My dad, he just came back from Iraq after 4 months of being away(he's not a soldier just a civilian worker) and although I'm really happy to see him again, it feels like I hardly know him any more. I've had millions of emotions and thoughts run through me since he's been gone all building up to when he got back, and now its like I have nothing to say. I dont know how to tell him how much I've missed him, how much I love him, and how much I would give to see he more than a week or two every four months. I'm a bit of a wreck and just dont know what to do.
2006-07-24 15:57:28 · 14 answers · asked by Andrew 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, I would start by telling him exactly what you told us. Be honest with him, but try not to have too high of expectations regarding his response.
Although I have a feeling he would love to have you just tell him how you feel, even if it's just to say you don't know what to say.
2006-07-24 16:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by LooneyDude 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just take your time,you both have a million emotions running through your heads.Write dad a letter explaining what you were going through and thinking while he was away and also your thought now he is back.Sometimes we think and try to cope with traumatic things in all different ways.I haven't seen my daughter for six years,and this is how I get through the day,when a thought of her comes into my head,I push it straight out and think of something else that is why the PC is good it keeps your mind busy. Good luck with dad I do so hope things turn out for you bye xx xx
2006-07-24 23:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by fairie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have a computer, my guess is you also have a printer. Print your question and the answers then ask your Dad to read them.
NO ONE exposed to war is unchanged. I was in Viet Nam for a year, I worked on aircraft and was only armed a few times. I discharged my weapon once. What I am saying is I didn't spend a year manufacturing dead bodies but what I saw changed me. Everyone who knew me told me I left too much of me over there or brought too much of over there home with me.
I hope that helps you understand that your Dad is different, the differences may be mild, but they exist, that I guarantee. He was in "harms way" with a son to consider, he may be confused also. My suggestion is not guaranteed, but it may break the ice and start some talk.
Good Luck.
BTW, I didn't have a kid to think about when the enemy was trying to kill me.
2006-07-24 23:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would sit down and write him a letter telling him everything you have just told us. He has seen some pretty bad stuff over there I'm sure, so his emotions might be buried at this moment. I'm sure he would like nothing better than to hear from his son that he is loved and missed when he is away. Plus, the next time he is away, he'll have your letter to read over and over. Good luck to you and your dad.
2006-07-24 23:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no telling what he went through over there, even if he wasn't a soldier. Ask him about his experience, and if he still doesn't want to talk, just try to be encouraging to him. If you have a hard time speaking face to face, consider a card or letter.
2006-07-24 23:03:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do some self esteem work and look into codependency.
a way to start learning to communicate is to write him letters in a journal (that you may or may not send) and after a while you get the knack of saying what you feel and want to say so that it comes out better in real life.
2006-07-25 00:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you want to talk to him and when you get the chance to well say, that you really miss him a lot and if you both have any spare time, go somewhere fun to hang out like a restaurant or beach or wherever. you should really talk to him and spend your time with him sooner or later he'll be gone. you only get one chance in a lifetime
2006-07-24 23:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by cindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is NORMAL. Everyone that has a relative show up like this goes through the same thing. All will return to normal in time.
2006-07-24 23:04:57 · answer #8 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about just give him a big hug and say glad to see you dad I missed you.
2006-07-24 22:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by minx_heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try and tell him the truth
tell him eveythign you said in the question
im sure he will respect it b.c you love him
and you miss him dont be shy hes you dad
and he loves you
2006-07-24 23:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by natty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋