whatever he wants.
How do I stand up to his emotional manipulations????
2006-07-24 16:02:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your father is going through a phase of lonelinessand emptiness and he is seeking your attention, so do not neglect him as when people grow they will grow through this phase without realizing their problem. Yes, it is definately irritating but your father is wanting your attention too so please be a little more tolerant when dealing with elderly as we will also grow old one day and perhaps may also grow through these problem or giving worst problem to our children. Think about how our children is going to treat us if we are like that........
So, even though you know that he is manipulating or faking, just play along with him but remember heart attack is no joke so just watch out because real attack cannot be "act" or "played". Heavy sweating, face turning pale, cold hands and feets cannot be faked!
2006-07-24 16:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drag him to the doctor for every uncomfortable test they can do. Cameras in embarassing places might shut him up. Either he'll check out fine- in which case you tell him he needs emotional therapy- or he actually has an issue and he can be medicated. Chances are that he's depressed and being dramatic to get attention, but he's being unhealthy for both of you. There's drugs and therapy for that too.
You know he's faking it so CALL HIM ON IT! Every time he starts to fake another episode, walk out of the room, get the phone, come back, hand it to him, and tell him that if the problem is serious he should call an ambulance. Then walk out. If you here sirens, then you know to worry. If not, then he knows you've got his game.
Most of all, be firm. Don't cave. The game is over, and you Both Win.
2006-07-24 23:34:56 · answer #2 · answered by sandostrich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do something to make him have a real one then let im join momma. No just kidding tell him he is like the boy who cried wolf when he really has a heart attack you wont know wether he is manipulating you or if he is being sincere. So tell him to lay off with the fake heart attacks okay.
God bless and take care buddy!
2006-07-24 23:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Justin D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hand him the phone and tell him to dial 9-1-1. Or act like you are dialing.
Sarcastically say to him as you are walking away, "No, I don't think you'll be joining mother. You'll be going to the other place."
2006-07-24 23:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by CCCounselor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, this is tough. Apparently he doesn't feel that he is getting enough attention from you.
Tell him that you will come and visit him and do stuff with him as long as his health is good.
Is he ill really in any way? Tell him you're in on his game and that isn't the way to get your attention.
2006-07-24 23:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we thought the same thing about daddy... turned out that he had a hole in his heart the size of a half dollar coin...
make your dad realize you're concerned about his health & well-being, by not taking "no" for an answer>>> about him going to a doctor (so you'll know for sure).
...if he checks out ok, he doesn't have that poor-health excuse to use as leverage anymore.
2006-07-25 00:56:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him in a calm way why he is acting in such a cruel way. To throw in your face again and again the death of your mother is just plain evil.
You give him an ultimatum with, "if you do this again, I will leave."
YOU CANNOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD HOSTAGE BY HIS INSENSITIVE AND CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
BE FIRM.
And, just out of curiosity, what kinds of things is he trying to get you to do? And how old are you>???
2006-07-24 23:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you get some self esteem training and regain your courage and independence. another thing that can help you 'get a spine' is working with codependency. he's got you on the run, probably from early childhood and you need to disconnect from parental CONTROLLERS and find your own power that was stollen from you from birth.
2006-07-25 00:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you know what he is doing. Tell him if he wants you to do something for him, all he has to do is just ASK. Tell him that you will still cater to him if he continues this game, but you will RESPECT HIM LESS. Most men want respect, and that should snap him out of it foolishness.
2006-07-24 23:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him no,and ask him. How many times you had done the fake heat attacks? Just tell him that you, don't believe in him anymore.
2006-07-24 23:09:25 · answer #10 · answered by Sakura ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋