Girlfriend Rarely Orgasms (37 I'm 32) - ladies please help!!!!?

Question

I've been seeing the gf for about 4mths and have up until now been very confident about my 'sexual prowess' having had excellent relationships in the past. From what she says she has enjoyed some spectacular times in past relationships as well and she was highly sexed when I met her. I am very much into foreplay and would happily spend hours licking, fingering, squeezing, caressing... ...and all at the same time and also consider myself to be quite well endowed. She claimed that during penetrative sex I went too fast for her so have slowed down but I very rarely make her orgasm no matter what I do. I think it's because she knows that it means a lot to me that I satisfy her and that it's a mental block. It's hard not to take an 'I don't care' attitude because then I feel selfish but if I do care she'll still worry about having to orgasm. I also think she's lost her enthusiasm and that I'm to blame which makes me feel bad. How do I get over this?

It's not mind games because she WANTS to orgasm and gets very close but not there. She also gets on top and at her own speed but still no joy.

Has had big 'o' but v rarely 4 - 5 times. No echooo - nice n snug. Tried lightinmg, lotions, massage. Hard not to worry so big partb of problem as feeling inadequate. Have used her toys. She uses toys to much success when I'm not there. Even tried when she's asleep.

In terms of technique - some great tips but I'm 32 and have had an adventurous sex life so I've already done everything mentioned and varieties of them. I'm not a pump & hump merchant and think most girls get off on clitoral stimulation so that's been a focus. I'm not TOO big and certainly not as big as one of her toys (which is now not used). She has orgasmed with me but v rarely but has orgasmed much more with people in past relationships. I think the problem is that I want her to orgasm and hence mental block/pressure. The only other thing I can think of is that she sometimes masturbates a lot and I think that may be having an impact. I work away all week and return for weekends so in week she w@nks, should be pleased to see me, and pressure of limited time at weekend - almost now or never or miss another week. Getting sad, wonderful woman, love very much, starting to cause problems in relationship. :( Thanks all for advice.

Answer 1

Stop worrying, just make sure you give her pleasure instead of pressure. When the NEED for an orgasm goes away, she'll come. We enjoy it without the orgasm too. But having a man Wanting you to come makes you concentrate on having the orgasm instead of the pleasure of the act.

Answer 2

You've got to spice it up. Change everything. The lighting, the atmosphere, the location.... get some toys, lotions, etc. Try giving her an erotic massage, no strings attached. If she has an orgasm during the massage fine, if not that's fine too. Sex afterwards? Possibly....make it her choice. Let the night be all about her. Maybe she will relax knowing that nothing is expected except that she enjoys herself.

Answer 3

Intercourse happens with the body, sex happens with the mind. You've got to find a way to relax and take the pressure off. Try some non-sexual foreplay. Read to her while you stroke her hair, bathe her and wash her hair, it will relax both of you to slow things down. Lay in bed and talk a little, playfully kissing and touching. Start with slow, passionate kisses, barely touching her lips. Kiss her neck and slowly run your fingers down her chest and over her stomach. Relaxing movements like this are good ways to build up to the the magic moment. Take your time, make her feel she is the only one in the world. Prolong oral by working up to a feeding frenzy, don't start out that way. I've found that if I stay still and give oral at the same pace the whole time, it's not nearly as effective as wrapping my arms around his legs and doing it like I can't get enough.

Hope that helps!!

Answer 4

You need to concentrate on the clitoris. It is where orgasms come from. If you have not properly stimulated the clitoris through oral or by hand, you can pump away all you want, vaginal stimulation only is just not going to ring her bell.

'Well endowed' makes no difference - if anything it can be a hindrance if you are so big you are hitting her cervix or so thick you are uncomfortable for her.

Have you ever tried making love to her without any penetration? She might find that a huge turn on - you making love to her selflessly without any physical 'pay off ' for yourself. Lesbians do it all the time. You don't need penetration for orgasm.

Answer 5

Well if you think she's playing mind games with you, id have seconed thoughts about the relationship, especially if it has you questioning your skills. From what you say, it's a very lucky girl that gets a guy that loves foreplay as much as it sounds like you do.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

While she is asleep,put your face btween her legs and gently go to town,she will be more relaxed and her stress over all this wont be so bad,if she still has trouble go for the sex toys,a vibrator does it everytime and dont be so hard on yourself,the end result is that you care about her being satisfies so who cares if its not your penis or tongue that make her ***.

Answer 7

That was too long so I sorta lost the question in there, but I wish more guys cared the way you do about making sure your girl is happy - wanna give my boy a lesson?

Answer 8

not nessecary becausei fine myself in the same situation with my boyfriend sometime he does everything and i cant come sometime and you are not to blame and become frustrated because you are doing everthing you can do watch some blue movie and when you know she is turn on you do the caressing and the foreplay that work for me.

Answer 9

Please try this... I had the same problem but once she has the first one there should be no problem. Lay side by side (spooning) and while entering her from behind use your hand to play with the clit. She will orgasm within minutes. I promise. Let me know how you get on.

Answer 10

You say she plays with herself a lot, I think she's gotten used to coming through w@nking would may happen if she does that a lot. I don't suppose you'd ask her to maybe cut back of the bean flicking?