My boyfriend who promised me the world... told me that he loved me. And I believed it! Last May he needed $200 to for a consulate appointment to get a visa to come visit me.. and he asked for my help. I sent it. He told me that they "denied" his visa..and the money was nonrefundable. It wasn't until last week.. he told me he doesn't love me and that he doesn't want to be friends anymore. AND.... he admitted that he "USED" me all this time (a period of 3 years.. we met when he was in bible college in the U.S. He graduated last year.. went home due a teaching contract in his country at a bible institute).My heart is broken. I honestly believed in his goodness because of his profession. I was mistaken. I have spent at least three thousand dollars on long distance... not to mention presents.. on birthdays, Christmas..etc... I am asking for advice on how to deal with this.. I am hurting.. Please help!
2006-07-24 15:44:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To make matters worst.. we were intimate. I feel used in the worst way. Should I ask for my money back or what? The question isn't about the money, it's about the way he went about everything....
2006-07-24 15:47:40 · update #1
I am genuinely asking for help. Those of you who are reponding insultingly are being reported.
2006-07-24 15:51:16 · update #2
First I just want to say to you that the Lord hears all of your cries, is counting your tears, as is with you right now, and wants you to turn to him. Hey, I know that this is such a hard time for you, and that you probably feel like you cannot get rid of the pain, but remember your faith in God. That you can trust him and praise him through this storm, and he will make good out of all this, and in the future you will see that he paved paths that led from exactly where you are right now, to your future. Trust him with all of your heart that he will give you peace and turn this around for you, so that you can feel joy and serenity again. I have been in alot of bad relationships. I am recently a Christian, and he has helped me through alot. Sometimes it was just unbearable, I was in similar positions as you are right now, and looking back I wish that I relied on the Lord alone to get me through it. This guy may be a real jerk, but the Lord loves you more than any man ever can, and he will one day bring you someone else who will be a million times better then this guy. Lay in your room with the lights off and open your heart as much as you can and ask God to fill you with a sense of purpose again, a new and better purpose. Ask him to heal your pain, to take away your worry, and to show you the way back into the light. God bless you, and everything will be okay hun, the Lord promises this.
2006-07-24 15:59:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Interesting situation you have here, sounds very familiar, oh yeah thats right I'm dealing with the same thing right now, but I wish my amount was only 3000. It is a hard thing when you find out you were being used, but I'm not going to ask for my money back, to me it isn't worth dealing with that person to get it, and anyway seeing as these people used good people like you and I they would probably use someone else to repay us, and I don't want that on my mind.
2006-07-24 16:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. No 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to deal with the hurt and deception someone we trusted inflicts on us. As therapy, write him a letter you will never send, put in it the anger, frustration, hatred, everything you feel right now. Let him know how deep you are hurting. When you are done, light a match to that piece of paper and let it burn.
Watch it burn and as it crumbles feel the liberation of letting go. Declare yourself free from this guy.
I hope this can help. And I hope you will be stronger after this, not bitter, not vindictive, but wiser. God Bless.
2006-07-24 15:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by umbralatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE. ON. Do not contact him, do not ask for your money back. Preserve what dignity you have left. Go to therapy, cry on your friends' shoulders, but MOVE ON.
(edited to add) You've already lost enough of your time and self to this person. Stop now. Contacting him at all will make things infinitely worse.
2006-07-24 15:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by amivins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would like to offer my sincere sympathy for your current situation.
it seems you are a bit to trust and should be a little wary of this in the future. as for your heart only time will heal it. i suggest meditation, a good workout, a martial art or yoga, some deep soul searching, and maybe a physiologist could help. i hope this helped and i really hope you feel better.
2006-07-24 17:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by siddragoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he did that to you he isn't going to be a very good preacher, if he comes back and asks for you two to go out and said he really missed you then use him for all hes got, don't mope get even make him jealous.
2006-07-24 15:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by sam I am 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Promises, promises, congratulations, you've been USED! Find yourself a nice guy in your area...
2006-07-24 15:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about him Carma comes around and it will bite his ***worse than it is now, so forget about him he never treated you good and there is no reason you should be spending all your time hurting and worrying. good luck.
2006-07-24 15:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY DEAR YOU WILL NEVER SEE ONE DIME FROM HIM.SORRY HE USED YOU BUT IT DOES HAPPEN.YOU BEST BET IS TO FORGET ABOUT HIM AND MOVE ON.
2006-07-24 15:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by petasucks101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on lady
2006-07-24 15:48:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋